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Below is an analogy I have used in various seminars with young girls, but I think holds meaning for all of us.  

Long ago, I heard an analogy about a dollar bill ( I wish  could credit someone – but I have no idea where I heard it). How much is a dollar worth?  Obviously $1 (I know some of you are dying to insert comments about economy here :).   Who assigns the dollar bill its value? The US Government/Treasury does.  Why? Because they made it, and the maker determines the value…..period.   

No matter what you do to the dollar bill—you can wad it up, step on it, fold it up, or even spit on it—it is still worth a dollar, because the maker says so. We can be mistreated, treated unkindly, disrespected, felt like we have been stepped on, wadded up, or even thrown away…but our value never changes in the eyes of our Maker. We are valuable, not because of what we look like, what we do, or what others may say or not say. We are valuable because GOD has declared us so!

This could be a great visual to share with your daughter some time when perhaps the world around her is causing her to doubt her sense of value and worth.  We as parents can be a voice in their ear about their true value.    So many young people get so desperate to feel worth something and feel valuable and loved that they can look to the wrong places (clothes, sports, stuff, accomplishments, relationships).  And, while I think it’s positive to encourage and affirm our kids in good stuff, that shouldn’t define them…..or us.   We should find value in ourselves and in others simply because the Creator has declared it –  and proved that He meant it!

What if we modeled for our kids that we really believe that we too are valuable because of Him—because we bear the stamp of the Creator, and not because of anything else (not our successes, our status, our reputation, our finances, our “good deeds”, etc) ?   He has declared our value, and we can be set free from feelings of worthlessness and the need to “prove ourselves”!  What is truly beautiful is His reflection in us! 

When we are confident of our own value and worth in the eyes of our Creator, we can be freed up to really love others with no baggage attached!   A lesson for our girls – and for us. 

–          Kristy Fox

 

PS – this is partly from a book coming out soon by Alan Smyth called Prize Possession in which there is a chapter on a seminar I have led for hundreds of teenage girls around this topic

Celebrate each moment

kristyfox —  December 26, 2012 — Leave a comment

 jesus

I love the Christmas season – I now begin the countdown to next year!  

This year as I looked at the Christmas ornaments we put on the tree, I realized just how fast my little ones are growing. I realized this was the first year of no family picture with Santa Clause.   My daughter didn’t ask for a doll this year, or any toys… she wanted perfume and tickets to a concert instead.   We still enjoy the surprises and fun in Christmas – but it definitely feels like we are moving from one stage of life to the next.

As I was thinking about time going by so quickly, I read the following prayer from a book I had in my bookshelf titled “Praying the Bible for Your Baby” by Heather Kopp.   It’s been a long time since we’ve had a baby in our home, but I guess I am a bit sentimental. :)

This is the prayer – “I Blinked, and She Changed!” from that book

“Heavenly Father, wasn’t it just last week that I brought Baby home from the hospital, dwarfed in an oversized sleeper?  Wasn’t it yesterday that she pursed her lips and smiled at me for the first time?  I remember the first time she turned her head toward me and smiled when I came into the room…

She’s growing so fast – too fast, Lord!  She’s changing, and I’ll never have these moments back.

Your Word reminds me that life is a mist, a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes (James 4:14).  And You say that there is a time for everytihng in our lives (Eccles. 3:1).  But oh how I wish these times with (my little one) could last and last!

Help me to be like Mary, who saved up all her moments with Baby Jesus and later savored them lovingly (Luke 2:9).  Teach me Mary’s wisdom – to gather well and ponder well my (little one’s) gifts!…… Teach me, Lord, to save and celebrate with a grateful heart every moment!

Amen.”

Sometimes I can rush through the day and miss the magic moments in each and every day.   I don’t want to just “get through” the day – I want to learn to celebrate and be grateful for every moment and every stage of my kids’ lives. 

Thank you Lord for the precious gift of our little ones, help us learn to slow down and celebrate the gifts you have entrusted to us.

Kristy Fox

 

Does your daughter know she is a masterpiece? 

Here are some stats:

–  It is estimated that 50% of 4th grade girls have been on a diet

–  Dove reports that 90% of women 15-64 worldwide want to change at least 1 aspect of physical appearance with body weight being the highest

–  67% – 2/3 of women withdraw from engaging in life activities because they feel bad about themselves.   Apparently, more than half of us women don’t do things because we don’t like who we are!

Some women and girls around you may not be living fully because they may be paralyzed by their thoughts and held captive by their insecurities and negative self-talk. We compare ourselves to the ‘standard’ or ‘ideal’ that the world around us has set and when we don’t fit that mold we lose confidence, we doubt ourselves, and we don’t live out who we were created to be.  Insecurity has become a silent killer of girls and even older women today.

When we listen to the world around us and not God or others in our life who value us, it is easy to start seeing ourselves for less than what we are and less than what God made us to be, a masterpiece!  

 We are no accident. We are wonderfully made, what a concept!  This is a starting point. Many girls have never thought of themselves as a masterpiece, as a work of beauty, or even as valuable at all.  Their value has been in their accomplishments, their performance, or in the superficial. 

2 Ways to Remind Your Daughter That She is a Masterpiece:

1)   Read the following verse to your daughter, print it out and give it to her, memorize it together, or think of a different way to share this verse with her:   Ephesians 2:10 (For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.)

2)   Download the song from itunes called “You’re Mine” by Carly Escoto for yourself and also for your daughter.   Powerful, and great music to be playing in your daughter’s ears.

Assuming you are a dad reading this, I appreciate and thank you for being willing to be a positive voice in the life of your daughter – she listens to you more than you know! 

Kristy Fox

 

 

A Free Thanksgiving Gift !

kristyfox —  November 21, 2012 — Leave a comment

 

I have recently been in multiple conversations with young women and have been struck by their need for affirmation to come from the male figures in their life.   So many girls try hard to earn the affirmation of their fathers.    And, many girls never feel like they can live up to their father’s expectations or feel like they can “get it right”.  My husband is a coach and he heard a recent statistic  – a kid needs 10 positives for every negative thing said.   Not sure about you, but my ratio isn’t always that good.  

I think we tend to assume people know we are thankful for them or that we appreciate things they do, but we need to actually tell them!

It got me thinking… I hold back words of affirmation and thanksgiving too often.   I tend to be critical far more than I am thankful and affirming.   I tend to assume people know I appreciate them but I often don’t say it.   I should give life giving words far more freely.  Dads, I implore you to do the same.   You have life-giving words for your daughter within you that often go unspoken.  Please know that she is craving those.   It may be uncomfortable for you – that’s ok, please still try it – typically the best things we do are a bit uncomfortable at first!

In some of the girl’s groups I have been a part of we have passed around papers with someone’s name on it.  We then pass these around and everyone writes words of thanks and affirmations on the paper for that person.  Girls have shown me papers they have saved for years and that they treasure!  How cool would that be for them to have something like that from their dad?  Something that can remind them of the love you have for them, something they can treasure and pull out when they need it, something that can remind them of how they should be treated by a future spouse or boyfriend.  

It’s possible that the best gifts we have for one another don’t cost us anything!

Here’s the idea:

–          Write a list of 10 specific things you are thankful for about your daughter (if she is too little to read, write it anyway and put it in a box for her so she can read them when she’s older )and put the list somewhere she will see it on Thanksgiving – her mirror, her dinner plate, her door, etc!

 Stop.  Grab a piece of paper right now.   And do it! 

2 Minutes of your time could be a life-long treasure for your daughter!

 

Kristy Fox