Archives For December 2014

How to Spot a Counterfeit

kristyfox —  December 31, 2014 — Leave a comment

counterfeit

My daughter and I love to go treasure hunting at garage sales and Goodwill stores – especially for books! I was at Goodwill and came across a book titled Why a Daughter Needs A Dad – 100 Reasons. Since the subject is one I am interacting with a lot, I picked it up. One of the quotes stuck out as I looked through the book, it said “A DAUGHTER NEEDS A DAD to show her how it feels to be loved unselfishly”.

That is a profound statement. Not many people she encounters will love her unselfishly and we want better for our girls don’t we? We want them to experience real, genuine, unselfish love in their relationships.

Someone shared with me that to train bank tellers to recognize a counterfeit that they educate them on the fake by having them handle the “real thing” over and over again. The bank teller becomes so familiar with the look and feel of the real money that when a fake crosses their path, it is spotted immediately. The “real thing” becomes the standard and when something doesn’t measure up, a flag goes up and alarms are sounded!

Dads – you are an example of the “real thing” to your girls. God allows you to show them real, unselfish, tender, compassionate, genuine, forgiving, honest love. You get to show them how it feels, what to look for, and what to expect. You get to help them spot a counterfeit when they see it come around and they will know not to accept it.  Hopefully when they come in contact with counterfeit “love” and selfish intentions, the flags will go up and the alarms will sound.

It may not seem like your daughter listens to your words sometimes, but they are paying attention – and you are educating them in what to look for in their future relationships as you provide the real thing for them!

Thank you for making a difference!

Kristy Fox

 

Does your daughter know she is a masterpiece?

Here are some stats:

– It is estimated that 50% of 4th grade girls have been on a diet

– Dove reports that 90% of women 15-64 worldwide want to change at least 1 aspect of physical appearance with body weight being the highest

– 67% – 2/3 of women withdraw from engaging in life activities because they feel bad about themselves. Apparently, more than half of us women don’t do things because we don’t like who we are!

Some women and girls around you may not be living fully because they may be paralyzed by their thoughts and held captive by their insecurities and negative self-talk. We compare ourselves to the ‘standard’ or ‘ideal’ that the world around us has set and when we don’t fit that mold we lose confidence, we doubt ourselves, and we don’t live out who we were created to be. Insecurity has become a silent killer of girls and even older women today.

When we listen to the world around us and not God or others in our life who value us, it is easy to start seeing ourselves for less than what we are and less than what God made us to be, a masterpiece!

We are no accident. We are wonderfully made, what a concept! This is a starting point. Many girls have never thought of themselves as a masterpiece, as a work of beauty, or even as valuable at all. Their value has been in their accomplishments, their performance, or in the superficial.

2 Ways to Remind Your Daughter That She is a Masterpiece:

1) Read the following verse to your daughter, print it out and give it to her, memorize it together, or think of a different way to share this verse with her: Ephesians 2:10 (For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.)

2) Download the song from itunes called “You’re Mine” by Carly Escoto for yourself and also for your daughter. Powerful, and great music to be playing in your daughter’s ears.

Assuming you are a dad reading this, I appreciate and thank you for being willing to be a positive voice in the life of your daughter – she listens to you more than you know!

Kristy Fox

 

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Last February, I wrote a funny little blog regarding the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter.” It received so much interest, that a ton of Dads started asking for a shirt depicting those 10 Rules. So, for fun, I made a small quantity of those shirts and announced them in an APRIL 1 blog – CLICK HERE TO READ.

The picture ended up going viral on Father’s Day. Since that time, it has been shipped to over 58 countries and my wife now has a little internet business where she sells these shirts to anyone who wants one. It has been fun to see Dads everywhere rally around the concept of protecting their daughter. This shirt has brought Dads further into this important conversation.

People started asking about the “next shirt” and so we came up with the perfect companion shirt. Every dad who bought the “Rules” shirt will also want to pick up this shirt entitled “5 Things you should know about my Dad.” This is a shirt for your Daughter. Think of the two of you wearing these shirts out together! It will be a real conversation piece.

front Wear your shirts together!

Reese

 

On the front it says “Daddy’s Girl” and on the back it lists the “5 Things you should know about my Dad.”

  1. He is a former MMA Champ (Yeah, right!)
  2. He is an excellent Marksman (Probably not)
  3. He has a shovel and a backyard (Maybe)
  4. He has anger issues (hopefully not, but he doesn’t t need to know that)
  5. I am his princess (FOR SURE)

shoulders

Helm and nate

This, all on a pink shirt, cut perfectly for girls and available in small sizes. If you want a closer look at the shirt, or you already know you have to have this shirt, visit the online store found at.

www.myfatherdaughter.com

Back

 

Let’s keep this important conversation alive as we wear our Father/Daughter T-shirts.  And let’s not confuse the strategy here. It’s not about the shirt and it’s not about the few bucks being made on production. It’s about bringing Dad’s closer into the conversation about being better Dads to their daughters. It’s about gaining more followers to the blog and inspiring Dads to be better for the sake of our girls.

Enjoy

Alan & Sharon Smyth

If you act quickly, there should be enough time for a Christmas delivery!
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I love this time of year and especially the gap between Thanksgiving and Christmas, a time to pause and remind ourselves how very much we have to be thankful for. What if we challenge ourselves to pause and remind ourselves how thankful we are for our kids, and also take time to remind them of the things we are so thankful for about them.

I think we tend to assume people know we are thankful for them or that we appreciate things they do, but we need to actually tell them! I had a friend come home from a memorial service just last week and tell me how she wished she would have said those things to her father-in-law while he was still alive. She asked he question – why do we hesitate to share with people why we are so thankful for them?

So many girls try so hard to earn the affirmation of their fathers, and many girls never feel like they can live up to their father’s expectations or feel like they can “get it right”. My husband is a coach and he shares the recent statistic – a kid needs 10 positives for every negative thing said. Not sure about you, but my ratio isn’t always that good with my kids. Dads, you have life-giving words for your daughter within you that often go unspoken. Please know that she is craving those. It may be uncomfortable for you – that’s ok, please still try it – typically the best things we do are a bit uncomfortable at first!

In some of the girl’s groups I have been a part of we have passed around papers with someone’s name on it. We then pass these around and everyone writes words of thanks and affirmations on the paper for that person. Girls have shown me papers they have saved for years and that they treasure! How cool would that be for them to have something like that from their dad? Something that can remind them of the love you have for them, something they can treasure and pull out when they need it, something that can remind them of how they should be treated by a future spouse or boyfriend.

It’s possible that the best gifts we have for one another don’t cost us anything!

Here’s the idea:

– Write a list of 10 specific things you are thankful for about your daughter (if she is too little to read, write it anyway and put it in a box for her so she can read them when she’s older )and put the list somewhere she will see it – her mirror, her dinner plate, her door, etc!

Stop. Grab a piece of paper right now. And do it!

2 Minutes of your time could be a life-long treasure for your daughter!

Thanks for leaning in,

Kristy Fox

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(contents of our shirts are protected under applicable copyright laws)

A Good Dad

Dr. Don Worcester —  December 5, 2014 — Leave a comment

I was blessed to marry a woman raised by great parents. Her dad has now retired from a few things in his life, but never from being a loving father to his little girl. The words that follow are from Renee about her life and her dad.

 

God is a loving father. 

I think this is a truth that the enemy tries to attack in our little girl’s heart.  We are born into families that have brokenness and sin.  We are given fathers and mothers that are giving it their best shot, at least most of them.  But even on our best day, we fall short, we get it wrong, we miss it. 

And the Lord is still a loving Father. 

I know that having a dad who loved me and saw the best version of me, gave me a confidence that I could walk into a room and make a contribution.  He also told me that  “it would be better in the morning” and most the time it was. He looked hard at the young men who pursued me, he eventually learned their names if they showed a little courage and staying power. He told me that I was capable and gifted.  He told me the truth when I was making poor decisions. He reminded me not to sweat the small stuff. Then he reminded me that it was “all small stuff “. On my wedding day he told me that I was beautiful, before I put the dress on.

 I had a father that kept showing up at every stage. He nudged me, reminded me, cheered me, consoled me, and pointed me to a bigger and better life not yet fully visible to me. He gave me an amazing picture of God the Father.  He is a good man not a perfect man and he has continued to show up as a dad in my adult life. There was a significant event that came years after I left my parents home. It was an unexpected and unscripted exchange that neither of us planned but both of us needed.

See, I had secrets that my dad didn’t know.  In my adult life, I came to realize that I needed and wanted to confess this hidden brokenness and sin to my father.  And in a fragile moment I sat across the table in a restaurant and asked if there was any way he could forgive me? I had believed a lie that there was no way I could be forgiven.  As our eyes were filled to the brim with tears, time stood still for just a moment.  Then he said he forgave me.  And then he did the unexpected, he asked for forgiveness  from me, for not protecting me.  And I forgave him. 

Because he had been forgiven by Christ, he took on the posture of serving me.  Because he was still my father, he took on the posture of loving me.   I received a tremendous gift that day.  I was reconciled to the truth that God is a loving father.  I am thankful for my earthly father. He continues to paint a picture that points beyond himself to the true source of love, grace, mercy and truth. My dad is a good guy; I want him around for a long time to come. Great relationships don’t expire or wear out. They grow, change and develop. Keep loving your “little girl” it will always matter.

Unknown

 

No matter the stage or the age of our daughters, lets keep showing up!

 

Dr. Don Worcester

Grace and Peace

Christmas is around the corner. Fun and meaningful gifts right here!

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Show and Tell

kristyfox —  December 3, 2014 — Leave a comment

water-pressure-imageAre you feeling it too? Do you feel the increased pressure on your kids, on your family? Some things may seem easier for this generation, true. However, there is an enormous amount of pressure and stress on our young people and our families as well, and I think we need to be very aware of it so that we can not just figure out how to survive, but learn to thrive! I am not saying that I have figured this out as a parent. I am saying that it keeps coming up as I spend time with young people.

I have spent a lot of time with high school students and the same theme keeps coming up. As I have been talking with students about what seems to keep them from their relationship with God and from pursuing Him like they want to – their answer may surprise you. For many students it may be a desire to do their own thing (an answer we may think of as “typical” teenager answer), but for most their answer is typically …. “time”. When I press them on what exactly they mean by that answer, many students are really candid. They acknowledge that they have “time” but have a hard time prioritizing with the other good things that seem and feel more important at the time. I don’ think this is a new issue – but I do think there is a lot more pressure to be “the best”, to be “well-rounded”, to be “enough” to get into college, to find a job, to make the school team and even to get the attention of their busy parents.

Students and families seem to have less available time for things like church, family time, friends, rest, fun, service (for the sake of doing something good and not to put on an application), meals together, and pursuit of faith.

Let’s slow down. Let’s figure out how to tell and also show our kids what it looks like to have “time” for the important things in life. I am not always a good example of how that should look, but I want to be. What about you?

Show and Tell Logo

Kristy Fox

 

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