I met up recently with a gal in her early 20’s who said the following, “I really wanted a parent in my father, not just a friend”.
These blog posts have focused a lot on the ways you can positively influence, encourage, and build up your daughter with your words, your attitude, and through your actions. That doesn’t mean there will not be hard conversations and some disagreement :). Please note…. you CAN positively influence your daughter in the “not so fun” times of correction, consequences, and hard discussions. In fact, they are necessary to your relationship. And, if you do not step into those conversations – you will be missing some valuable moments.
I was reminded this week of how important correction can be for our daughters, especially from their fathers. I met with a young gal who was given an enormous amount of freedom by her father when she was young. She talked of going to her friend’s house and being jealous – yes she said jealous – that her friend used to get grounded. She would tell her friend that she was lucky – lucky that her dad cared enough to get her in trouble and not just let her get away with anything she wanted. She talked of desperately wanting someone in her life to step in and give her some boundaries and guidance, to help her feel “safe” and cared about. She indicated that if her father had stepped in to the hard places in her life, maybe it would have been a less painful journey.
What a great reminder! What a thing to remember when it seems tough, when our kids don’t seem to respond to our guidance, when it doesn’t “feel good” to provide the necessary and fair consequences to our kids, when it would be easier to ignore the situation than to engage. She may or may not be receptive to your correction right now and she may not thank you for grounding her, but hang in there! She WILL know you care!
Blessings to you as you engage, as you encourage, and as you parent!