The early history of aviation included lots of trials and errors in
designing and building a functional flying machine. Most of these
early designs failed, sometimes at great cost. These early designers
did not fully understand the Physics of flight. Their designs were
often based on their imagination, their inspiration and their
aspiration. All of these designs were subject to the
same criteria and conditions. In aviation, success and failure are
immediate and obvious, it either flies or it crashes.
There is one kind of Physics that governs airplanes, there is another type
that governs relationships. These Relational Physics determine what flies and what crashes in our most important relationships with one another. Some people design their relationships with great imagination, with great inspiration and with very good aspiration. Sadly many of these relationships still crash. There are Physics at work in how we love, care and connect with one another. Some things set our relationships up to fly, other things set them up to crash. Here are three Rules that govern Relational Physics with your daughter.
Love Comes Before Change. Love in very large and consistent doses has
the power and potential to create Heart felt change. The promise of
love if and when change happens is a form of behavior management. This
kind of “Change” always crashes when you run out of carrots or sticks.
There is no Intimacy without Vulnerability. Extending trust, sharing
your feelings and offering forgiveness will make you vulnerable to hurt,
disappointment and violation. It will also open you and the relationship to a deeper sense of genuine connection.
We can always stay Safe, we can always stay in Control, but these instincts will ground us not launch us.
Vulnerability lets us connect with one another and that let’s us Fly.
Relationships Require Attention and Maintenance. Great relationships
require a level of consistent attention, this is not a matter of
defect but one of design. Relationship and airplanes both defy gravity
which means pilots and parents are facing High Risk/ High Reward
scenarios every day. It is wise and it is good to be attentive in
maintaining something or someone that matters this much.
The Wright Brothers stayed at it until they got airborne. They earned
a place in His-story. You and I can win a place in Her-story. Let’s
Peace and Grace,
Dr. Don Worcester.
To continue the conversation, pick up our book “Prized Possession”
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