Last Monday, I wrote about an encounter I had with a young man who was showing interest in my daughter. As promised, today I will share with you the second half of the story and what happened after my Dark Parking Lot conversation. In case you missed last week click HERE to get caught up.
After I dropped the young man off at his house, he promptly got on the phone to Brittany and retold our conversation. Only, he told her that I said he could not spend time with her anymore. WRONG! That is not what I said. I simply gave him the conditions upon which he could do so. He then said his version of my expectations on their potential physical relationship. He told Brittany, “Your dad said that if I touched you, he’d kill me!”
Brittany responded, “Well, I’m sure he didn’t mean that…”
But the boy interrupted her. “No, he did! And he could, too.”
When Brittany relayed his words to me, I said, “Perfect! Then it looks like we have an understanding. Mission accomplished!”
I have never seen Brittany as mad as she was at that moment, and in the days to come. She was furious that I would step in and put an end to this relationship.
After a few days, when she had cooled off a bit, Brittany came into my bedroom one night as Sharon and I watched TV. During our conversation, I reiterated that this guy was bad news, and that spending time with him was a mistake. She asked me why I couldn’t just let her make her own mistakes.
“Think about what you are asking me to do,” I said. “You are asking me to sit on the bank of a river, and wave at you as you float by on a raft, when all the while I know that just around the river bend is Niagara Falls! You are asking me to smile at you and watch you go over the falls for the sake of letting you make your own mistakes.” I told her that was something I was simply not willing to do, and that it was my job as her dad to defend and protect her whenever possible. In the end, I said, I was willing to have her mad at me now and then if it meant keeping her safe.
My primary goal was not to have her happy with me. My primary goal was her safety. I also reminded her that I did not tell this guy he couldn’t see her again. I simply said that he needed to begin treating her like a princess. “Doesn’t that sound pretty good?” I asked. “Don’t you think you deserve to be treated like a princess?” If my suspicions were correct, we might never see him again, and we would know for sure what his real intentions were.
I’ll let you guess what happened.
PS: This story is told in greater detail in our book “Prized Possession”