Archives For My FD Blog

 

 

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My oldest daughter just returned from France. She was part of a

Language Exchange program. She brought back the Eiffel Tower, on a

Keychain.

There are only two ways to make an Eiffel Tower Keychain

1) Find a very large Keychain

2) Make a very small Eiffel Tower.

My daughter went with option # 2.

It’s a cool Keychain and a sweet gift but at that size it should be called an

Eiffel Miniature not an Eiffel Tower.

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Big things lose something when

you put them on a Keychain.

Love is a Big Thing, a really Big Thing.

It doesn’t really fit on a keychain.

It doesn’t belong there.

What kind of love are you carrying?

 

If the love in your life is not constraining you from false comforts

and harmful habits, it’s probably Keychain Love

 

If your love is not compelling you into places that are uncomfortable,

inconvenient and costly, it may be Keychain Love.

 

If you are not moving out of selfish behavior and into serving

behavior, it could be Keychain Love.

 

If you are avoiding hard truths to keep everyone happy, to keep the

peace, even a “false peace”, it might be Keychain Love

 

If you spend more time confronting than confessing

 

If you would rather win the argument than the relationship

 

If you think that Point of all discussions, is to make your Point

 

If you have built a reputation with your abilities

while hiding and denying your vulnerabilities

 

You might have drifted into Keychain Love.

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I John 4:8 tells us that God is Love and you will not find Him at the

end of a Keychain.

 

Are we letting God grow our hearts bigger?

 

Are we praying for more love or are we shrinking our relationships to

Keychain Size?

 

Our daughters want and need more than a “souvenir relationship” with us.

Let’s break out the Big Love,

the Bold Love,

the Crazy Good Love.

The kind that will never fit

on the end of a Keychain!

 

Grace & Peace,

Dr. don Worcester

 

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I recently had a great conversation with a friend regarding the title of our book, “Prized Possession.” Without yet reading the book, he offered that the title “rubbed him the wrong way.” He went on to describe how he sees his daughter as much more than a “thing” ie. A “possession.” To which I said “ABSOLUTLY.” I happened to have a copy of the book handy and I directed him to a few key parts in the book which I will now direct you to.

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From an opening page of the book:

“Prized Possession” from the Bible

“And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession”

James 1:18b, NLT

Prized Possession from the Dictionary:

 “The biggest thing in your life, the one thing you couldn’t imagine your life without”

“Something you care for deeply above all else”

“It could be anything you cherish close to your own heart and can be worth millions or worth nothing to someone else”

Excerpt from Chapter 2

When I think of the word “possession,” I do not think of it as an inappropriate, overbearing, “possessive” ownership that isn’t healthy. Rather, I think of possession in a loving, protective way that defines my place and role in Brittany’s life, and hers in mine. “Prized Possession” is one that I hold above all else and cherish with all of my heart. It’s a treasure with deep, intrinsic value. After all, Brittany is “mine,” because God saw fit to entrust her to me as her dad. She is my responsibility and my daughter, and I would defend and protect her to the death.

Excerpt from Chapter 8 (written by my daughter)

“What are you?”

“Prized Possession!”

“And…”

“Don’t you forget it!”

When I consider the woman I am today, I realize that this small conversation played an integral part in shaping me into the person I am right now. These four lines represent a life-long conversation that has taken place between my dad and me. I never realized how powerful these words were or how lucky I was to hear them on a regular basis. My dad began this conversation before I could speak in complete sentences or comprehend what meaning it carried. These words were some of the first words added to my lexicon. To this day, there is only one answer when my dad asks the simple question, “What are you?” Without any hesitation I reply, “Prized possession.” “And…” “Don’t you forget it!” It’s second nature. It’s who I am. It’s who I will always be.

My friend came back to me, gave me a hug and said, “I get it.”

I wanted to relay this experience in case any of you had the same question. Obviously the book goes into much more explanation, but this should get you started.

I’d love to know what you thought about the book after you’ve had a chance to read it. Praying it makes a difference for many. Could be a great “Fathers’s Day” gift.

 

Bless you

Alan Smyth

Click the banner below if you want to buy our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and e-book.

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Seldom do we receive bold clarity on any topic. Seldom is something as boldly clear as the marching orders we receive from the text below. In light of this Father/Daughter project that we have launched, a friend sent me this e-mail a few days ago. She thought I might be interested in this short conversation between a mom and a daughter.

Below is the e-mail I received

Hi Alan,

Yesterday I was talking to a friend who has a seven-year-old daughter. The little girl had been at school yesterday and a boy in her class told her she was ugly. When she got home that night, her mom was talking to her about it.

Mom: Did it make you feel sad?

Little Girl: No

Mom: Did it make you feel mad?

Little Girl: No

Mom: How did it make you feel?

Little Girl: It didn’t really make me feel anything because I knew it was a lie. Daddy always tells me that I am beautiful and precious both inside and out. So I knew what he was saying wasn’t true.

WOW!

She was right. I LOVE IT. It is a picture of the results we should all be aiming for in the parenting of our daughters. Wouldn’t it be awesome if our girls felt loved and cherished enough by us that they would also say the same thing? (or at least think it)

Do you think this little girl will be growing up secure and confident? Think she will have a better shot at making great choices as she grows up? YES on all counts!

Trust me when I say that in the next ten years, this little girl will be called a lot worse than “ugly.” It will get a lot worse and happen a lot more often. She will be degraded in the media, in music, on campuses and in locker rooms. Some of this future attack will be a whisper and other times it will be a scream.

I am so proud of this Dad for giving this girl a priceless gift that will set her up well for the rest of her life. I am so happy for this little girl and the trajectory that she is on.

And, I am so hopeful that anyone reading this blog will be urged to engage with their daughter at a new and deeper level. I am hopeful that your daughters and mine would be saying or thinking the very same thing when the world presses in on them and tries to tear them down. I am hopeful that when the world tells them lies (and it will), that our daughters will have some powerful truth to hang onto. It’s coming…. Will your daughter be ready? It’s partly up to you!

Today’s take away: Find a way to tell your daughter she is beautiful and precious both inside and out every day this week.

Are we clear?

Crystal!

Get after it

Alan

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With Father’s Day approaching, we have an offer for you. Hit the link below from now until Father’s Day and enter “DAD” at checkout to save 20% on your entire order. There are some fun shirts and other things for both Dad & Daughter.

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Not long ago I had a high school girl tell me how much she missed the dates that she and her dad used to go on when she was little. Life had gotten busy and hectic and dad probably thought she wasn’t interested anymore now that she was 18 and had her own boyfriend. Not true!

Dads – I challenge you to take time in the next month to go on a purposeful date with your daughter. Plan a meal out for the 2 of you and while you are waiting for your order have fun with some questions for each other. You can use the lists below or come up with your own.  I had a dad tell me recently that he did this with his daughter and they both loved it.    Simple – you can even just print this list and bring it to dinner 🙂

 

10 ?’s for dad to ask daughter:

1) If you could do anything in one day – what would your day look like?

2) What is one thing I should know about you that maybe I don’t?

3) What has been the best day of your life so far and why?

4) What is one thing you wish I did with you more often and why?

5) How do you think we are similar?

6) How do you think we are different?

7) What is one thing you wish I didn’t do?

8) What do you want to be when you grow up and why?

9) How can I be a better dad to you?

10) What is your favorite movie and why?

 

10 Questions for daughter to ask dad:

1) When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up?

2) What was the hardest thing for you when you were my age?

3) What is your favorite movie of all time and why?

4) What is your favorite memory of growing up?

5) How were things different when you grew up?

6) What do you think is the most important thing a parent can teach a child?

7) How do you think we’re similar?

8) How do you think we’re different?

9) What made you fall in love with mom?

10) What do you like about your job?

 

Have fun with these and hopefully this can be a springboard for many conversations to come 🙂

 

Kristy

 

PS – we have a book of fun challenges like this one in a handbook called “30 Day Challenge” you can find in the store.

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Road Trips

Dr. Don Worcester —  May 6, 2016 — Leave a comment

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Differences create tension.

Tension is uncomfortable.

Ignoring or erasing the differences will

Reduce the tension and restore the

Comfort.

This process will create greater Ease.

Ease is desirable and attainable.

If we eliminate differences

It will be Easy!

 

But will it be Good?

Will it be amazing and great?

Will it be ripe with life giving energy?

Probably not,

But it will be Easy and Comfortable.

 

So…. What if we don’t ignore, erase or eliminate the differences?

What if we decide to recognize and

Welcome the differences?

What if we saw the differences as

challenging not threatening?

What if we cared more about the 

      Capacity we could have together,                 

       than the comfort we could have 

        apart?

What if we decide to live with the tension rather than eliminate it?

 

To live with Tension requires Intentional living.

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This is harder and better living.

 

Our lives do not get better, richer or fuller because we eliminate differences. They get better when we Integrate differences. 

 

Only something more powerful and compelling than our individual differences can bind us and blend us into more than ourselves.

 

Personal happiness is a natural by product of a great marriage but it’s a lousy compass for daily living. The Road to ” Happily Ever After” travels through some wild and wooly terrain.

 

Traveling with differences means we will learn to:

Set a common direction,

Recover from disappointments,

Stay courageous and hopeful through rough seasons,

Cultivate joy and purpose in our daily routines and rhythm

Stay connected through conflict

Give fresh starts to one another in our life together.

 

The road to “Happily Ever After” has bumps, twists and turns.

There may be some sections with little service.

You may encounter severe weather.

The road itself may become difficult to find and follow in certain sections.

There may be encounters with locals who are hostile to your presence.

Your vehicle will likely experience some damage along the way,

you will need to make repairs and get back on the road.

Some days you will cruise along with little effort

other days you will crawl and creep forward expending all the energy you have.

 

Why travel such a road?….because of the destination.

Dads and husbands are invited into the Ultimate Road Trip.

Our daughters are on this journey with us.

They are learning about life and faith and love by watching us

and by being with us.

They are learning what does and doesn’t matter in their life and in their relationships.

They are learning how to give and receive love.

They are learning how to stay the course and how to put their trust in the One who calls them,

because He is trustworthy.

All of this will lead them to a great destination.

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Sometimes a hard roads lead to a beautiful place.

If you do not believe in the beauty of the destination, 

you may just look for a beautiful road.

A Beautiful destination is the real reward of any good journey.

So let’s top off the tank,

roll down the windows

and turn up the music;

it’s a great day

for a Road Trip.

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

Borrowed Light

Dr. Don Worcester —  April 22, 2016 — Leave a comment

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A full moon is often beautiful and brilliant in the night sky. Moonlight has made it into our songs, our stories and into our imaginations.

The moon appears “self-luminous” but we know it is borrowed light that makes it shine. The Moon appears bright because the sun is very, very, very bright.

Borrowed light is still light. An object that poorly reflects something blazing and brilliant is still casting light in a dark night sky.

I need no apology from the moon.

It is the brightest light in the evening sky. It is limited, not defective. It generates no light of it’s own, it is a reminder in the dark, that the True Light is still shining, that the dawn is coming.

Moonlight is a deposit, a down payment towards a brighter day that has not yet arrived; it’s a promise in the night that the dawn is coming.

 

The light from the moon waxes and wanes over the days and weeks of its lunar calendar. The moon is on it’s own journey, it is not a fixture but an object in motion. We only see part of the moon part of the time. The fullest and brightest moon on the clearest night is still not fully illuminated; there is still a dark side.

 

The moon is a lesser light that reflects a greater one. All of creation is a poor reflection of a magnificent Creator.

When the Creator and the creation are fully reconciled, the lesser things will fall away. The scaffolding is no longer needed once the Cathedral is finished.

The lesser things will fall away at the arrival of the One and Only. The sun, moon and stars will be released, their mission fulfilled, marriage will be released as the wedding feast of the Lamb begins, time and pain and tears will all evaporate as the Eternal, Good and Beautiful King welcomed us by name into His Kingdom and Reign.

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This is not a fairy tale or fabricated happy ending. This is not a Cosmic, Mystical hug generated from a vague sense of well-being and well wishes.

This is a Coronation Celebration, with all of creation on its knee’s confessing and welcoming the return of the King.

 

Great dad’s also live and love from borrowed light. No apology for not being the source. We can still be bright lights in a dark sky. Most of us have a dark side, we are prone to wax and wane. Some nights we shine full and bright, some nights we can reflect only a sliver of light.

 

Our imperfect and inconsistent love is a reminder in the dark that a greater love is coming. It’s the job we have been given as dads. Let’s stay the course. There really is a Man in the Moon. He’s a dad with a daughter.

 

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Shine on!

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester