You have probably heard the phrase before, “Happy wife, happy life.” The first time I heard this phrase, it was in a comedy sketch where the comedian proceeded to rattle off 20 minutes of hilarious marriage material. His point was to help us guys understand that if we keep our wife happy, our life will be much better. If she is happy, we are happy!
In the context of this Father/Daughter blog which you can subscribe to at www.myfatherdaughter.com this phrase means even more! We get a “two-fer!” There is an opportunity to get more “bang for the buck.” Who among us doesn’t love a great deal whenever we can get one!
In our book, Prized Possession, I spoke about the things that young women told us that impacted them greatly. One of those key principles was when they saw their dad loving and respecting their mom in a great way.
Let’s break down the “two-fer”
If you love, honor and respect your wife, she will generally respond in a likewise manner to you! As we share our emotion, affection, heart, mind and soul with our spouse, she will be freed up to respond in kind, and love us the way we need to be loved in return. You both WIN!
Here is the bang for the buck and the value added. You obviously care about your daughter, your relationship with her and her general well-being. Your daughter arrives in this life with a blank slate. She is learning how everything works. She does this by watching, interacting and exploring life. Her most important classroom for this learning is her home and her biggest teachers are her parents. You as dad, might have the strongest, most powerful voice in your daughter’s life.
Everything your daughter learns about men, dating, how she should be treated, what is acceptable and how worthy she is of respect will first come from you and what she observes at home. So, loving, honoring, and respecting your wife in a great way has a “two-fer” effect.
- You get to have a great marriage.
- Your daughter learns what to look for and expect in future boyfriends and husband.
My 31 year old daughter Brittany, has contributed a chapter in the book, “Prized Possession.” In her chapter she wrote this:
“After 31 years of watching my dad interact with my mom, I know for sure that he has every quality that I want to find in my future husband. It is because of the amazing example that he has set that I know what I deserve, and I will not settle for anything less. For that, I am extremely grateful.”
Celebrating 35 years in Cabo!
I share what she said with great humility. In my mind, I could have done a much better job at being a husband all these years. BUT, what Brittany wrote, unprompted, highlights this concept for me. Your daughter will look for a man using YOU as the lens she looks through. She will know from YOU what is acceptable and attainable. The way YOU love and honor your wife will partly determine the kind of husband (or boyfriend) your daughter looks for. What lessons on love and marriage is your daughter learning YOU?
Today’s Take Away: Take an inventory of how your marriage is doing. Recognize that your daughter, no matter what her age, is watching and absorbing. Ask your wife how you can be a better husband to her.
God bless you in this pursuit friends
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