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Apparently Jada Pinkett Smith is working on a documentary focused on Human Trafficking. I ran across a home-made video made by Jada after her first day on the job. It appeared to be late at night and she was simply talking into a personal camera or maybe a computer. She seemed to be deeply affected by what she had experienced that day.

In the process of doing some research she visited a post Human Trafficking treatment center. She sat with young girls who had recently been rescued from this hideous experience and was blown away by who she met and what she heard.

Jada

Here is a screen shot of Jada as she searches for the words to describe what she had experienced that day.

During this VLOG that Jada Pinkett Smith recorded, she recounted these words from a young woman who had recently been freed from the Human Trafficking trade.

“Manipulating men into giving you money for your body is ok because of what the music tells us. It’s almost expected”

Wow, can you believe that a young girl, recently out of sex trafficking said this about the music she heard?

I wonder if you are aware of what the hip hop/rap scene is teaching our kids? Are you aware of how these “artists” are talking about our daughters? Are you aware of the training they are providing for our boys?

I will not reprint the vulgar, dehumanizing, disgusting and degrading song lyrics here which are typical of the hip hop/rap music culture. You will have to take my word for it. Or, if you are feeling particularly curious or adventurous, google “Degrading song lyrics about women” and see what comes up. You can also search for song lyrics from the likes of “Dr. Dre”, “Lil Wayne”, “Cadillac Don”, “Ja Rule” and the infamous “Eminem.” “Eminem” has actually taken it a bit farther and infused a strong element of violence against women in many of his songs.

By the sounds of this music, you would think these guys regard our daughters as nothing more than disposable garbage.

Of course not everyone who listens to this music is as tragically affected as the young girl that Jada met. But studies show that such lyrics are certainly a negative influence which should be monitored by engaged parents.

Am I somehow crusading AGAINST a particular type of music or artist? NO! I am crusading FOR engaged, caring parents who are aware of the environment their kids are growing up in.

One side note: Thinking you can simply say “we don’t allow that music” will keep it away from your kids would be incorrect. It is everywhere and it’s impossible to control short of moving to a cave in the mountains.

The key is YOU being engaged, aware, caring and involved with your kids so you can interpret, shield and protect. Enter in conversation about these and other important topics.

Stand up Men. Your daughter needs you. Your son too!

Press On
Alan

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Our book Prized Possession goes into great detail on what I call “The Assault on our Girls.” You can pick up our book by hitting the link below.

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Are you in a difficult season with your daughter? Maybe don’t know where to begin? Want to listen, be engaged, and invest, but you can’t seem to find the words or the space?

We surveyed teenage girls and my conversations with young women recently have echoed some of the exact same sentiments. As much as they may push you away, they want you involved!

From the mouths of girls themselves……

I wish my dad knew:

“How much I love him” and

“I’m not as tough as he might think”

 

Underneath it all – your daughters love you and they know they can push, but they need you to stay the course and keep moving forward. They want you involved even though their actions may not always show it. And, you must want to grow, or you probably wouldn’t be reading this blog.

So, where to start?

3 Phrases to use more often:

“I love you”

“Thank you”

“I’m sorry”

As I talk to girls of all ages these 3 things always tend to come up. The power of these 3 phrases is incredible, especially from fathers!  I have had multiple girls echo the need to hear each of these phrases more than they do. As I see this list I know I too need to use each of these more than I do. I need to let people know with words, not just actions that I love them. I need to say “thank you” more often for everything – people in my life should know that I appreciate them and things they do (even the little things that may seem commonplace or expected). And, I need to say “I’m sorry”. The simple words “I’m sorry” can be healing, restoring, and a salve for the wounds of the heart.

Try using these 3 phrases with your daughters this week more than normal and let us know how it goes!

Kristy Fox

We can help you with Father’s Day! Hit the links below for great gifts!

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Does your daughter know she is a masterpiece? 

Here are some stats:

–  It is estimated that 50% of 4th grade girls have been on a diet

–  Dove reports that 90% of women 15-64 worldwide want to change at least 1 aspect of physical appearance with body weight being the highest

–  67% – 2/3 of women withdraw from engaging in life activities because they feel bad about themselves.   Apparently, more than half of us women don’t do things because we don’t like who we are!

Some women and girls around you may not be living fully because they may be paralyzed by their thoughts and held captive by their insecurities and negative self-talk. We compare ourselves to the ‘standard’ or ‘ideal’ that the world around us has set and when we don’t fit that mold we lose confidence, we doubt ourselves, and we don’t live out who we were created to be.  Insecurity has become a silent killer of girls and even older women today.

When we listen to the world around us and not God or others in our life who value us, it is easy to start seeing ourselves for less than what we are and less than what God made us to be, a masterpiece!  

 We are no accident. We are wonderfully made, what a concept!  This is a starting point. Many girls have never thought of themselves as a masterpiece, as a work of beauty, or even as valuable at all.  Their value has been in their accomplishments, their performance, or in the superficial. 

2 Ways to Remind Your Daughter That She is a Masterpiece:

1)   Read the following verse to your daughter, print it out and give it to her, memorize it together, or think of a different way to share this verse with her:   Ephesians 2:10 (For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.)

2)   Download the song from itunes called “You’re Mine” by Carly Escoto for yourself and also for your daughter.   Powerful, and great music to be playing in your daughter’s ears.

Assuming you are a dad reading this, I appreciate and thank you for being willing to be a positive voice in the life of your daughter – she listens to you more than you know! 

Kristy Fox

 

 

From Their Perspective

kristyfox —  October 31, 2012 — Leave a comment

My desire as I post these blogs is to be a liaison between girls and the adults who care about them.  Just because I am a girl myself, I don’t claim to understand our entire gender, nor do I want to oversimplify.  However, I have spent a lot of time listening and many of the same themes continue to resurface with girls of all ages.  I would love to pass along things I am learning from girls themselves on my Wednesday posts.

We asked the question “What do you need most from your dad?” to groups of adolescent girls.

One of the most recurrent answers was the word “support”.   As much as we may all know that the girls in our lives need our support, it is not always easy to figure out what that means and how to do it well.  I want to challenge you this week to practice seeing the world through the eyes of the young girl in your life. Understanding is half of the battle as we seek to support someone – if we can seek to understand others’ perspectives – support comes far more naturally!   I think you’ll also get a pretty clear picture of just how much the girl in your life really does need you.

Another direct quote from the same question was: I need him “To love me, to not compare me to others”.  Imagine the relationship you have with them being one where they did not feel like they were compared against anyone else.   If you watched the above video, you will note that very possibly it may be the only relationship which feels like that to her in a world full of comparison.   What a gift!   What a way to support her!

 

4 simple things you can do today to help see things from her perspective and support her:

1) Pay attention to the “world” your daughter lives in and try to see it from her perspective.   Look at the billboards you pass, the magazines you see, the tv shows with young teenage girls, listen to the song lyrics found on your most popular “top 40” radio station and check out MTV to get an idea of the pressure surrounding her.

2)Watch this 1 minute video

3) Tell her things you love about her – things that make her uniquely her

4) Listen.   Engage your daughter in a conversation and spend time asking questions and just listening (hint to husbands: girls of any age feel supported when they someone listens to them and hears them– this goes for wives too)

 

Blessings to you as you seek to be a support to the girls in your life!

Kristy Fox