I watched one of the Iron Man movies with my daughter last week. She
was in her PJ’s, I was in my sweats, and Tony Stark was in his very
cool Iron Man suit. We had a great time lounging on the couch with
pillows and snacks watching the good guys battle the bad guys.
One of the very cool features about the armored suit in Iron Man is
how quickly it wraps him up and prepares him for battle. At the very
first sign of a threat, Tony Stark is locked, loaded and ready to go.
He becomes ” Iron Man” in the blink of an eye.
Watching the movie got me thinking about my own “Protective Suit.” How
long does it take me to armor up when I feel threatened, challenged or
exposed? How many different weapons do I power up in my efforts to self
protect?
It turns out that I am not that different than Tony Stark/Iron Man,
once you get past the Beachside Mansion, the garage of super cool cars
and Bio Metric Heart with an L.E.D
Light display. When I feel threatened, I get defensive.
Defensiveness in any intimate relationship will always kill genuine
connection and healthy communication. Before we deal with the threat
or conflict in front of us, we have to battle the defensiveness that
rises up within us.
As fathers we get exposed, challenged and threatened on a regular
basis. In a movie it is cool to Armor up,
but in a relationship it is better to Open up. So let me ask you. Are
you being honest with yourself about what you are really protecting?
Are you taking responsibility for your Defensiveness? Do you make
others pay a price for questioning you?
You and I will miss important moments with our daughters if we don’t
manage this well. There will be conversations that don’t happen,
connections that don’t form and burdens that are not shared. Let’s
let Tony Stark wear the Iron Man suit. We don’t want or need armor
in our home or our relationships. Find some sweats, make some popcorn
pop in a movie and enjoy that girl of yours.
Grace & Peace,
Dr. Don Worcester
