Archives For Alan Smyth

Liam Neeson Wisdom

Alan Smyth —  January 10, 2019 — 1 Comment

I love going to the movies. I have to say I am a little more “Jason Bourne” in my tastes than I am “Jean Valjean.”

Recently, I saw the movie Battleship, in which the young misfit hero, Hopper, was about to be kicked out of the Navy. As the plot unfolded, he became romantically involved with the daughter of the Admiral, who was played by Liam Neeson. As usual, Liam Neeson’s character was somewhat tough and intimidating. Hopper spent much of the movie looking for an opportunity to ask the Admiral permission to marry his daughter. Naturally, he was scared and hesitant throughout.

As it turned out, Hopper rose to the challenge to defeat an alien attack force that waged war and attempted to take over planet Earth. He showed incredible courage, wisdom, and strength in the process. He risked his own life in order to save mankind, and he accomplished “Hollywood level” success.

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When the movie was all but over, and Hopper had defeated the aliens, he finally had the chance to ask the Admiral for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Hopper approached the Admiral, told him that he loved his daughter, and requested permission to marry her. But the Admiral responded with an adamant, “No!”

Hopper replied, “But I just saved the world!”

The Admiral’s response is one of my new favorite movie lines of all time. I love his answer, because I resonated with his response. Liam Neeson’s character said to his frightened would-be son-in-law, “Saving the world is one thing, Mr. Hopper. My daughter is quite another.”

Yes! In other words, “That’s right, son. Thanks for saving the world and all, but that does not give you entrance into my daughter’s life. It’s not that easy. We are talking about my daughter here, and she is more precious to me than the entire world. You saved the world? It’s going to take a lot more than that! I am her sworn protector and defender. She is my treasure.”

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I like to think of the movie “Taken” as more of a Public Service Announcement than a movie. Of course they took lots of Hollywood liberties in making a fun movie, but the essence of it is true. There are bad guys, scum bags & predators out there wishing to do harm to young females. When the movie was in the theatre, I gave money to my daughter for her and her roommates to go see that movie. I needed her to be more aware of the harsh realities out in the big ugly world.

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I love Liam’s response to the French police chief when he is being asked to calm down. He said,

“I would tear down the Eifel tower if it meant finding my daughter!”

May we all have the focus, resolve and success in guarding and protecting our daughter as the movie characters played by Liam Neeson!

Press On

Alan Smyth

PS: Some of the above content is found in Chapter 1 of the book, Prized Possession.

 

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New Year’s Resolution

Alan Smyth —  December 31, 2018 — 4 Comments

If you are like me, you are considering some kind of New Year’s resolution right about now. Even though the stats are against us on those who follow through, I can’t help but think about how I want my 2019 to be different. It is healthy to look back to evaluate and then look forward to improve.

As you are considering your New Year’s resolutions, I want to pass along some very important information I gleaned from the many interviews I conducted regarding this Father/Daughter project (website/blog/seminar/book)

I contacted dozens of great young women (post teen age) who seemed to turn out awesome and seem to have a great relationship with their Dads. I asked them “What did your dad do?” “What was good?” “What blessed you?” “What impacted you?” Below are their top three answers.

The things that real girls (who turned out great) said more than anything else were:

  1. My Dad loved and respected my mom.
  2. My Dad had an authentic faith.
  3. My Dad took me on trips/adventures.

The power behind those three statements is that they came straight from the mouths of great girls who succeeded! They are flourishing out in the real world. They have chosen great husbands who love them well and they are strong independent women of faith & family. Who doesn’t want that for their daughters? I realize that this thing called parenting cannot be put into a formula and there is nothing about it that is predictable. At the end of the day, you can do everything “right” and things can still be tough. Your daughter will still have to make her own choices and likely some of those will differ from yours.

But…. And this is a BIG BUT….. Why would we not consider the successes from those who have gone before us on this important and complicated topic? Real girls have said that their dad loving their mom made a huge impact on them. Real girls said that their dad’s authentic faith made a huge impact on them. Real girls said that their dad taking them on trips made a huge impact on them.

This is like the first day of school when the teacher says, “Ok, here is what is going to be on the test. Study this and you will be ok.” My word to you dads out there for 2019 is “Study this, and you will be ok.” Put these three things on top of your list for 2019. Stay tuned to this blog in 2019 as we will unpack and address each of these items in greater detail.

Happy New Year!

Alan Smyth

PS: This content appears in much greater detail in Chapter 8 of the book “Prized Possession” entitled “Do This!” The book is available now. Hit the banner below to purchase.

 

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Merry Christmas!

Alan Smyth —  December 24, 2018 — Leave a comment

Merry Christmas!

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

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I wish you a very Merry Christmas
Alan

 

 

 

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As the Holidays are upon us, I wanted to suggest a few very practical things to do with your daughter. Typically, both you and your daughter will have a little down time coming up. Thanksgiving is this Thursday and you will likely have a long weekend. Then, Christmas vacay is right around the corner.

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Here are a few suggestions to help take advantage of the extra time you will have with your daughter. Obviously depending on your daughter’s age, you will need to make adjustments.

*Take your daughter out to breakfast or lunch over the holidays. (Do it more than once)

*Sit down and watch one of your daughters TV shows WITH her. Take an interest, ask some questions.

*Sneak into your daughter’s bathroom at night and write a note on her mirror. Tell her something you are proud of her for.

*Take your daughter to a movie over vacation.

*Ask her “If you could do anything at all during your vacation, what would it be?” Then DO IT with her!

*Look at the “written resources” section of our website (www.myfatherdaughter.com) Find the section with the “Father Daughter Scriptures” and read her a new bible verse each day. Then discuss it by saying “what do you think that means?” and “What would change if we lived like we believed it was true?”

*In the “Video Resources” section of our website, show her the “Evolution” video and discuss how most of the beauty projected in the media is NOT real.

*Tell her you are going to start a new tradition called the “Father/Daughter Get away.” Discuss where the two of you are going to go on an overnight trip sometime this coming spring or summer.

This is just a start. Take any of these or make some up on your own. The important thing is that you engage with your daughter somehow, some way. The upcoming month can afford you more of an opportunity to do so.

As Nike said…. “Just Do It”

I’d love to hear about anything you did with your daughter. Share your success with us!

Have an awesome Thanksgiving Holiday with your family!

Press on

Alan Smyth

 

Now that the Holiday season is officially ON, don’t forget to peruse the My Father Daughter Store for some fun items for the Dad’s & Daughters in your life! Hit the banner below to take you to our store!

 

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Live Your Faith

Alan Smyth —  October 23, 2018 — Leave a comment

If you have been following this blog, you have heard us speak about the three things that young women have said that have impacted them greatly. This week, I want to talk about the next one on the list. One of the key principles that I heard impacted girls growing up was seeing their dad modeling and living out an authentic faith in God.

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Let’s break this down a little

As your daughter begins her lifetime of learning, her biggest class room is in your home. You are her first and most effective teacher. The launch she gets in life will largely be determined by what she learns in her home classroom. Here is an incomplete list of the things that a daughter can get from a dad who lives out an authentic faith.

She sees (and experiences) unconditional love, forgiveness, trust, faith & hope. She learns about giving as her parents give away their time, talent and treasure. As she sees her dad humble himself in prayer, she learns the value of a Big God who is in involved. As her dad takes her to church she learns the value of community. As her dad lives out and incorporates scripture into the family, she learns valuable biblical lessons.

A Godly life, home and family is the best way to go. It isn’t necessarily the easiest, but it is clearly the best.  As you love and serve your God, you will bring people closer, love more freely, feel more deeply, and live more abundantly.

These are all things I want for my daughter. Obtaining these things will help pave the way and set a healthy trajectory for her. It isn’t good enough to outsource this teaching to your church or some other avenue. YOU must live it out on a consistent basis or your words will be cheap and hollow.

Do you want your daughter to live out the characteristics I have described above? It might seem a little odd for me to challenge your spiritual life in a parenting blog. However, it is based on real data I received from high quality young women. They spoke over and over about the huge impact they received by watching and experiencing their dads living out their own authentic faith.

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Today’s Take Away: Look into your own life and heart. John 3:30 talks about Jesus becoming an increasingly bigger part of your life and YOU becoming an increasingly smaller part of your life. Give some thought to how much space in your heart you have given Jesus. Look for ways to turn over more and more of your life to what God has for you. Your daughter receives a huge benefit by you stepping up in your spiritual life.

God bless you in this pursuit friends

Alan Smyth

There is an entire chapter in the book “Prized Possession” which is devoted to hearing from high quality young women what impacted them most as they were growing up. The topic today was one of the top three!

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More Real Talk

Alan Smyth —  August 3, 2018 — Leave a comment

In our book Prized Possession, we have inserted some real comments from real girls between chapters which help to shape the importance of this conversation. In a sobering reflection, take a look at what this real life girl said about her Dad.
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Real Talk
“My dad is lazy and absent from my life. Although he is home, he sits around watching TV or doing other things rather than spend time with our family. He only communicates with me when he is mad at me for something I have done. When he knows he has done something that upsets my brother or me, he tries to buy our love back by getting us presents.
He gave me a gift a few months ago that is still sitting in my closet. It’s still wrapped, because
I don’t even care enough to open it. I can’t even look at it because it makes me so angry.”

 

Here is what I hear from this heartbroken young lady:

• Dad is absent, not physically, but emotionally.
• Dad is not engaged with his family.
• Dad does not communicate positively.
• Dad thinks he can buy his kids off to compensate for his own shortcomings.
• Your daughter wants YOU in her life

Learn a lesson from a knucklehead Dad. It’s actually not that hard. Just do the exact opposite of what this Dad is doing and do it consistently!

Be Better!

Alan

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