“Men are at Their Best When Their Hearts are Engaged”
There is a great book called, “Dad, Here’s What I Really Ned from You” where the author Michelle Watson lays out some great relational “how to’s” for dads. In this book she quotes another book by Ken Canfield “The Heart of a Father” as he says,
“I believe men are at the best when their hearts are engaged. The coming generation needs fathers who relate to the children and wives with their hearts – hearts that overflow with love and compassion and hearts that are very intentional and committed to doing what’s best for those they love…I believe men possess more power through healthy fathering than in any other area of their lives.”
That is a huge statement – healthy fathering could be the most powerful thing you do with your life dads. Let that sink in.
I would say most men are wired to be ‘doers’ – providers, fixers, analyzers, Those are all great things. But dads, listen closely to what makes healthy fathering — the engagement of your heart. That may be much harder to exercise. For some of you, you may feel that your fathering has become transactional and you know this is lacking, for some of you this is tough and you are trying, and for others this may come naturally. I think it gets harder as your kids get older. It may feel like they don’t care or need you as much, relationships may feel distant. you may not have as much time together as you once did, or it may even get strained or uncomfortable in your home.
Dads – enter with your heart first. For example, the discipline to listen and not always provide a solution. the ability to put aside the phone and engage, the courage to ask hard questions, the willingness to enter in to uncomfortable places, and the tenacity to pray continually for your kids. We can settle into transactional parenting – getting them to school or sports, making sure homework is done and grades are good, making sure they are doing what they’re supposed to be doing – but don’t skip the most important and powerful thing – the heart in it all.