Archives For 10 rules for dating my daughter

Dad, Where are YOU?

Alan Smyth —  April 12, 2015 — Leave a comment

Last week was a dramatic display of pathetic Dads. In my “day job”, I am the Regional Director for Young Life in Los Angeles. I lead a faithful team of saints who are actively entrenched in the lives of adolescents in Los Angeles. Young Life is a faith based ministry which seeks to share God’s love to teens in a way they can understand.

Last week I had a videographer in town as we are producing a promotional video for others to see what we are doing and hopefully be inspired to get involved. We spent three days driving around town and interviewing kids. As we asked these teens to share their stories, there was one resounding theme that was repeated over and over.

diamond

Often through tears, almost all of these students shared the heartache of an absent father. Or worse yet, a Dad who was present but abusive. Deep pain, lasting hurt and lots of regret was heard over and over and over.

Jenny

Each time I heard from these sweet kids I had two distinct feelings. First I wanted to give them a hug and second, I wanted to go find their Dad. I was again reminded in a graphic way of the incredible responsibility we have as Dad’s. I was encouraged that my daughter does not have their story and I was inspired to continue this important conversation with whoever will listen.

The twitter handle for “MyFatherDaughter” is @2cor618. Follow us if you want. It refers to a bible verse that says “And I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” It’s my hope and prayer that these hurting kids will know God’s love for them and they will sense they have the Father they were cheated out of thus far.

Thanks for wanting to be a great Dad. Your daughter might not thank you for your effort, but later in life she will be far better off and extremely grateful for your presence in her life.

Keep going!

Alan

 

Store 2 button

 

Book Banner

 

Running the Race

Alan Smyth —  March 22, 2015 — Leave a comment

“Do you not know that In the race all the runners run, But only one gets the prize?

Run in such way to get the prize.”

1 Corinthians 9:24

Paul threw down the challenge. As long as you are in the race, you may as well run to win. I mean, if you are going to be running, why not break a sweat and do your best?

The kicker here is that you might be inclined to think that the race is optional. You might be inclined to think that since you did not officially enter the race, that you are not compelled to run.

 Marathon 3

Last week, my awesome wife and daughter ran the LA Marathon. WOW! What an accomplishment! I had a distinct choice in the matter. I could enter the race and run, or I could not enter the race and observe. The picture above is a post-race family shot of my son, daughter, wife and I. My son and I slept in that day and ate a hearty breakfast at the hotel. My wife and daughter tortured their bodies running 26.2. We all made our choice.

Marathon 4

The LA marathon was optional. I didn’t run!

The race of life is not optional. If you are alive, you have been automatically entered. You are running! And if you made the choice to be a dad, the race of parenting is not optional. You entered yourself years ago. You don’t get to choose each day whether or not you are going to be a dad. You made that lifetime choice long ago and now you ARE A DAD and you are running the race.

Marathon 5

So, now as long as you are running, why not run to win? Why not run in such a way to get the prize? So what is “winning” in parenting? What is the “prize?”

How about some of these as the prize you are going after?

  • Great communication between you and your kids
  • Lots of laughter in the home
  • A loving and full relationship with your wife
  • A daughter who can discern the difference between truth and lies
  • A son who knows what authentic manhood is

Marathon 1

In running a marathon, you don’t show up on race day and do well without training. Similarly with parenting, you don’t show up on race day without training and hope to succeed.  A successful marathon like successful parenting is accomplished through consistent training and effort over a long period of time. It requires the right nutrition and equipment and above all it requires a firm resolve to achieving the goal.

“As long as you are in the race, why not run in such a way to win the prize.”

We have far too many observing dads and not enough running dads.

Break a sweat guys!

Alan

In order to help you with your training, visit our store and pick up our book “Prized Possession” and our workbook “30 Day Challenge.” Use “20” at check our and receive a 20% discount on your entire order. Hit the button below!

 

Store 2 button

Super Bowl Pride

Alan Smyth —  February 2, 2015 — Leave a comment

We recently had the National Holiday known as Super Bowl Sunday. Every football fan around the world was shocked and surprised at how the game ended. Not to go too deep into the X’s & O’s of football, but the Seattle Seahawks found themselves on the goal line at the end of the game. They had arguably the best running back in the league in the backfield. What has been described as the “worst play call in history” by many came next.

Instead of letting their “Beastmode” running back stroll into the end zone for the win, they dropped back and threw an interception and thus lost the game.

Interception

The internet almost broke with nearly a unanimous outcry of how bad the play call was. Patriot fans giggled with dis belief while Seahawk fans screamed in horror. Football fans that didn’t really care who won were in disbelief.

Pete

And then there was Pete Carrol, head coach of the Seahawks. He immediately and relentlessly defended his call. He was probably covering for someone else, but ultimately it was HIS call. EVERYONE is saying it was a terrible call. He stands alone and says it was the right call.

Pride has a way of deceiving us and defeating us. Pride has a way of blinding us and hurting us. Previous successes have a way of creating a false sense of invincibility. “Pride comes before the fall.” How is it that we can put ourselves on an Island and start believing our own press clippings to our own demise?

Lay down your sword and shield. Understand there is always more to learn and another way to see things. Toxic levels of pride never work anywhere. It doesn’t work as a leader, a husband, a friend or a parent.

Learn a lesson from the Super Bowl. Call a time out, consult some friends and make a great decision.

Be Strong!

Alan

Get some fun Dad gear and other resources from our store. Hi the link below!

Store 2 button

 

Last February, I wrote a funny little blog regarding the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter.” It received so much interest, that a ton of Dads started asking for a shirt depicting those 10 Rules. So, for fun, I made a small quantity of those shirts and announced them in an APRIL 1 blog – CLICK HERE TO READ.

The picture ended up going viral on Father’s Day. Since that time, it has been shipped to over 58 countries and my wife now has a little internet business where she sells these shirts to anyone who wants one. It has been fun to see Dads everywhere rally around the concept of protecting their daughter. This shirt has brought Dads further into this important conversation.

People started asking about the “next shirt” and so we came up with the perfect companion shirt. Every dad who bought the “Rules” shirt will also want to pick up this shirt entitled “5 Things you should know about my Dad.” This is a shirt for your Daughter. Think of the two of you wearing these shirts out together! It will be a real conversation piece.

front Wear your shirts together!

Reese

 

On the front it says “Daddy’s Girl” and on the back it lists the “5 Things you should know about my Dad.”

  1. He is a former MMA Champ (Yeah, right!)
  2. He is an excellent Marksman (Probably not)
  3. He has a shovel and a backyard (Maybe)
  4. He has anger issues (hopefully not, but he doesn’t t need to know that)
  5. I am his princess (FOR SURE)

shoulders

Helm and nate

This, all on a pink shirt, cut perfectly for girls and available in small sizes. If you want a closer look at the shirt, or you already know you have to have this shirt, visit the online store found at.

www.myfatherdaughter.com

Back

 

Let’s keep this important conversation alive as we wear our Father/Daughter T-shirts.  And let’s not confuse the strategy here. It’s not about the shirt and it’s not about the few bucks being made on production. It’s about bringing Dad’s closer into the conversation about being better Dads to their daughters. It’s about gaining more followers to the blog and inspiring Dads to be better for the sake of our girls.

Enjoy

Alan & Sharon Smyth

If you act quickly, there should be enough time for a Christmas delivery!
See our entire collection in our store. Hit the button below!

MFD Xmas Shop 300x225

Most Wanted List

Dr. Don Worcester —  November 28, 2014 — Leave a comment

It is Good to want good things.

Most people want to be physically healthy.

Most of us want to be financially stable.

Lots of people want to have a great marriage and a healthy family.

There is no real shortage of good things to want in life.

A Most Wanted List does not have to feature criminals.

So let me ask you a question, what is on your Most Wanted List?

images-1

 

If we are going to be honest with ourselves and we might as well be, wanting good things is pretty easy.

Wanting a good thing can help us feel slightly noble without requiring much of us. We can add to this effect by emphasizing to ourselves and others how much we “Really Want” this particular thing. It’s quite convincing if you practice it enough.

Wanting a good thing can also helps us feel as though we are making actual progress towards achieving it. I can sometimes defend my “sincere wanting” with statements like, “I told you this is really important to me, and I am working on it.” Working in this context often means I intend to do something about as soon as I have more time and energy.

It is good to want good things

but wanting a good thing to happen, does not make it happen.

What makes good things happen in the real world is not our wanting but our willing.

 

Unless our Most Wanted List

grows into our Most Willing List

It is just a Wish List.

Unknown-8

 

A man with a Wish List may be sweet and well intentioned

but a man with a Willing List can fight and battle for the people and things he loves.

 

Let’s be dads who offer our daughters more than Wishful Words. Let’s find the grace and courage to live out our intentions and convictions in real acts of service and love. Let’s burn the most Wanted List; let’s start The Most Willing List today.

images-31

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

 
Like it or not….. Holiday Shopping in ON. Check out our store for unique gifts for Dad, Daughter & Mom!

CLICK BELOW

 

MFD Xmas Store 600x450

You must have seen a recent blog post written in the Huffington Post that absolutely blew up. I believe some TWO MILLION views or something absurd like that. Turns out that the guy who wrote it is connected through a good friend. We got connected and I asked Justin Ricklefs to write up a guest post for the MFD audience. In case you missed his burst onto to the world scene, CLICK HERE to catch yourself up. Below is his offering to us. Enjoy! – Alan

Written by Justin Ricklefs.  Reclaiming the things that matter most in business, wellness and home. Blogger at JustinRicklefs.com. Writer for HuffPost Parents and GoodMenProject.com.  Husband to Brooke. Daddy to four girls & one boy. Sales executive.

Something magical happened in the mountains of Tennessee this spring. Something I didn’t expect and something that no amount of money could buy. I was given a gift that I will cherish until the day I die.

We had been planning it for over a year. Reports, research, pros and cons, Google image searches. All led by our 10 year old daughter, Kamden. About 18 months before her 10th birthday, I read a book that has shaped my life in a major way. “Love Does” by Bob Goff. I learned a ton of lessons from that book, but one in particular was Bob’s concept of a 10 year old trip with your child. Anywhere they want to go. They get to plan it.

For financial reasons, we limited her search to the continental US. Really that was her only restriction. She immediately came up with a Top 10 list that included big cities like DC and New York. It also included nature areas like Yellowstone and the Niagara Falls. But the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee remained on the list through each iteration. She saw a picture of a log cabin, a kid on horseback, and another on a zipline. The rolling hills of Tennessee it was.

Walking pic

Once she knew the final destination, we had six months to plan the trip. She turned 10 in January, but it wasn’t until May when we launched our adventure. We moved from Florida back home to Kansas City in late April, so because of our recent move, Brooke stayed home with the other four. So at 4am on Friday morning, I woke sweet Kamden up in the pitch dark and told her we had a flight to catch. We flew direct from KC to Nashville. Rented a car and then drove the 3.5 hours to the middle of these mysterious mountains.

Horses were ridden, lines were zipped, good food was consumed, hot tubs were soaked in. Sure all of it cost us money. Less than a thousand bucks in all. But the memories we made and the bond we cemented was truly priceless. I watched Kamden’s sails fill up during that trip. She became a young lady in those four days in the mountains.

Swing pic

I’m not sure why it took me 10 years to realize it, but I was confronted by a new reality. If I could spend money on memories instead of things, that investment would pay an amazing return over time. It doesn’t have to be exactly at ten years old or exactly the way we did it, but here are four reasons why you need to take your daughter on a trip:

*1. It Allows Her to be Her* – In our home, we have five kids.  As the oldest, Kamden is often on point to help us out with the chaos in our home.  She is maternal by nature, so it’s common to see her with our youngest on her hip or helping get lunches packed for the next school day. But in the carefree, long weekend we had, I saw traits in her that get swallowed up in busyness.  That time allowed her to be fully alive and fully her.

*2. It Gives Her Responsibility* – We told Kamden that this trip would only happen if she did the heavy lifting of planning and researching our time. Of course we would have gone regardless, but this permission gave her the green light to mature, take ownership and lead.  It taught her how to prioritize, how to make decisions, how to ask for help.

*3. She Sees Beautiful Stories Unfold* – We saw a black bear and her two cubs.  We saw amazing sunsets.  We met remarkable people.  We encountered challenges on hikes.  Stories that she has told to family and friends since the day we returned home.  There is real beauty in the world.  And real adventure.  And it’s longing to be explored.

*4. Love Does.  We tell our kids all the time that love will win.  In a world full of cynics and critics, we’re trying to pour loads of love out. Love isn’t simply a feeling or a sentiment.  It does stuff.  It takes action for the benefit of others.  It moves.  It chooses.  It does.  Bob taught me that in his book, and we lived it in those mountains.

Dads, we won’t get these years back.  Get a trip planned with your little (or not so little) girl.  Better yet, let her plan in it. Would love to hear how it goes.  If it’s anything like our trip, it will change your life.

Justin – @justinricklefs on Twitter.

 Christmas is upon us. Take a look at our store for some fun and meaningful gifts for Dad.

Store 2 button