Archives For Alan Smyth

Our Job

Alan Smyth —  January 25, 2016 — Leave a comment

As men, we have lots of jobs. Hopefully we are employed and strive to do a good job at work. Providing for our family is a big job! Creating a happy, healthy home for our kids to exist and grow is an important job. The list could go on and on. Although admittedly, it seems as though our wives are able to manage and multitask far more than we!

Recently I ran across this little blurb. I posted it on our “MyFatherDaughter.com” facebook page because I thought the message was powerful. (btw- have you “liked” our facebook and Instagram page yet to expand this conversation?) It’s a place where we post lots of pictures, this blog and other fun things.

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This picture makes a very simple, yet profound statement that I couldn’t agree with more. This blog usually focusses on our roles with our daughters. But, let’s not for forget that our sons are also growing up in a brutal culture as well. They are the target of an endless assault on authentic manhood. They are given a daily dose of false manhood and asked to comply with shallow standards of selfishness.

Popular, filthy and degrading song lyrics are offering training to our boys for how they should think about and act upon our daughters. At best it is confusing out there for our kids. They are inundated with mixed messages of sexuality and poor messages of what an authentic man is.

The picture above states perfectly what your job #1 is. And it is twofold.

1. Teach your son what a real man is.

2. Teach your daughter to accept nothing less.

You might have guessed it. All of this starts with YOU.

Some questions for you to consider:

What kind of man are you? Where do you get your marching orders? Who do you emulate? What can your son or daughter learn from you regarding how you treat women? What kind of work ethic do they see in you? Do they learn selfishness from you? Do they see you bow to a higher power and a bigger picture?

Be the kind of man that you want your son to grow into and your daughter to marry!

(Hint: that is already happening, like it or not) Our book “Prized Possession” is full of resources to help you on this journey.

Press On
Alan

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New Year’s Resolution

Alan Smyth —  January 4, 2016 — 2 Comments

If you are like me, you are considering some kind of New Year’s resolution right about now. Even though the stats are against us on those who follow through, I can’t help but think about how I want my 2016 to be different. For me, I’d like to lose a few pounds, read a little more, be more focused on a few things and in general, just get better. It is healthy to look back to evaluate and then look forward to improve.

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As you are considering your New Year’s resolutions, I want to pass along some very important information I gleaned from the many interviews I conducted regarding this Father/Daughter project (website/blog/seminar/book)

I contacted dozens of great young women (post teen age) who seemed to turn out awesome and seem to have a great relationship with their Dads. I asked them “What did your dad do?” “What was good?” “What blessed you?” “What impacted you?” Below I am going to relay to you their top three answers.

The things that real girls (who turned out great) said more than anything else were:

  1. My Dad loved and respected my mom.
  2. My Dad had an authentic faith.
  3. My Dad took me on trips/adventures.

The power behind those three statements is that they came straight from the mouths of great girls who succeeded! They are flourishing out in the real world. They have chosen great husbands who love them well and they are strong independent women of faith & family. Who doesn’t want that for their daughters? I realize that this thing called parenting cannot be put into a formula and there is nothing about it that is predictable. At the end of the day, you can do everything “right” and things can still be tough. Your daughter will still have to make her own choices and likely some of those will differ from yours.

But…. And this is a BIG BUT….. Why would we not consider the successes from those who have gone before us on this important/complicated topic? Real girls have said that their dad loving their mom made a huge impact on them. Real girls said that their dad’s authentic faith made a huge impact on them. Real girls said that their dad taking them on trips made a huge impact on them.

This is like the first day of school when the teacher says, “Ok, here is what is going to be on the test. Study this and you will be ok.” My word to you dads out there for 2016 is “Study this, and you will be ok.” Put these three on top of your list for 2016. Stay tuned to this blog in 2016 as we will certainly unpack and address each of these items in greater detail.

Happy New Year!

Alan Smyth

PS: This content appears in much greater detail in Chapter 8 of the book “Prized Possession” entitled “Do This!” The book is available now. Hit the banner below to purchase.

 

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Merry Christmas!

Alan Smyth —  December 25, 2015 — Leave a comment

Merry Christmas!

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

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We wish you a very Merry Christmas
Alan, Kristy & Don

(Your blogging team)

 

As a Christmas gift to you, today only, there is a 50% discount at our store. Hit the banner below.  Enter promo code “JESUS” at check out.

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Easy Bake Oven !!!

Alan Smyth —  December 21, 2015 — Leave a comment

Merry Christmas Season to all. For us parents, this is a magical holiday. The lights, tree, presents and all the hype makes things fun. Depending on how old your daughter is, the “magical” quotient will vary. For those of you with a daughter in the 3-8 age range, Christmas is on steroids. Have fun with it. My kids are 21 & 25 so we have left the truly magical zone.

When Brittany was in the perfect zone for maximum Christmas fun, she opened a gift which elicited a response we still laugh about today. She wanted an “Easy Bake Oven” more than anything else, so of course we got one. When she opened it up and recognized what it was, she exclaimed in the most excited, 5 year old enthusiastic voice imaginable…. “EASY…. BAKE… OVEN!” with her face lit up with emotion. As she ripped open the paper she could hardly contain herself. It was one of those truly magical Christmas moments that we have all enjoyed.

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My Christmas wish and challenge for you this year is to pause and re calibrate to the real purpose of Christmas. Imagine going to a birthday party and passing presents around to all the guests and not actually giving one to the one whose birthday it is. That would seem weird and inappropriate. Yet, that is basically what we do every year. We get time off of work, decorate the house and buy lots of presents all in honor of someone’s birthday. Then, at the crescendo of the holiday, we often pass presents around to one another and ignore the one whose birthday it is.

Let me challenge you to pause with your family, and in some meaningful way, honor Jesus on Christmas. It might sound a bit rudimentary, but I know it is an exercise that is often overlooked. Find a way to say “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. Through the years, we have done it lots of different ways. Many years, my wife made a birthday cake for Jesus. We sang “Happy Birthday” and blew out candles. Often times, we paused to read the Christmas story out of the bible. When the kids were little, we made sure to pause before we opened presents and reminded them what Christmas was actually all about. We did Santa when they were little and we did Jesus always.

I think the best present you could give Jesus this year on His birthday is to pause and meaningfully recognize him at Christmas with your family. It will be a great gift to your daughter to see her Daddy honoring Jesus. And it will be a great gift to Jesus for Him to see you honor Him as well. I can just imagine Jesus responding with the child like enthusiasm that my Brittany did for her Easy Bake Oven at the sight of you giving Him the gift of your honor, respect and recognition this Christmas.

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Today’s Take Away: Make sure you stop and, in some way, say “happy birthday to Jesus” with your kids this Christmas season. It could be a new tradition.

Merry Christmas

Alan

There is still time to get some great last minute Christmas gifts for the Dads in your life! See below!

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Chuck E Cheese & Tears

Alan Smyth —  December 7, 2015 — 4 Comments

Sharon and I just returned from a special lunch in South Central LA. On my way to South Central, I had no idea what this week’s blog was going to be about. After my special lunch at Chuck E Cheese, I had my answer.chuck e cheese3 years ago, we came into relationship with a young teen mom. When her daughter was an infant, we “adopted” her on behalf of our life group at church. That meant we celebrated her birthday, gathered supplies from friends and delivered them to her now and then. As time went on, our relationship grew. Sadly two years ago, we discovered she was pregnant again with a different dad. This broke our heart, but of course did not prevent us from surrounding her with love and support.

At 18, our adopted teen mom now had two kids, no H.S. education, no family to help, welfare dependence, immature and non-existent Baby-Daddy’s, a drug addicted mom and no visible way out of this downward self-perpetuating cycle. When baby #2, was an infant, she approached Sharon and I and asked us if we would be her God Parents. When I asked her why she wanted us to do this, she said that “If something ever happened to me, there is no one else in my life that I can trust with my kids.” So, we agreed to be the God parents of her kids, but we really see our increased role as parent figures to our teen mom as well.

Sharon and I do the best we can to provide guidance and a bit of tangible help. Today we took them all to a Chuck E Cheese for lunch and games. This is a completely unattainable “luxury” for them as she lacks the necessary transportation and money to pull it off. We spent $40 on tokens and exchanged them for $4 worth of trinkets (not a bad business model). It was our pleasure. However, I found myself fighting back tears most of the time.

My tears were connected to just how hard our teen mom’s life is. Her circumstances which she was born into, sent her down a tragic path. Of course she has made some unfortunate choices along the way, but she has had ZERO positive influence, support and role models in her life. She has been mistreated, neglected and even abused. It’s a wonder she is doing as well as she is!

Rosa Fam

I had a brief moment with her at lunch while Sharon was chasing both girls. I looked her in the eye and told her I wanted to say something to her. She got a serious look on her face and listened. I told her that she was a precious masterpiece that God had created. I told her that there have been and will continue to be guys hanging around who don’t value her like that. I told her she was valuable and deserved the very best. I urged her NOT to settle for any guy who was not ready, willing and able to treat her as such. She had a huge smile on her face, nodded her head and in a quiet voice said, “OK.” I then said, “Don’t forget this.” She shook her head.

I am more aware than ever of the important voice we as men have in the lives of younger girls. I am not her biological dad, but I am her functional one. You too have important relationships with young girls who are not your own. You may have a niece, daughter in law, granddaughter, neighbor or friend. You can bless them with strong words of affirmation. Please don’t withhold the blessing you have to others just because you are not blood related.

Press On

Alan Smyth

“Like” this project on Facebook at Myfatherdaughter.com for lots of pictures and conversation around this fun topic.

 

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As the Holidays are upon us, I wanted to suggest a few very practical things to do with your daughter. Typically, both you and your daughter will have a little down time coming up. Thanksgiving is this Thursday and you will likely have a long weekend. Then, Christmas vacay is right around the corner.

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Here are a few suggestions to help take advantage of the extra time you will have with your daughter. Obviously depending on your daughter’s age, you will need to make adjustments.

*Take your daughter out to breakfast or lunch over the holidays. (Do it more than once)

*Sit down and watch one of your daughters TV shows WITH her. Take an interest, ask some questions.

*Sneak into your daughter’s bathroom at night and write a note on her mirror. Tell her something you are proud of her for.

*Take your daughter to a movie over vacation.

*Ask her “If you could do anything at all during your vacation, what would it be?” Then DO IT with her!

*Look at the “written resources” section of our website (www.myfatherdaughter.com) Find the section with the “Father Daughter Scriptures” and read her a new bible verse each day. Then discuss it by saying “what do you think that means?” and “What would change if we lived like we believed it was true?”

*In the “Video Resources” section of our website, show her the “Evolution” video and discuss how most of the beauty projected in the media is NOT real.

*Tell her you are going to start a new tradition called the “Father/Daughter Get away.” Discuss where the two of you are going to go on an overnight trip sometime this coming spring or summer.

This is just a start. Take any of these or make some up on your own. The important thing is that you engage with your daughter somehow, some way. The upcoming month can afford you more of an opportunity to do so.

As Nike said…. “Just Do It”

I’d love to hear about anything you did with your daughter. Share your success with us!

Have an awesome Thanksgiving Holiday with your family!

Press on

Alan Smyth

 

Now that the Holiday season is officially ON, don’t forget to peruse the My Father Daughter Store for some fun items for the Dad’s & Daughters in your life! Hit the banner below to take you to our store!

 

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