Single Forever! And It’s My Dad’s Fault!

Alan Smyth —  July 18, 2016 — 5 Comments

Guest Post by Rachel Karman. Rachel is a good friend & avid blogger about things that matter with a huge heart for the less fortunate. Check out Rachel’s BLOG HERE! You will love the content with always a hint of humor.

Rachel

Read below as she shares about her Dad and paints us a picture for what a great Dad looks like.

Not too long ago I went out on a date with a guy that I felt pretty optimistic about, he seemed nice, fairly normal and from what I’d seen, appeared to have a pretty decent sense of humor. After the date when recapping for a friend I explained, “The night was fine, he was nice and everything….but he didn’t open the door for me, so I don’t think I’ll see him again.” She responded with a laugh, called me the Christian female Seinfeld and told me that perhaps that shouldn’t be a deal breaker. And it hit me. I am going to be single forever. And it’s all my dad’s fault.

Dads out there take note, here are five great ways to ensure your daughter will never say “I do” (at least not to the wrong guy).

#1 My dad is hilarious (but please donʼt tell him, heʼll get a big head). Heʼs great with a pun and also instilled in me at a very young age the importance for me to laugh at life a little and laugh at myself a lot. Not only is my dad quick to laugh at his own mistakes, he has always encouraged me to do the same. For example, when I was roughly 10, my brother and I decided it would be fun to make my parents Valentineʼs cookies, I (being the gourmet chef that I am) accidently used tablespoons instead of teaspoons of both salt and baking soda to make some of the worst tasting cookies youʼve ever had in your life (not to mention a quick way to retain water). My dad, being sweet, ate one and then being honest, laughed and revealed to me my mistake. This is still brought up every holiday (in which I am usually charged with “cooking” the salad or bringing beverages).

#2 My dad is my #1 fan. He truly (although sometimes falsely) believes that I can do anything I set my mind to. Whether softball, choir or running track, my dad was not only always at every event (that I allowed him to be), he actually still believes I can sing (he and my dog are honestly the only ones) and is certain I could have gone further than I did in my softball career (I was and still am afraid of the ball). That encouragement, even if sometimes I think heʼs nuts, has carried into my adult life; in my job, my ministry and even relationships, my dad is one of the first people I go to when I am frustrated and/or want to give up and he is always there to reason with me and remind why I started in the first place. I can honestly say I would have missed out on many opportunities in my life had I listened to my inner voice over his.

#3 My dad is not afraid to tell me when I am wrong (lovingly). One of my favorite examples of this comes from a few years ago, I was in a relationship that was at a bit of a crossroads, I was angry and ready to give up (see #2) and my dad sat me down and explained to me where and how I was being selfish and one-sided. As you can imagine, I was a bit livid and responded with “Youʼre supposed to be on MY SIDE!!” To which he replied, “I am, placating you is not what being on ʻyour sideʼ looks like, Rachel.” Iʼm not sure if you have ever had to knowingly make your 20-something year old daughter angry at you for her betterment, but believe me, itʼs not pretty and itʼs not fun, but it is love.

#4 My dad still opens the door for my mom. He loves her. He supports her. He defends her (even against me, which was much to my chagrin in my bratty, rebellious years). My dad still brings my mom flowers and surprises her with gifts. He calls in the middle of the day to say hello and he genuinely likes spending time with her, even after 30+ years. There aren’t too many words to express the value that this example of a husband is, for a girl at any age, but itʼs huge.

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#5 My dad loves my friends….and they love him. Many of my friends have nicknames for him…which sometimes I think is really weird. He is funny and approachable and unafraid to have tough conversations with people, while also knowing and respecting when not to. Iʼll be honest, I didnʼt always love this quality (see bratty, rebellious years mentioned in #4), but it is now one I strive to possess and one I greatly value in other people. I think he’d also appreciate me saying that he doesn’t try to be the “cool dad,” yet somehow became that when he began wearing Airwalks when I was in Jr. High and has held the reputation since….which again, I find sort of weird.

Above all these things, the greatest way that my dad has loved me and created gigantic shoes for any guy to fill is that he loves Jesus more than he loves me, my mom or my brother and has modeled that for me my whole life. He has always encouraged me to find Christ in all things, even when it was difficult. In each of the aforementioned facets he brings them to the table with the light and love of our Savior in a way that is confident, steadfast and gentle, much like Jesus himself. He is an excellent example of why the father-figure role is so important and how new dads can treat their daughters, as he’s remained present, not perfect.

All that being said, perhaps the next time I’m at a wedding/family reunion/grocery store/ etc and someone inquires as to ʻwhy Iʼm still singleʼ I will pull out a picture of my dad (and thus insure I will probably never date again because that would be creepy and strange….but you get the point).

Rachel Karman

 

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Alan Smyth

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I have been married to Sharon for 29 years. We have two kids, Brittany (25) and Trevor (21) I have been a Young Life leader for over 30 years and currently serve as the Regional Director for Young Life in Los Angeles. I have a passion for my family and have learned a few things along the way.

5 responses to Single Forever! And It’s My Dad’s Fault!

  1. Annette Morrison June 30, 2014 at 11:43 am

    Rachey, I’m all Vehclempt! That was so beautiful.

  2. So sweet! Father-daughter relationships are precious. It’s amazing how much a man can influence his little girl. You’ve pretty much described my relationship with my dad & it’s probably the reason it did take me so long to find Mr. Right. (& why my older sister still hasn’t). He was/is pretty much perfect in our eyes! I’m sure the guy you mentioned seeing in your article just wasn’t the one for you, but if you are interested in marriage, it is important not to nitpick & to overlook some of the minor things. I’m so glad I did & ended up with a great husband & father to our own little girl (which is starting the cycle all over again– another precious father/daughter relationship!)

  3. Jenny Dickson May 25, 2015 at 7:52 am

    Wonderful!!!!

  4. Ruth l. Becker May 25, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    Rachel, Hi girl, you do not personally know me, but we are family. Your grandfather, Don is my first cousin. We grew up as kids together. In our whole family LOVE has been very present. I did not have that relationship with my real dad, but I had much LOVE with my stepdad who came into my life at the age of thirteen. I loved this man so much that I named my first son after him. A dad’s love is so important in a child’s life and I thank God the He sent our step dad into our lives when we all needed him so much. My mom is the one related to your dad. Your Great Grand father (that you never knew was my Uncle John and my Mom’s only brother. He was such a great uncle. I remember him and can still hear his voice. You come from a very long line of people who love God and family. You are well blessed and I pray that you also find the LOVE of your life, because he is out there. Don’t give up on love, but as God to send you a man that will love you as much as your dad does, I did and I found my Mr. Right at last. Love you Cuz

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