Archives For Alan Smyth

Spring Break – Scary

Alan Smyth —  April 18, 2016 — 2 Comments

We are in the season of Spring Break. When kids are little, “Spring Break” simply means a celebration of NO SCHOOL. And before we got all politically correct, it wasn’t even called “Spring Break.” It was called “Easter Vacation.” Either way, for kids, Spring Break started out pure and fun. It started out as time with family and friends.
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“Spring Break” now conjures up very different meanings and images. Spring break has become big business for popular destinations such as Vegas, Florida and Mexico. It is THE thing to do for thousands upon thousands of college kids.
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Is it all bad? Ummmm, well, Yep, pretty much! Honestly, it’s baffling to me how and why parents are letting their kids go to these types of events. I guess there is a case to be made that those “kids” who are participating are actually “adults” and can do whatever they want. To that I say, GREAT, then pay for your own college… cell phone….food… car… etc etc etc. and be a real adult!

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I certainly don’t mean to lump every kid on these trips into the lowest common denominator. But even good kids or naïve kids showing up in an environment with massive alcohol consumption, open sexual activity and exploitation, and predators of all kinds will lead to poor judgment, regret, pain or worse.

Ok, so what is my message to Dad’s out there? I’m guessing most you reading this agree with my opinion here and the overall safety of “Spring Breaks.” If not, I am totally comfortable going against the grain on this one.

My message is this:
The accepted stereo typical “Spring Break” activity is bad, unhealthy and downright scary. Especially for those of us with daughters.

Start while your daughter is young creating a fun, positive tradition over “Spring Break.” Something to look forward to every year.

Create family alternatives which are more attractive than the world’s options and you will have a better chance as your kids grow older. (hint: relationship with YOU is the key)

Or how about just saying “NO” to things you don’t approve of? Regardless of their legal age you will always be their parent and will always have a voice and a vote in their lives.

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For my daughters’ Sr. year “Spring Break” trip, I took her to Hawaii (just her ane I) and had her swim with the Dolphins. (her dream) Even better…. It was her idea.

You can do this guys. Step up and fill the void. Redefine what is fun, available, wholesome and healthy. Be counter cultural and start at a young age!

Press On

Alan

Great Father’s Day gifts below. Pick up the book “Prized Possession” for Dad’s and also a fun T-shirt or two at the links below.

 

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Men, we need to have a difficult conversation. There is a disturbing reality growing in our midst and we need an army of men to rise up and say, “No more. Not on my watch!” I made a career change this past fall and have embraced a greater challenge than I have ever known. I have gone to work for an LA based non profit called Saving Innocence.

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We work with child victims of sex trafficking. And believe me, if that sounds bad…. The reality is far worse than it even sounds. Right under our collective noses, Human Trafficking has proliferated beyond measure and is currently the fastest growing crime in the world. Some 30 million people world wide are enslaved. Our focus is on the minors who have been caught up in this ugly criminal enterprise. The average age of entry is just TWELVE years old and experts estimate that there are as many as 300,000 children being sold for sex in the US each year. These are American born kids who are being forced to be with between 10-20 men per day. I am not talking about Thailand or Cambodia….. I am talking about the United States of America. Within our borders in our cities and with our children.

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If you are like me, you are disgusted and repulsed right about now. How is this happening? Why is this happening? I feel as if our society is in a moral free fall. The fact that we are allowing the Commercial, Sexual, Exploitation of Children is beyond understandable and it is beyond allowable. The picture below is of one our clients waiting for her turn to testify in court against her trafficker. You can not help but notice how young she appears to be.

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So what do we do?

We respond with law enforcement around the clock, 24/7. We arrive on the scene for the recovery of a child who is being trafficked. We are with them in their most vulnerable moments advocating for their needs. We then begin case management services for as long as it takes to completely change the trajectory of this child’s life. Our goal is to give her back her childhood and turn her from victim to survivor to someone who is thriving. As you might imagine, this is a long and bumpy road.

So what can you do?

First, know about it…. This is happening. Learn about it. Understand it. See our website for more information. CLICK HERE.

Once you know about it, now care about it. (how could you not?)

Once you care about it, now do something about it. Help us raise awareness. Read up on this crime and share with your networks what is happening. Help us raise funds to recover and restore these dear children. Saving Innocence is looking for monthly donors and one time donors. From our website, hit the DONATE button and become our partner. Follow us on all of our social media channels @savinginnocence. “Share” or “retweet” this blog post.

This crime needs to go away and it needs to go away right now. Please invest some time and energy in learning about it and get involved.

As for you Dad… never a better time to be fully present with your daughter. Never a better time to remind her how precious and valuable she is. Never a better time to be alert, engaged and protective. Let her know how worthy she is of a father’s love.

Rise up Men!

Alan

E-mail me at Alan@savinginnocence.org if you want to talk about how to get involved or you just have some questions.

 

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End Goal #weddingday

Alan Smyth —  March 13, 2016 — Leave a comment

I met Stu Graff over 30 years ago. He has been a friend and more importantly has done a phenomenal job in raising not one, not two, but three daughters. I felt like I had my hands full raising just one daughter. He is teaching the rest of us how to do it by excelling in raising three.

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Because I am friends with Stu & Tessa, and have known the family over the years, I can personally attest to the grace, beauty, humility, sense of humor and heart to serve in his girls. They have all turned out great and I know Stu is a very proud dad.

This past weekend, Stu reached a milestone. He achieved an end goal of sorts. He gave his oldest daughter away to another man… Stu walked down the isle with Kayla clinging to his arm. He then gave her hand to Derek and after a few words, he watched his daughter walk back down that same isle clinging to her new husband.

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Not that we will ever stop being a parent, but our daughters wedding day is certainly a huge milestone and in some ways an end goal. Every dad dreams of this day and those thoughts are usually filled with a mixture of joy, dread, celebration, fear and maybe a little bit of loss. It’s all about your daughter choosing the right guy. Someone who will love her as much as we do. Someone who will protect and defend our daughter as we would. Someone who will honor her as a precious masterpiece like we do. I know that Stu has welcomed his new son in law to the family and Derek has “passed the test.” Whew…. One down, and two more to go! Congrats Stu, you did a GREAT job!

So here is my question….

How will your daughter know the difference between a frog and a prince?

How will your daughter be able to sniff out a fraud?

How will your daughter be able to know what a great husband should act like?

Being a woman, how will your daughter know what she should expect from a man?

You’ve probably guessed it…. Yep, the answer to all of these questions is YOU. She will see what a real man looks like by watching you. She will be able to tell the difference between authentic and fake by watching you. She will know what to expect from a great husband because of watching you. And she will expect to be treated by men in the way she has watched how you have treated and talked about women.

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The answer is YOU. So, with God’s help, lets rededicate ourselves to being the best version of ourselves that we can. Let’s be the best husband and man we can and let’s circle back with our daughters and invest in a deep way with their lives.

Your future son in law and grandkids could depend on it!

Oh, and work on your dancing skills too!

Alan
PS: Stu was a contributor to our book Prized Possession. Pick up the book using the link below and hear from Stu and others what their strategy was for raising great daughters.

 

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This project exists to empower and encourage Dads who have Daughters. If you are reading this, you are aware of our blog and other resources found at www.myfatherdaughter.com. Make sure you are subscribed to our blog from our website so that you get our posts e-mailed to you. Additionally we have produced a book entitled “Prized Possession” which represents a chorus of voices. In short, it is a road map for how to raise your daughter. Don’t forget our store found on our website where a number of fun T-shirts are for sale to lighten the mood. We also have all the Social Media accounts on Twitter, facebook, Instagram and Periscope which we use to celebrate great dads and share nuggets of wisdom.

One of the most fun and impactful things we do however is deliver a two hour live seminar aimed at Dad’s who have daughters. We call this seminar “Prized Possession” because it loosely follows our book of the same title. We have delivered this seminar to thousands of Dads and it has been very well received each time.

We have produced a brief highlight video of our seminar. Please YouTube Preview Image

 

We would love to be invited into your community and deliver this seminar!

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“Perfect, Amazing, Awesome. You both did an awesome job.”

“I feel empowered leaving here today. Opened my eyes to women’s battles”

Alan

“Enlightening, insightful, great practical advice”

“Thought provoking, informative & eye opening”

Kristy

“Great ideas on how to be a better dad.”

“It was an eye opener to the reality of all the attacks my daughter receives daily.”

Rusty

“I feel more empowered and motivated to be the best father I can be.”

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We have heard feedback like this every time we have held this seminar. Shoot us an e-mail if your church or school wants to book this seminar at: alan@myfatherdaughter.com

We’re here to help!

Alan

 

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A while back, I wrote about “Oversexualization & a Dads Role.” I wrote about the war on our girls launched on them by the media, popular music and the entertainment industry. If you did not see that post, please click HERE to catch yourself up on what I wrote about.

Today, I want to highlight a great role model Dad. One of my main hopes that I maintain as a result of this blog and the book Prized Possession that is available now is that Dads will be inspired to engage in the battle around their daughter. So many Dads are pre occupied and distracted and thereby miss how they are needed to be involved.

I always love it when I see a Dad take action. In THIS ARTICLE, CLICK HERE, a fed up Dad writes an open letter to Victoria Secret. He can’t stand their newest marketing scheme and it is “making him sick.” I wonder if you have the same reaction as his?

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Is the picture above really the picture we want our young girls to aspire to? I promise you this picture does not reflect the actual reality of anything naturally attainable. Lets allow our young girls to be “young girls.”

What actions are needed in the environment around your daughter?

Scare off a knucklehead boy who is hanging around?

Write someone a letter?

Give someone a call?

Become alert, get off your seat and spring into action.

What are YOU going to do?

Bless you today

Alan

We got you covered with some fun gift ideas. Cick the link below.

 

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Post Valentines Thought

Alan Smyth —  February 15, 2016 — 2 Comments

Yesterday was Valentines Day. Or as some of my unmarried friends put it….

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“Single Awareness Day”

I wanted to pass along a brief text conversation between my daughter and I on Valentine’s Day. I certainly didn’t engage in this conversation with Brittany for the sake of this blog. I was simply wishing my daughter a happy Valentine’s Day and then convey a brief related thought. It was her response that made me chuckle and I thought it was worthy of passing along to you all. I must admit that my daughter has been a good sport through all of this. She was happy to participate in the book Prized Possession and enjoys reading this blog. At least “mostly” enjoys.

Below is the text conversation I had with Brittany on Valentine’s Day and then a couple of thoughts.

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Key Points of the TEXT

1. “Happy Valentine’s Day” (wishing her a great day)

2. “Don’t ever forget that I was your FIRST Valentine” (and love) (a little reminder never hurts, especially as she gets older)

3. “Love YOU” (again, a little reminder never hurt)

4. “Make sure dude treats you like a Princess” (she has a “guy her in her life” and I wanted to make sure to remind her that the bar is HIGH)

 5. “Princess” (We acknowledge God as King of the universe and this God thinks of her as “Daughter.” That makes her a “Princess.” A subtle reminder of who my daughter is and WHO’S she is. And to remind her to think of herself in that way.

6.  “I Know Dad” – YES! Success! She knows all of the above.

Questions for you Dads

Have you communicated these truths to your daughter? …lately? ….ever?

Are you certain that she knows these truths?

Ultimately your daughter is going to have to make her own choices and live her own life. But let’s remember that your consistent input will greatly determine the road she travels. Your love and affirmation of your daughter will be a game changer for her and set her up on a great trajectory for life.

Don’t miss out on this guys!

Press On
Alan

 

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