I have recently been in multiple conversations with young women and have been struck by their need for affirmation to come from the male figures in their life. So many girls try hard to earn the affirmation of their fathers. And, many girls never feel like they can live up to their father’s expectations or feel like they can “get it right”. My husband is a coach and he heard a recent statistic – a kid needs 10 positives for every negative thing said. Not sure about you, but my ratio isn’t always that good.
I think we tend to assume people know we are thankful for them or that we appreciate things they do, but we need to actually tell them!
It got me thinking… I hold back words of affirmation and thanksgiving too often. I tend to be critical far more than I am thankful and affirming. I tend to assume people know I appreciate them but I often don’t say it. I should give life giving words far more freely. Dads, I implore you to do the same. You have life-giving words for your daughter within you that often go unspoken. Please know that she is craving those. It may be uncomfortable for you – that’s ok, please still try it – typically the best things we do are a bit uncomfortable at first!
In some of the girl’s groups I have been a part of we have passed around papers with someone’s name on it. We then pass these around and everyone writes words of thanks and affirmations on the paper for that person. Girls have shown me papers they have saved for years and that they treasure! How cool would that be for them to have something like that from their dad? Something that can remind them of the love you have for them, something they can treasure and pull out when they need it, something that can remind them of how they should be treated by a future spouse or boyfriend.
It’s possible that the best gifts we have for one another don’t cost us anything!
Here’s the idea:
– Write a list of 10 specific things you are thankful for about your daughter (if she is too little to read, write it anyway and put it in a box for her so she can read them when she’s older )and put the list somewhere she will see it on Thanksgiving – her mirror, her dinner plate, her door, etc!
Stop. Grab a piece of paper right now. And do it!
2 Minutes of your time could be a life-long treasure for your daughter!