Archives For Alan Smyth

Today, we pause to say “Thank you” to our veterans and their families. Although as the pictures below suggest, “Thank you” only begins to cover it.

Thank you vets

Today is Memorial Day. We remember those who paid the ultimate price for our freedom. Families say good bye to Mom or Dad for many months at a time as they are deployed. And tragically, many families say good bye forever.

Memorial day funeral

Today, MyFatherDaughter honors those families past, present and future. While it is woefully inadequate….. “THANK YOU” for all you do!

Here is an idea: Why not take a field trip with your kids today? Why not visit a military cemetery. Take in some quiet moments and survey the sights with your family. Observe grieving families as they remember their loved ones. Teach your kids to respect the massive efforts of those who have gone before them.

Thank you Vets!
Alan

We are now on Instagram as we celebrate great Dads. follow us at “myfatherdaughter”

Father’s Day is almost here. Do some fun shopping in our store. Hit the link below and use “DAD” to receive 20% off entire order.

 

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Letter to David Klinkhamer from Dr. Don Worcester
David, congratulations and welcome to Man Club. I am disappointed to miss the gathering of men this weekend but I do look forward to hearing some of the war stories and highlights that happen during this time. You have a great group of men around you. You can thank your dad for that. He has been a great example of courage, grace, humility and truth to many of us! You come from good Man Stock. You have a great cloud of Man Witnesses surrounding you and cheering for you as you begin your race as a Young Man. This will be “Your” race. Sometimes you will be the student on this journey, sometimes you will be the teacher, stay the course. We are all depending and believing that you will take your place and run your race with great heart and great courage.

Let me suggest a few things to consider and keep track of along the way.

*Find and build great guy friends. The men around you are there because they voted themselves into a community of other good men. Decide now that you will do the same. Decide now that you will invest in developing great relationships with great guys. You will never regret doing this, you will always regret not doing this.

* Live in the Light. Be very careful what you hide. Things become powerful in the dark. You will make plenty of mistakes as a man. There is an endless supply of grace, mercy and fresh starts for our stumbling, fumbling and sin. Our mistakes will not kill us, hiding them will! Do not ever believe that your mistakes disqualify you from beginning again.

* A Great Wife should be a Great Friend. Girls are amazing, distracting, confusing and wonderful. Get in the habit now of building great friendships with young women. It is much better to add romance to a friendship than to try and add friendship to a romance. Learn how to do fun things with fun people and it will be much easier to meet and develop great relationships. God said at the very beginning of Genesis, ” It is not good for Man to be alone”, that is still true.

*Develop and use your Gifts. God gave you something to develop and contribute to the community. The natural gifts and abilities that God put in you, are intended to be developed and released into others. You were blessed to be a blessing. Your Vocation or calling is the , ” thing you cannot not do” Talk with other who know you well, ask them about the gifts and abilities they see in you. Invest the time, energy and resources to get better at what you love. Then get busy doing it.

* Be Patient with yourself and others. I expected to have more figured out and worked out by this point in my life as a Man. I have made plenty of little and big mistakes on my own journey. The one consistent truth in my life has never come from me, or my performance, it has only come from God. He has been faithful to love me, to come for me and to restore me when I have blown it. I hope you know and experience the stubborn and gracious love of God that has gripped my life so personally and mercifully the last 40 years. God is still at work in my life as a Man. The work is ongoing but we always get to and have to decide to cooperate and participate in the next good things Christ is leading us into.

” The two most important days in a mans life are the day he is born and the day he finds out why”
-Mark Twain-

Welcome aboard the Man Train David, your life just got bigger.

Don Worcester

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Live Your Faith

Alan Smyth —  April 27, 2015 — Leave a comment

If you have been following this blog, you have heard us speak about the three things that young women have said that have impacted them greatly. This week, I want to talk about the next one on the list. One of the key principles that I heard impacted girls growing up was seeing their dad modeling and living out an authentic faith in God.

Faith

Let’s break this down a little

As your daughter begins her lifetime of learning, her biggest class room is in your home. You are her first and most effective teacher. The launch she gets in life will largely be determined by what she learns in her home classroom. Here is an incomplete list of the things that a daughter can get from a dad who lives out an authentic faith.

She sees (and experiences) unconditional love, forgiveness, trust, faith & hope. She learns about giving as her parents give away their time, talent and treasure. As she sees her dad humble himself in prayer, she learns the value of a Big God who is in involved. As her dad takes her to church she learns the value of community. As her dad lives out and incorporates scripture into the family, she learns valuable biblical lessons.

A Godly life, home and family is the best way to go. It isn’t necessarily the easiest, but it is clearly the best.  As you love and serve your God, you will bring people closer, love more freely, feel more deeply, and live more abundantly.

These are all things I want for my daughter. Obtaining these things will help pave the way and set a healthy trajectory for her. It isn’t good enough to outsource this teaching to your church or some other avenue. YOU must live it out on a consistent basis or your words will be cheap and hollow.

Do you want your daughter to live out the characteristics I have described above? It might seem a little odd for me to challenge your spiritual life in a parenting blog. However, it is based on real data I received from high quality young women. They spoke over and over about the huge impact they received by watching and experiencing their dads living out their own authentic faith.

keep calm and have faith

Today’s Take Away: Look into your own life and heart. John 3:30 talks about Jesus becoming an increasingly bigger part of your life and YOU becoming an increasingly smaller part of your life. Give some thought to how much space in your heart you have given Jesus. Look for ways to turn over more and more of your life to what God has for you. Your daughter receives a huge benefit by you stepping up in your spiritual life.

God bless you in this pursuit friends

Alan Smyth

There is an entire chapter in the book “Prized Possession” which is devoted to hearing from high quality young women what impacted them most as they were growing up. The topic today was one of the top three!

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Seminar For Dads

Alan Smyth —  April 20, 2015 — Leave a comment

“Prized Possession” Seminar for Dad’s

There are several facets to this “Father/Daughter” conversation which have bubbled up. If you are reading this, then you already know about the blog found at www.myfatherdaughter.com. This has been a fun place for meaningful conversation via this blog and the associated website. If you are not “subscribed” to our blog, please do so at our website.  I’m not sure if you knew that we wrote a book last year called “Prized Possession.” The book has been well received and helpful for lots of Dads and is available on our website.

book

Another fun component to this project is that Kristy Fox and I are available to deliver a two hour, interactive seminar which is based on the table of contents of our book. We have done this several times and each time it has been incredibly well received. We have loved processing the important Father/Daughter relationship with hundreds of Dads.

A & K speaking

If you would be interested in booking us for this seminar you may e-mail us at Alan@myfatherdaugher.com to begin the conversation. You can also pull down the drop-down on our website entitled “seminar.” There you will find more information including some feedback from recent attenders.

Crowd at seminar

“I feel equipped to engage”

“Good best practices”

“Very informative, great job”

“Excellent job of encouraging the dads. Thanks for the great ideas. “

“Keep up the great work”

“It really opened my eyes at the importance of being a more prominent part of my daughter’s life”

“Be the man I want my daughter to seek”

“It’s time to forget the past and engage”

“Let her know she is my gift from God”

“This was great motivation to finish well. Thank you for the blessing”

“Kristy, you don’t know how much you have helped”

E-mail me for more information!

Be Better!

Alan

By the way, you can also follow us on Instagram, facebook and twitter!

 

Check out our store below for some fun gear and to pick up our book!

 

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Dad, Where are YOU?

Alan Smyth —  April 12, 2015 — Leave a comment

Last week was a dramatic display of pathetic Dads. In my “day job”, I am the Regional Director for Young Life in Los Angeles. I lead a faithful team of saints who are actively entrenched in the lives of adolescents in Los Angeles. Young Life is a faith based ministry which seeks to share God’s love to teens in a way they can understand.

Last week I had a videographer in town as we are producing a promotional video for others to see what we are doing and hopefully be inspired to get involved. We spent three days driving around town and interviewing kids. As we asked these teens to share their stories, there was one resounding theme that was repeated over and over.

diamond

Often through tears, almost all of these students shared the heartache of an absent father. Or worse yet, a Dad who was present but abusive. Deep pain, lasting hurt and lots of regret was heard over and over and over.

Jenny

Each time I heard from these sweet kids I had two distinct feelings. First I wanted to give them a hug and second, I wanted to go find their Dad. I was again reminded in a graphic way of the incredible responsibility we have as Dad’s. I was encouraged that my daughter does not have their story and I was inspired to continue this important conversation with whoever will listen.

The twitter handle for “MyFatherDaughter” is @2cor618. Follow us if you want. It refers to a bible verse that says “And I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” It’s my hope and prayer that these hurting kids will know God’s love for them and they will sense they have the Father they were cheated out of thus far.

Thanks for wanting to be a great Dad. Your daughter might not thank you for your effort, but later in life she will be far better off and extremely grateful for your presence in her life.

Keep going!

Alan

 

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Running the Race

Alan Smyth —  March 22, 2015 — Leave a comment

“Do you not know that In the race all the runners run, But only one gets the prize?

Run in such way to get the prize.”

1 Corinthians 9:24

Paul threw down the challenge. As long as you are in the race, you may as well run to win. I mean, if you are going to be running, why not break a sweat and do your best?

The kicker here is that you might be inclined to think that the race is optional. You might be inclined to think that since you did not officially enter the race, that you are not compelled to run.

 Marathon 3

Last week, my awesome wife and daughter ran the LA Marathon. WOW! What an accomplishment! I had a distinct choice in the matter. I could enter the race and run, or I could not enter the race and observe. The picture above is a post-race family shot of my son, daughter, wife and I. My son and I slept in that day and ate a hearty breakfast at the hotel. My wife and daughter tortured their bodies running 26.2. We all made our choice.

Marathon 4

The LA marathon was optional. I didn’t run!

The race of life is not optional. If you are alive, you have been automatically entered. You are running! And if you made the choice to be a dad, the race of parenting is not optional. You entered yourself years ago. You don’t get to choose each day whether or not you are going to be a dad. You made that lifetime choice long ago and now you ARE A DAD and you are running the race.

Marathon 5

So, now as long as you are running, why not run to win? Why not run in such a way to get the prize? So what is “winning” in parenting? What is the “prize?”

How about some of these as the prize you are going after?

  • Great communication between you and your kids
  • Lots of laughter in the home
  • A loving and full relationship with your wife
  • A daughter who can discern the difference between truth and lies
  • A son who knows what authentic manhood is

Marathon 1

In running a marathon, you don’t show up on race day and do well without training. Similarly with parenting, you don’t show up on race day without training and hope to succeed.  A successful marathon like successful parenting is accomplished through consistent training and effort over a long period of time. It requires the right nutrition and equipment and above all it requires a firm resolve to achieving the goal.

“As long as you are in the race, why not run in such a way to win the prize.”

We have far too many observing dads and not enough running dads.

Break a sweat guys!

Alan

In order to help you with your training, visit our store and pick up our book “Prized Possession” and our workbook “30 Day Challenge.” Use “20” at check our and receive a 20% discount on your entire order. Hit the button below!

 

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