Why is it that I can still remember things said in jest about me when I was in middle school – I laughed on the outside, but on the inside the thoughts stuck with me and I wondered if they were true? Negative comments from others tend to stick with us. I don’t know why but we tend to listen to lies. Girls need to hear another perspective. It takes so very much to counteract negativity and your voice may be the one they need to hear from the most!
My role in this blog is to be a liason between girls and dads and to share some things I am learning from the girls I work with. Not long ago I asked a group of girls to finish the sentence “I feel like I need to be…”
The physical words come first. I feel like I need to be:
– have perfect skin
– good hair
Then they start to think deeper and finish the sentence with words like:
– good student
– smart (but not too smart some girls say)
The lists went on and on………
That’s a lot of pressure. Where does it all come from? Check out this video:
I show this video to girls and they are surprised, they are angry, they feel lied to, they feel manipulated and they feel relieved. We live in a world of manipulated ideals, lies, and distorted reality. Our girls are surrounded by unrealistic expectations and then they beat themselves up for not meeting them. Many girls constantly wonder if they are “enough” and believe the ideals set up before them are the “goal”. Please be a voice in the life of your daughter speaking truth, she needs to hear you loud and clear.
– that the outside is not all that matters
– that she is loved for who she is
– that she is “enough” and does not need to earn your love or the love of her Heavenly Father
– that she is designed and created uniquely and wonderfully put together (Read Psalm 139 together some time)
We cannot underestimate the voice and presence of a father or a positive male figure in the lives of young girls. It is not an easy world, girls hear too much garbage, and they need a father’s voice saying – you are enough as you are, I love you, you are valuable, and you can trust me.
And dads – don’t just think it – say it! It takes so very much to counteract what they are hearing in the world around them and your voice may be the one they need to hear the most! Unfortunately lies can be so easy to believe. In order to combat the lies, we need to outweigh it with truth!
PS – Show your daughter this video and listen to what she thinks, it may be insightful.