Launching

Dr. Don Worcester —  April 15, 2016 — Leave a comment

When I was in grade school the U.S. was in a big time Space Race with

Russia. The moon was the prize and when the Apollo Rockets launched

the whole country tuned in to watch the spectacle and glory of the

Count Down, Ignition and Lift Off.

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There are hundreds of famous images from that era; Astronauts, Mission

Control, Space Capsules, News Anchors and the strong and beautiful

Apollo Rockets lifting off with power, grace and promise. There are

lots of stirring photos. There is one important thing rarely featured in the Apollo archives,

the Launch Pad.

 

When a Launch Pad does it’s job, it mostly goes unnoticed. This kind

of make sense given that Launch Pads are not designed to launch

themselves, they have a more important role.

A role that is central to the whole mission.

 

They stay grounded to help something else fly.

 

They absorb the fiery blast that comes with every new launch.

 

They are on site and along side for the whole preparation and count

down process.

 

They set the trajectory for the right path.

The direction at lift off

will determine much of the journey.

 

They get to hold something close that is truly beautiful and powerful.

Something filled with promise and purpose. Something designed to fly,

to travel further and faster and farther than our eyes can see. They

get the best view

and the last view of

a successful launch.

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A Launch Pad has a good gig, so does any dad with a daughter. A Launch

Pad or a dad without scorch marks has probably not been in active

service. It is part of the gig. So let’s stay at it.

I don’t know any dads who do not sometimes feel a bit clumsy or stiff

in their efforts to connect, support, lead, love and launch their

girls. But I do know this, nothing launches without a Launch Pad!

 

The race to the moon was important, but if you are parenting a

daughter today, you are in a much bigger and better Race. Let’s show

up with the best stuff we have, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

 

Man Cave

Dr. Don Worcester —  April 1, 2016 — 1 Comment

 

I have a good friend in Phoenix who runs a great business from a building he bought and redesigned.The

building does everything he needs it to do for his operation, but it has a bonus feature that is truly magnificent, a Man Cave.

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This room is brimming with Testosterone. I am pretty sure my T levels went up ten points the first time I walked in the door. Even the air seemed more masculine in this place. A visit to a Man Cave can be a fun and pleasant diversion.  But if you stay too long in a Man Cave, you run the risk of becoming a Cave Man.

In the Old Testament a prophet by the name of Elijah found his way to a Man Cave (I Kings 19). He had been working hard to serve his community, to do it right and to make a difference. But by the time he reached his Man Cave he was pretty wiped out, pretty discouraged and pretty done. God made an unscheduled appearance and asked a simple but significant question, ” What are you doing here Elijah?”

Elijah responded with a pattern and complaint that I recognize in myself. He began by explaining his good intentions, his hard work and his noble character. Then he complained about everyone else, their bad behavior and lousy attitudes. Finally he finished with a tragic and whiney comment about being ” the only one who cares”. These are Cave Man thoughts. They form in the dark, they take root in isolation, they are self-validating and turn us into dull brutes. Cave Men are ruled by their appetites and their fears. They are not fit company for our daughters.

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To draw Elijah from the cave, God whispered his name. This was not a Power Encounter but a Personal Encounter. He was given a simple but clear charge, ” Go back from where you came.” Elijah was encouraged and reminded that God was up to more than he knew. God is always doing more in us and through us than we perceive. So let’s go back from where we came. Let’s get up and get on with it.

Lets lose the self-endorsing chatter in our heads about our great character and noble intentions.

Let’s quit whining about the whiners.

Let’s be Joyful Saints and not Miserable Martyrs when we show up to serve.

Our Daughters deserve good men and great dads.

So enjoy a visit to your local Man Cave. Take a good deep breath and enjoy the earthy masculine dimension of your male soul.

Then head back and Man Up, we’ve got work to do.

 

Peace and Grace

Dr. Don Worcester

 

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End Goal #weddingday

Alan Smyth —  March 13, 2016 — Leave a comment

I met Stu Graff over 30 years ago. He has been a friend and more importantly has done a phenomenal job in raising not one, not two, but three daughters. I felt like I had my hands full raising just one daughter. He is teaching the rest of us how to do it by excelling in raising three.

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Because I am friends with Stu & Tessa, and have known the family over the years, I can personally attest to the grace, beauty, humility, sense of humor and heart to serve in his girls. They have all turned out great and I know Stu is a very proud dad.

This past weekend, Stu reached a milestone. He achieved an end goal of sorts. He gave his oldest daughter away to another man… Stu walked down the isle with Kayla clinging to his arm. He then gave her hand to Derek and after a few words, he watched his daughter walk back down that same isle clinging to her new husband.

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Not that we will ever stop being a parent, but our daughters wedding day is certainly a huge milestone and in some ways an end goal. Every dad dreams of this day and those thoughts are usually filled with a mixture of joy, dread, celebration, fear and maybe a little bit of loss. It’s all about your daughter choosing the right guy. Someone who will love her as much as we do. Someone who will protect and defend our daughter as we would. Someone who will honor her as a precious masterpiece like we do. I know that Stu has welcomed his new son in law to the family and Derek has “passed the test.” Whew…. One down, and two more to go! Congrats Stu, you did a GREAT job!

So here is my question….

How will your daughter know the difference between a frog and a prince?

How will your daughter be able to sniff out a fraud?

How will your daughter be able to know what a great husband should act like?

Being a woman, how will your daughter know what she should expect from a man?

You’ve probably guessed it…. Yep, the answer to all of these questions is YOU. She will see what a real man looks like by watching you. She will be able to tell the difference between authentic and fake by watching you. She will know what to expect from a great husband because of watching you. And she will expect to be treated by men in the way she has watched how you have treated and talked about women.

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The answer is YOU. So, with God’s help, lets rededicate ourselves to being the best version of ourselves that we can. Let’s be the best husband and man we can and let’s circle back with our daughters and invest in a deep way with their lives.

Your future son in law and grandkids could depend on it!

Oh, and work on your dancing skills too!

Alan
PS: Stu was a contributor to our book Prized Possession. Pick up the book using the link below and hear from Stu and others what their strategy was for raising great daughters.

 

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Prospecting

Dr. Don Worcester —  March 11, 2016 — Leave a comment

Treasure hunting comes pretty naturally for most men. Much of the world was discovered and settled because men were dreaming, searching or chasing after some pile of gold, City of Gold or rumor of gold in some far away place. So it was probably not a big surprise that I picked a stop on our family vacation that offered the chance to, “Pan for Gold.” The attendant was dressed as a Prospector and explained that for 10 bucks we would be given a 5-pound bag of sand, a Gold Pan and a lesson on Prospecting. He also assured us that each bag had Real Gold somewhere in the mix. I bought several bags, and we began Prospecting.

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It turns out that a pile of dirt, with the Gold flakes in it, looks a lot like a pile of dirt.

It takes skill and patience and practice to separate the sand from the gold. A man without skill will lose the gold with the sand. A man without patience will quit before the gold is revealed. A man who doesn’t practice these skills will miss the treasure right in front of him. Good dads are good Prospectors. They know there is gold in their daughter’s hearts. They are committed to sifting through a whole bag of ordinary life to find the treasure hidden inside.

 

The questions we asked our daughters will help us sort out and separate the sand from the gold. We should always ask our daughters about their activities, their schedules, their plans and their behaviors.

 

“What did you do today? ”

“ How did Volleyball go?”

“ Do you want to go to the Skate Party on Saturday?”

 

If we want to connect with their hearts, we need to ask questions that help reveal their hearts. Andy Stanley in his book, Enemies of the Heart suggest some good questions to consider.

 

“ Is everything okay in your heart?”

“Did anybody hurt your feelings today?”

“Are you mad at anybody?”

“Did anybody break a promise to you today?”

“Is there anything you need to tell me?”

“ Is there anyone you would like to see fail?”

Let’s keep Prospecting with our daughters. Let’s not be satisfied with simple and easy exchanges. There is real gold in their hearts, let’s keep working until we find it.

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Grace and Peace

Dr. Don Worcester

 

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Local Young Life Clubs will sometimes play a game called Bigger or Better. The High School students are thrown into groups of 10-15 kids and given one shiny penny. The groups are then given 30 minutes to canvas the neighborhood and begin trading what they have for something Bigger or Better. The original penny is quickly upgraded to something Bigger or Better. The group then tears off to the next house ready to trade again. Under just the right conditions, one Shiny Penny can turn into a real treasure.

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In the second chapter of Genesis we find God

inviting Eve into his version of Bigger and Better.

 

She is invited and led into a Bigger Story that God is telling.

A story that extends beyond her life;

a Big Story, a beautiful garden, an intimate relation with her creator,

a partner who is both similar and different at the same time, a naked freedom with a total absence of shame.

 

Eve represents the final brush strokes of the Master’s Painting called Creation. The incomplete and not good become the Very Best with the introduction of Eve to the Creation account.

 

She joins this Big Story and brings something new and beautiful,

She makes the Good even Better.

 

 

She does not join as a Clone of Adam

She is the First Woman not the second Human

 

She is crafted out of Adam, not out of soil.

She is formed with a capacity to compliment and contribute to the relationships with both God and Man

 

She is designed with a capacity to bring life and to give life.

She is an image bearer of God in her gender, in her gifting, in her unique physical, emotional, spiritual expression.

 

In marriage she is designed to be her complete and unique self

and to be blended and mingled into a union with a complete and unique man.

 

Two different beings held together and united by a Greater Being, a Greater Love, a Greater and Bigger Story.

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Are we helping our daughters enter into the Bigger Story?

 

Are we helping them celebrate and enjoy their unique design and beauty?

 

Are we asking and encouraging them to want more than small comforts?

 

Our daughter’s have a calling and a destiny that goes beyond the comfortable and the convenient.

Let’s cheer them into the bigger story.

Let’s support their best convictions.

Let’s imagine their biggest and best contribution.

 

Under just the right circumstances, a shiny penny or a shiny girl can transform into a real treasure.

Let’s keep falling forward as we love and lead our families.

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

 

 

A while back, I wrote about “Oversexualization & a Dads Role.” I wrote about the war on our girls launched on them by the media, popular music and the entertainment industry. If you did not see that post, please click HERE to catch yourself up on what I wrote about.

Today, I want to highlight a great role model Dad. One of my main hopes that I maintain as a result of this blog and the book Prized Possession that is available now is that Dads will be inspired to engage in the battle around their daughter. So many Dads are pre occupied and distracted and thereby miss how they are needed to be involved.

I always love it when I see a Dad take action. In THIS ARTICLE, CLICK HERE, a fed up Dad writes an open letter to Victoria Secret. He can’t stand their newest marketing scheme and it is “making him sick.” I wonder if you have the same reaction as his?

Victoria Secret

Is the picture above really the picture we want our young girls to aspire to? I promise you this picture does not reflect the actual reality of anything naturally attainable. Lets allow our young girls to be “young girls.”

What actions are needed in the environment around your daughter?

Scare off a knucklehead boy who is hanging around?

Write someone a letter?

Give someone a call?

Become alert, get off your seat and spring into action.

What are YOU going to do?

Bless you today

Alan

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