Juxtaposition – A Tale of two Dads

Alan Smyth —  August 21, 2017 — 2 Comments

juxtaposition
— noun

“an act or instance of placing close together or side by side, especially for comparison or contrast.”

This past weekend I experienced a dramatic example of a “Juxtaposition”. Two “side by side” experiences which demonstrated a stark contrast.

I ran into “Monica” and she offered that she was 50 years old. The topic of conversation was the “Father / Daughter” relationship. She picked up my book, “Prized Possession” and began to tear up. She then volunteered that “my Dad didn’t love me” and talked further about how wounded she was because of it. We spoke about the seminar that Kristy Fox and I have developed aimed at helping Dads be better Dads.

With a distant and hollow stare and tears in her eyes, she said “Do you ever ask Dads why they don’t step up? Why it’s so hard for them to love their daughters?”  It was clear to me that Monica was hurt and wounded. It was clear to me that at 50, she had not yet recovered from the neglect she had experienced from her Dad. She let me know that she was unemployed. I tried to give her a copy of the book, but she wouldn’t or couldn’t accept it.

Here is the Juxtaposition….

After she left, I opened up my Instagram app and as I scrolled down through the pictures, I saw the following post from Hannah. Hannah is the daughter of my good friend Stu (whom I featured in a recent blog) CLICK HERE to read about Stu & Hannah.

hannah graph

Clearly Stu has been the kind of Dad that Monica wished she had. Clearly Hannah is off to the start that Monica never got, yet deserved.

Here is my point ….

Are you aware that your actions and involvement with your daughter today will last her whole lifetime? She will either coast through life off the blessing you give her or she will struggle through life trying to heal from the wound you leave her.

If you are more like Stu, great job! Way to go! Keep it up!
If you are more like Monica’s Dad, busy, distracted and selfish…. Wake up! Take your eyes off yourself, re engage in your family!

It’s important…. Really, really important for the girls in your life.

Engage Maverick!

Alan

 

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Alan Smyth

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I have been married to Sharon for 33 years. We have two kids, Brittany (29) and Trevor (25) I am the Senior Vice President for Saving Innocence. I have a passion for my family and have learned a few things along the way.

2 responses to Juxtaposition – A Tale of two Dads

  1. Love the juxtaposition. I see myself in both examples. I know there are times when I’ve been attentive to my daughter and others times when I missed it so badly that my daughters could definitely feel like Monica. Your post is a GREAT reminder to keep the main thing in focus. With two teenage daughters (19, 14) this post comes at a perfect time. Thanks!

    • Tom – great to hear from you. Thanks for following and for leaving a comment. I’m guessing you are better than you give yourself credit for, but in any event, being aware of some gaps is a huge step. Way to go!

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