Archives For Father Daughter

Love Wins, Game Over

Alan Smyth —  July 25, 2019 — Leave a comment

Do you remember a few years ago when the Boston Marathon ended tragically with a bombing? Following was my post Boston Marathon blog post which featured the amazing actions of my good friend Brent Cunningham. Please read of his incredible actions.

The story out of Boston received a lot of pub when it happened. Brent’s actions were so moving that ABC got hold of it and interviewed him. In case you missed the 20/20 ABC interview, please watch it now before you read the rest of this blog. Fast forward on this video to 3:17 to begin Brent’s story.

Watch the ABC 20/20 interview of Brent Cunningham HERE, CLICK ON THIS LINK.

Brent’s interview ended with a phrase that captured me immediately. It grabbed my heart, mind and soul and judging from the enormous feedback from around the nation, it grabbed many others as well.

The interviewer ended with a statement suggesting that people may have thought that “evil won” that day in Boston. Brent closed his interview with his striking comment which I would like to talk about here.

Brent Cunningham said, “Love wins, Game over”

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I absolutely love that statement. Short, sweet, powerful, truth.

From time to time, I hear from Dads who feel like they have already blown it with their daughter. They feel like it is too late. Their marriage has already blown up and their kids have already been affected. Things are complicated and stressful. They feel defeated.

To those Dads who are struggling and distracted. To those who have lost their way and relationships have deteriorated.  I say LOVE WINS, GAME OVER.

To those who have daughters who have clearly chosen a painful path to go down. LOVE WINS, GAME OVER. If your daughter is lost…. Go get her! Bring her back!

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I certainly know that it could be a little more complicated than a nice tag line. Things may be incredibly complex for you. But the tag line underscores a powerful truth. You need to rest in the knowledge that Love overcomes all.

Regardless of how far things may have (or will in the future) disintegrate between you and your daughter, wife or son, I know that deep down they want to be right with you. They belong in right relationship to you and they want to forgive you.

Move forward with confidence that LOVE WINS, GAME OVER.

Press on

Alan

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This project exists to empower and encourage Dads who have Daughters. If you are reading this, you are aware of our blog and other resources found at www.myfatherdaughter.com. Make sure you are subscribed to our blog from our website so that you get our posts e-mailed to you. Additionally we have produced a book entitled “Prized Possession” which represents a chorus of voices. In short, it is a road map for how to raise your daughter. Don’t forget our store found on our website where a number of fun T-shirts are for sale to lighten the mood. We also have all the Social Media accounts on Twitter, facebook, Instagram and Periscope which we use to celebrate great dads and share nuggets of wisdom.

One of the most fun and impactful things we do however is deliver a two hour live seminar aimed at Dad’s who have daughters. We call this seminar “Prized Possession” because it loosely follows our book of the same title. We have delivered this seminar to thousands of Dads and it has been very well received each time.

We have produced a brief highlight video of our seminar.  YouTube Preview Image

We would love to be invited into your community and deliver this seminar!

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“Perfect, Amazing, Awesome. You both did an awesome job.”

“I feel empowered leaving here today. Opened my eyes to women’s battles”

Alan

“Enlightening, insightful, great practical advice”

“Thought provoking, informative & eye opening”

Kristy

“Great ideas on how to be a better dad.”

“It was an eye opener to the reality of all the attacks my daughter receives daily.”

Rusty

“I feel more empowered and motivated to be the best father I can be.”

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We have heard feedback like this every time we have held this seminar. Shoot us an e-mail if your church or school wants to book this seminar at: alan@myfatherdaughter.com

We’re here to help!

Alan

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When Brittany turned 5, we had our inaugural Father/Daughter Getaway. As I was a young dad and still forming my philosophies and parenting strategies, I stumbled onto something magical. I remember it like it was yesterday when I walked into Brittany’s bedroom and announced the first ever Father/Daughter getaway. I told her that starting NOW, we were going to go on a trip together every year. I asked her where she wanted to go. I told her to think of the most fun place we could go together.

Being only 5 and living in Northern California at the time, we quickly settled on the Magic Kingdom. What better place to start this amazing tradition than Disneyland!? We recorded our Disney soundtrack to get us pumped for the 5 hour car ride. We hit the road, and sang Disney tunes the whole way to L.A.

Of course we took the obligatory picture in front of the giant Mickey made of flowers in the front of the park. This trip started a tradition that we upheld all through High School. Each year, we planned something fun together and went somewhere for a couple days. After Disneyland, we did things like hit every mall in Northern Cal completing all of our Christmas shopping (In August), horseback riding, camping and snowboarding. The granddaddy of all Father/Daughter getaways however, was Brittany and I going to Hawaii for her Spring break during her senior year.

Here is what Brittany has to say about these getaways:

“Those of you who know my dad can probably guess that horseback riding or shopping all day at the mall is not exactly on the top of his priority list, but I was, and being the amazing dad that he is, he took me on one adventure after the other and made life long memories with me.  While we had some really cool experiences together, I now understand that it was not so much what we did that had value, but it was the fact that we did them together.  In hindsight, all this time that he invested in me was building me up to become a confident, independent woman.”

Guys, take your daughters on trips. During the research for this Father/Daughter project, I heard over and over that spending this extended and concentrated time with your daughter is nothing short of “Magical,” even if you don’t go to Disneyland!

Today’s Take Away: Plan a trip with your daughter. Make sure it is at least ONE night, but more is better. Nothing can compare to the life long memories and bonding you will get from this.

After you take your trip, post a picture on our facebook page – “MyFatherDaughter.com” Make sure you subscribe to this blog at www.myfatherdaughter.com

I’d love to hear about the trip you take, drop me a note & have fun!

Alan

PS: Not long ago, I took her to Vegas to see a show. The venue of the “get a way” may change, but the principles reman constant!

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Our Job

Alan Smyth —  May 6, 2019 — Leave a comment

As men, we have lots of jobs. Hopefully we are employed and strive to do a good job at work. Providing for our family is a big job! Creating a happy, healthy home for our kids to exist and grow up in is an important job. The list could go on.

Recently I ran across this little blurb. I posted it on our “MyFatherDaughter.com” facebook page because I thought the message was powerful. (btw- have you “liked” our Facebook, Instagram & Twitter yet?) It’s a place where we post lots of pictures, this blog and other fun things.

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This picture makes a very simple, yet profound statement that I couldn’t agree with more. This blog usually focusses on our roles with our daughters. But, let’s not forget that our sons are also growing up in a brutal culture as well. They are the target of an endless assault on authentic masculinity. They are given a daily dose of false manhood and asked to comply with shallow standards of selfishness.

Popular, filthy and degrading song lyrics are offering training to our boys for how they should think about and act upon our daughters. The constant messaging is confusing for our kids. They are inundated with mixed messages of sexuality and poor images of what a healthy man is.

The picture above states perfectly what our job #1 is. And it is twofold.

1. Teach your son what a real man is.

2. Teach your daughter to accept nothing less.

You might have guessed it. All of this starts with YOU.

Some questions for you to consider:

What kind of man are you? Where do you get your marching orders? Who do you emulate? What can your son or daughter learn from you regarding how you treat women? What kind of work ethic do they see in you? Do they learn selfishness from you? Do they see you bow to a higher power and a bigger picture?

Be the kind of man that you want your son to grow into and your daughter to marry!

(Hint: that is already happening, like it or not) Our book “Prized Possession” is full of resources to help you on this journey.

Press On
Alan

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Spring Break – Scary

Alan Smyth —  April 15, 2019 — 2 Comments

We are in the season of Spring Breaks. When kids are little, “Spring Break” simply means a celebration of NO SCHOOL. And before we got all politically correct, it wasn’t even called “Spring Break.” It was called “Easter Vacation.” Either way, for kids, Spring Break started out pure and fun. It started out as time with family and friends.

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“Spring Break” now conjures up very different meanings and images. Spring break has become big business for popular destinations such as Vegas, Florida and Mexico. It is THE thing to do for thousands upon thousands of college kids.

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Is it all bad? Ummmm, well, Yep, pretty much!

For a hard hitting, honest picture of what is happening out there on Spring Breaks, check out the documentary on Netflix called “Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution.” Check out the trailer HERE. Warning, it may not be easy to watch.  But if you have a High School or college aged daughter, (or son) it is required viewing for you.

Honestly, it’s baffling to me how and why parents are letting their kids go to these types of events. I guess there is a case to be made that those “kids” who are participating are actually “adults” and can do whatever they want. To that I say, GREAT, then pay for your own college… cell phone….food… car… etc etc etc. and be a real adult!

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I certainly don’t mean to lump every kid on these trips into the lowest common denominator. But even good kids or naïve kids showing up in an environment with massive alcohol consumption, open sexual activity & exploitation, and predators of all kinds will lead to poor judgment, regret, pain or worse.

Ok, so what is my message to Dad’s out there? I’m guessing most you reading this agree with my opinion here and the overall safety of “Spring Breaks.” If not, I am totally comfortable going against the grain on this one.

My message is this:
The accepted stereo typical “Spring Break” activity is bad, unhealthy and downright scary. Especially for young women.

Start while your daughter is young creating a fun, positive tradition over “Spring Break.” Something to look forward to every year.

Create family alternatives which are more attractive than the world’s options and you will have a better chance as your kids grow older. (hint: relationship with YOU is the key. Start cultivating that relationship while she is young and while you are still a Super Hero in her eyes)

Or how about just saying “NO” to things you don’t approve of? Regardless of their legal age you will always be their parent and will always have a voice and a vote in their lives. Please don’t turn a blind eye to things you know are destructive. This makes you complicit in the eventual damage.

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For my daughters’ Sr. year “Spring Break” trip, I took her to Hawaii (just her ane I) and had her swim with the Dolphins. (her dream) Even better…. It was her idea. How could I say “no” to my 17 year old daughter wanting to go on a vacation with me?

You can do this guys. Step up and fill the void. Re-define what is fun, acceptable, available, wholesome and healthy. Be counter cultural and start at a young age!

Press On

Alan

Pick up the book “Prized Possession” for Dad’s and also a fun T-shirt or two at the links below.

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Men, we need to have a difficult conversation. There is a disturbing reality growing in our midst and we need an army of men to rise up and say, “No more. Not on my watch!” I made a career change nearly four years ago and have embraced a greater challenge than I have ever known. I have gone to work for an LA based non profit called Saving Innocence.

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We work with child victims of sex trafficking. And believe me, if that sounds bad…. The reality is far worse than it even sounds. Right under our collective noses, Human Trafficking has proliferated beyond measure and is currently the fastest growing crime in the world. Some 30 million people world wide are enslaved. Our focus is on the minors who have been caught up in this ugly criminal enterprise. The average age of entry is just TWELVE years old and experts estimate that there are as many as 300,000 children being sold for sex in the US each year. These are American born kids who are often times forced to be with between 10-20 men per day. I am not talking about Thailand or Cambodia….. I am talking about the United States of America. Within our borders in our cities and with our children.

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If you are like me, you are disgusted and repulsed right about now. How is this happening? Why is this happening? I feel as if our society is in a moral free fall. The fact that we are allowing the Commercial, Sexual, Exploitation of Children is beyond understandable and it is beyond allowable. The picture below is of one our clients waiting for her turn to testify in court against her trafficker. You can not help but notice how young she appears to be.

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So what do we do?

We respond with law enforcement around the clock, 24/7. We arrive on the scene for the recovery of a child who is being trafficked. We are with them in their most vulnerable moments advocating for their needs. We then begin case management services for as long as it takes to completely change the trajectory of this child’s life. Our goal is to give her back her childhood and turn her from victim to survivor to someone who is thriving. As you might imagine, this is a long and bumpy road.

So what can you do?

First, know about it…. This is happening. Learn about it. Understand it. See our website for more information. CLICK HERE.

Once you know about it, now care about it. (how could you not?)

Once you care about it, now do something about it. Help us raise awareness. Read up on this crime and share with your networks what is happening. Help us raise funds to recover and restore these dear children. Saving Innocence is looking for monthly donors and one time donors. If you would like to partner financially with us, click HERE. Follow us on all of our social media channels @savinginnocence. “Share” or “retweet” this blog post.

This crime needs to go away and it needs to go away right now. Please invest some time and energy in learning about it and get involved.

As for you Dad… never a better time to be fully present with your daughter. Never a better time to remind her how precious and valuable she is. Never a better time to be alert, engaged and protective. Let her know how worthy she is of a father’s love.

Rise up Men!

Alan

E-mail me Alan@savinginnocence.org if you want to talk about how to get involved or you just have some questions.

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