Seminar For Dads

Alan Smyth —  July 4, 2018 — Leave a comment

“Prized Possession” Seminar for Dad’s

There are several facets to this “Father/Daughter” conversation which have bubbled up. If you are reading this, then you already know about the blog found at www.myfatherdaughter.com. This has been a fun place for meaningful conversation via this blog and the associated website. If you are not “subscribed” to our blog, please do so at our website.  I’m not sure if you knew that we wrote a book last year called “Prized Possession.” The book has been well received and helpful for lots of Dads and is available on our website.

book

Another fun component to this project is that Kristy Fox and I are available to deliver a two hour, interactive seminar which is based on the table of contents of our book. We have done this many times and each time it has been incredibly well received. We have loved processing the important Father/Daughter relationship with hundreds of Dads.

A & K speaking

If you would be interested in booking us for this seminar you may e-mail us at Alan@myfatherdaugher.com to begin the conversation. You can also pull down the drop-down on our website entitled “seminar.” There you will find more information including some feedback from recent attenders.

Crowd at seminar

“I feel equipped to engage”

“Good best practices”

“Very informative, great job”

“Excellent job of encouraging the dads. Thanks for the great ideas. “

“Keep up the great work”

“It really opened my eyes at the importance of being a more prominent part of my daughter’s life”

“Be the man I want my daughter to seek”

“It’s time to forget the past and engage”

“Let her know she is my gift from God”

“This was great motivation to finish well. Thank you for the blessing”

“Kristy, you don’t know how much you have helped”

E-mail me for more information!

Be Better!

Alan

By the way, you can also follow us on Instagram, facebook and twitter!

 

Check out our store below for some fun gear and to pick up our book!

 

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And Great Was it’s Fall

Alan Smyth —  June 12, 2018 — 2 Comments

If a tree falls in your driveway and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Last Sunday I had the most interesting and enlightening thing happen. My wife and I were leaving the house and heading to church. As I approached the driveway, the unexpected sight of my 30 foot tree laid across my driveway and onto my car. The ordinarily steady symbol of strength had fallen.

Tree 3

It took a few seconds for this odd site to register in my brain.  While I have heard of such things happening from time to time, I had never actually seen it up close. MY tree fell on MY car. But why? There was no particular storm the night before. There was no rain (I live in Southern California) There was no obvious reason why that tree should fall.

Tree 2

After closer examination, I think I found the reason. Upon further review…. The inside of the tree appeared to be infested with termites. The root system had been damaged.

Tree 1

The tree was strong looking on the outside, yet weak on the inside.  This tree gave the perception of strength while lived in the reality of weakness. Thriving in the visible, suffering in the invisible. And great was it’s fall.

How many times have we seen public figures, while appearing strong on the outside, experience a great fall? And upon further review, the interior is always in a weakened state. The roots system is always vulnerable.

Let my fallen tree be a reminder or perhaps a wake-up call to us all! We often spend so much time working on outward appearances that we neglect our inward strength, depth and integrity. Sooner or later a storm always comes. And in the case of my tree, it was so weak on the inside; it didn’t even require much of a storm to cause its fall.

Let’s be strong for our families! Let’s focus on our interior rather than our exterior. Let’s sink deep roots in things that matter. Our daughters need a strong role model and a pillar of strength to look up too. No one is above a fall. Guard your interior. Strengthen your roots and remain strong. Let there be no great fall in your life!

Be Strong!

Alan

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Friends,

We have reached a milestone in the life of this “little project.” It started 30 years ago when my daughter Brittany was born. As I stumbled around hoping to be a great Dad for my daughter, I learned a few things through “On the job training.”

I felt compelled to record my thoughts and experiences of being a dad to my daughter. I felt led to record them all into one place and make them available to whoever might be interested. Further, I felt that getting input from dozens of other Dads, daughters and Young Life leaders would provide a unique collection of content.

I am happy to announce that the project which I spearheaded and collaborated with many others has been turned into a book. And that book is available for consumption right now! Let this blog post remind you of the release of a book I have entitled “Prized Possession.” You will have to read chapter two in order to understand where this title came from.

frontcover

There are dozens of veteran Dads who have shared their insights on what they did and how they approached raising their daughters. Maybe the best part of the book tho, is a chapter written by a compilation of testimonies from post teen age girls who turned out great. I asked them “what did your dad do?” “What impacted you?” You will hear from awesome women what their dad did well. You will want to steal what you hear them say.

If you care to order this book, hit the banner below. You can also order it from our MFD store HERE. There is also a button on our website to be used in purchasing the book as well. If you believe this topic is as important as I do, then I would ask you to forward this e-mail to everyone you know,  “share” it on your facebook, “tweet” it on twitter and ask people you know to check it out on our website. I want a lot of Dads to participate in this conversation because I believe there is some greats stuff on the pages which will make a difference in the lives of little girls. Thanks for your help in spreading the word!

May God bless you in your parenting and may God use the words recorded in this book to empower Dads and bless the little girls they love.

Bless you

Alan Smyth

Click the banner below if you want to buy our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and  e-book.

It is also available at our website CLICK HERE to get the book and other fun Dad Stuff!

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Recently some colleagues of mine asked me for my list of the top 10 things I wanted my daughter to know. The context is that I work with all women at an anti-human trafficking non profit called Saving Innocence. Check us out to learn more.

Their context is that they are inundated with poor examples of Dad’s and men in general. (I’m saying this very nicely here) They are walking every day with young girls who are dealing with the deep wounds of absentee Dad’s as well as those men who would buy and sell girls for sex. I think they needed a reminder of how things should be….

Click HERE to view a short video which tells the story of what I’m doing with Saving Innocence.

Me and Britt after a lunch date in DTLA

(She works at the Staples Center)

 

10 Things I want my Daughter to know

  1. I love you with my whole heart, unconditionally. Nothing you will ever do or say will ever change that.
  2. You are my “Prized Possession” (the most valuable part of my life)
  3. I will always be there to fight for you, defend you, empower you & protect you. I am available for both the fun and the hard conversations. I am on call 24 hours a day as the need arises.
  4. Your worth is not determined by the outside world, boy’s, media, or other people. But rather by your creator who is the only one who gets to establish your value. And He is crazy about you.
  5. You are a daughter of the King of the universe which makes you royalty and an heir to the kingdom. Step into that reality, live like you believe it.
  6. Don’t give any person in your life, especially boys, a voice in your life who don’t believe #5 is true and treat you as such.
  7. Be careful who you follow or listen to. You are being lied to on a daily basis regarding who you are and who you are supposed to be.
  8. Authentic Beauty is on the inside, not the outside. This is counter cultural.
  9. The treadmill of life is exhausting. Rest in who you are and know that you are enough.
  10. When looking for a man, find someone who understands all of the above.

I’m sure I could come up with a few more, but this is what came off the top of my head and which I have tried to live out over the course of her lifetime.

Here is your call to action!

First: what is on your list of things you want to make sure your daughter knows? Make a list!

Second: Show your daughter your list! Once I finished this list I sent it to my daughter and daughter in law to make sure they knew how much I loved them and make sure they knew the things I wanted them to know!

Daughter Brittany on the left and Daughter in Law, Katy on the right. 

I’m a blessed man!

 

Keep up the great work dads! You can do this!

Alan

 

 

Click the banner below if you want to pick up our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and e-book.

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If you have been following this blog for a while, you have become familiar with the now, world famous, “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter” T-shirt.  We literally had interest in this shirt from over 70 countries. Apparently the idea of a Dad protecting his daughter and laying down some rules is not just an “American” cultural thing. If you have thus far missed all the hub-bub, click this link to see the blog post that went round the world and stirred an interest.

Rules Group

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In light of my publishing the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter”, a friend forwarded to me the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters.” Tony Dungy, Super Bowl winning football coach and strong Christian man gives much of his time to social & family issues. He has an effort called “All Pro Dad” which I recommend you looking at.

He recently published the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters”

  1. Love her mom – Treat her mother with respect, honor and PDA.
  2. Always be there – Quality time doesn’t happen without Quantity time.
  3. Pray for her
  4. Dance with her – Don’t wait for her wedding day.
  5. Tell her she’s beautiful – Say it over and over again.
  6. She’s a butterfly – She too will spread her wings and fly someday.
  7. Write her a hand written letter – Every year on her birthday.
  8. Give her the gift of experiences – fishing, fixing things, taking her places etc.
  9. Never miss a birthday – She won’t remember the presents you give her.
  10. Don’t be late – She will eagerly await your return home from work.

That’s a pretty good list. I wonder how you are doing against that list? Why don’t you circle a couple of those right now and make sure to DO them this coming week. Even better would be to show this list to a friend and hold each other accountable for your intentional actions. Seems like if we just “let things happen,” some of the really important things get squeezed out by the really urgent things.

I know you would agree that your daughter is “really important.” Please don’t let the urgent issues at work or life take over. Start working down the list TODAY.

Press on

Alan Smyth

Click the banner below if you want to pick up our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and e-book.

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Easy Bake Oven !!!

Alan Smyth —  December 21, 2017 — Leave a comment

Merry Christmas Season to all. For us parents, this is a magical holiday. The lights, tree, presents and all the hype makes things fun. Depending on how old your daughter is, the “magical” quotient will vary. For those of you with a daughter in the 3-8 age range, Christmas is on steroids. Have fun with it. My kids are 25 & 29 so we have left the truly magical zone.

When Brittany was in the perfect zone for maximum Christmas fun, she opened a gift which elicited a response we still laugh about today. She wanted an “Easy Bake Oven” more than anything else, so of course we got one. When she opened it up and recognized what it was, she exclaimed in the most excited, 5 year old enthusiastic voice imaginable…. “EASY…. BAKE… OVEN!” with her face lit up with emotion. As she ripped open the paper she could hardly contain herself. It was one of those truly magical Christmas moments that we have all enjoyed.

easy bake oven

My Christmas wish and challenge for you this year is to pause and re calibrate to the real purpose of Christmas. Imagine going to a birthday party and passing presents around to all the guests and not actually giving one to the one whose birthday it is. That would seem weird and inappropriate. Yet, that is basically what we do every year. We get time off of work, decorate the house and buy lots of presents all in honor of someone’s birthday. Then, at the crescendo of the holiday, we often pass presents around to one another and ignore the one whose birthday it is.

Let me challenge you to pause with your family, and in some meaningful way, honor Jesus on Christmas. It might sound a bit rudimentary, but I know it is an exercise that is often overlooked. Find a way to say “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. Through the years, we have done it lots of different ways. Many years, my wife made a birthday cake for Jesus. We sang “Happy Birthday” and blew out candles. Often times, we paused to read the Christmas story out of the bible. When the kids were little, we made sure to pause before we opened presents and reminded them what Christmas was actually all about. We did Santa when they were little and we did Jesus always.

I think the best present you could give Jesus this year on His birthday is to pause and meaningfully recognize him at Christmas with your family. It will be a great gift to your daughter to see her Daddy honoring Jesus. And it will be a great gift to Jesus for Him to see you honor Him as well. I can just imagine Jesus responding with the child like enthusiasm that my Brittany did for her Easy Bake Oven at the sight of you giving Him the gift of your honor, respect and recognition this Christmas.

Manger

Today’s Take Away: Make sure you stop and, in some way, say “happy birthday to Jesus” with your kids this Christmas season. It could be a new tradition.

Merry Christmas

Alan

There is still time to get some great last minute Christmas gifts for the Dads in your life! See below!

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