Archives For Father Daughter

Think it Over

Alan Smyth —  June 27, 2016 — Leave a comment

In our book Prized Possession, we pose some very important questions to consider. Below are a couple of them.

 

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“Girls are created, different than boys, to admire their fathers. Girls are made to be adored by their fathers and to adore their fathers. Their hearts are shaped for this and there is no replacing it.”

“This is the primary lens they can see God the Father through. Without a dad, God is distant and absent. Girls see God the way they see their dad. If a girl has a disinterested dad, she will sense that God is disinterested in her. If a girl senses their dad is disappointed in them, they will sense that God is also disappointed in them.”

Some questions: Dads, did you realize that your daughter will view God as she views you? Did you realize that your actions & attitudes are the personification of God in her life?

Would it change your interactions with your daughter if you thought your daughters potential faith might possibly be connected to what kind of Dad you are?

If you thought that were true, would that change your effort level as a Dad? Might that change how present you are in your daughter’s life?

Einstein

Think it over Einstein!

Alan Smyth

PS: The above quotes are found in Chapter 1 of the book “Prized Possession.”

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Muhammed

In honor of “the Greatest” whom the world lost last week.

Everyone around the world knows who Mohammed Ali is. And just about everyone knows he has at least one daughter.

However, until recently, I had never heard of his relationship with his daughters. His globally known nick name is “The Greatest.” That name refers to his incredible fighting talent. However, I would like to suggest that the term “the Greatest” might also include his advice to his daughters. See below.

The following incident took place when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were not modest. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

Muhammed and daughter

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.” Source: Taken from the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes.

Question: Have you had these kinds of conversations with your daughter? Every other message on this topic she will get throughout her day will say the opposite. She needs your voice to speak truth, wisdom, guidance and discretion into her life.

Don’t wuss out on this important job!

Alan

 

Check out or resources. We wrote a book designed to emopower, encourage and eqiuip Dad’s who have Daughters. It has been very well received. Hit the banner below to get a copy.

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I recently had a great conversation with a friend regarding the title of our book, “Prized Possession.” Without yet reading the book, he offered that the title “rubbed him the wrong way.” He went on to describe how he sees his daughter as much more than a “thing” ie. A “possession.” To which I said “ABSOLUTLY.” I happened to have a copy of the book handy and I directed him to a few key parts in the book which I will now direct you to.

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From an opening page of the book:

“Prized Possession” from the Bible

“And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession”

James 1:18b, NLT

Prized Possession from the Dictionary:

 “The biggest thing in your life, the one thing you couldn’t imagine your life without”

“Something you care for deeply above all else”

“It could be anything you cherish close to your own heart and can be worth millions or worth nothing to someone else”

Excerpt from Chapter 2

When I think of the word “possession,” I do not think of it as an inappropriate, overbearing, “possessive” ownership that isn’t healthy. Rather, I think of possession in a loving, protective way that defines my place and role in Brittany’s life, and hers in mine. “Prized Possession” is one that I hold above all else and cherish with all of my heart. It’s a treasure with deep, intrinsic value. After all, Brittany is “mine,” because God saw fit to entrust her to me as her dad. She is my responsibility and my daughter, and I would defend and protect her to the death.

Excerpt from Chapter 8 (written by my daughter)

“What are you?”

“Prized Possession!”

“And…”

“Don’t you forget it!”

When I consider the woman I am today, I realize that this small conversation played an integral part in shaping me into the person I am right now. These four lines represent a life-long conversation that has taken place between my dad and me. I never realized how powerful these words were or how lucky I was to hear them on a regular basis. My dad began this conversation before I could speak in complete sentences or comprehend what meaning it carried. These words were some of the first words added to my lexicon. To this day, there is only one answer when my dad asks the simple question, “What are you?” Without any hesitation I reply, “Prized possession.” “And…” “Don’t you forget it!” It’s second nature. It’s who I am. It’s who I will always be.

My friend came back to me, gave me a hug and said, “I get it.”

I wanted to relay this experience in case any of you had the same question. Obviously the book goes into much more explanation, but this should get you started.

I’d love to know what you thought about the book after you’ve had a chance to read it. Praying it makes a difference for many. Could be a great “Fathers’s Day” gift.

 

Bless you

Alan Smyth

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End Goal #weddingday

Alan Smyth —  March 13, 2016 — Leave a comment

I met Stu Graff over 30 years ago. He has been a friend and more importantly has done a phenomenal job in raising not one, not two, but three daughters. I felt like I had my hands full raising just one daughter. He is teaching the rest of us how to do it by excelling in raising three.

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Because I am friends with Stu & Tessa, and have known the family over the years, I can personally attest to the grace, beauty, humility, sense of humor and heart to serve in his girls. They have all turned out great and I know Stu is a very proud dad.

This past weekend, Stu reached a milestone. He achieved an end goal of sorts. He gave his oldest daughter away to another man… Stu walked down the isle with Kayla clinging to his arm. He then gave her hand to Derek and after a few words, he watched his daughter walk back down that same isle clinging to her new husband.

Graff 2

Not that we will ever stop being a parent, but our daughters wedding day is certainly a huge milestone and in some ways an end goal. Every dad dreams of this day and those thoughts are usually filled with a mixture of joy, dread, celebration, fear and maybe a little bit of loss. It’s all about your daughter choosing the right guy. Someone who will love her as much as we do. Someone who will protect and defend our daughter as we would. Someone who will honor her as a precious masterpiece like we do. I know that Stu has welcomed his new son in law to the family and Derek has “passed the test.” Whew…. One down, and two more to go! Congrats Stu, you did a GREAT job!

So here is my question….

How will your daughter know the difference between a frog and a prince?

How will your daughter be able to sniff out a fraud?

How will your daughter be able to know what a great husband should act like?

Being a woman, how will your daughter know what she should expect from a man?

You’ve probably guessed it…. Yep, the answer to all of these questions is YOU. She will see what a real man looks like by watching you. She will be able to tell the difference between authentic and fake by watching you. She will know what to expect from a great husband because of watching you. And she will expect to be treated by men in the way she has watched how you have treated and talked about women.

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The answer is YOU. So, with God’s help, lets rededicate ourselves to being the best version of ourselves that we can. Let’s be the best husband and man we can and let’s circle back with our daughters and invest in a deep way with their lives.

Your future son in law and grandkids could depend on it!

Oh, and work on your dancing skills too!

Alan
PS: Stu was a contributor to our book Prized Possession. Pick up the book using the link below and hear from Stu and others what their strategy was for raising great daughters.

 

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Post Valentines Thought

Alan Smyth —  February 15, 2016 — 2 Comments

Yesterday was Valentines Day. Or as some of my unmarried friends put it….

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“Single Awareness Day”

I wanted to pass along a brief text conversation between my daughter and I on Valentine’s Day. I certainly didn’t engage in this conversation with Brittany for the sake of this blog. I was simply wishing my daughter a happy Valentine’s Day and then convey a brief related thought. It was her response that made me chuckle and I thought it was worthy of passing along to you all. I must admit that my daughter has been a good sport through all of this. She was happy to participate in the book Prized Possession and enjoys reading this blog. At least “mostly” enjoys.

Below is the text conversation I had with Brittany on Valentine’s Day and then a couple of thoughts.

valentines text

Key Points of the TEXT

1. “Happy Valentine’s Day” (wishing her a great day)

2. “Don’t ever forget that I was your FIRST Valentine” (and love) (a little reminder never hurts, especially as she gets older)

3. “Love YOU” (again, a little reminder never hurt)

4. “Make sure dude treats you like a Princess” (she has a “guy her in her life” and I wanted to make sure to remind her that the bar is HIGH)

 5. “Princess” (We acknowledge God as King of the universe and this God thinks of her as “Daughter.” That makes her a “Princess.” A subtle reminder of who my daughter is and WHO’S she is. And to remind her to think of herself in that way.

6.  “I Know Dad” – YES! Success! She knows all of the above.

Questions for you Dads

Have you communicated these truths to your daughter? …lately? ….ever?

Are you certain that she knows these truths?

Ultimately your daughter is going to have to make her own choices and live her own life. But let’s remember that your consistent input will greatly determine the road she travels. Your love and affirmation of your daughter will be a game changer for her and set her up on a great trajectory for life.

Don’t miss out on this guys!

Press On
Alan

 

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Last Monday, I shared part 1 of an amazing experience that my friend Jamie Hanson had in Africa. In case you missed last Monday’s blog, please CLICK HERE to catch yourself up!

As promised, today is part 2 and the conclusion of the incredible promise he made to his daughter. Jamie took his daughter to Africa on a work trip and eventually gave his daughter a promise ring and made a dramatic promise to go along with it while looking at a beautiful African sunset. Read on and learn from a great Dad.

From Jamie: While I loved the idea of a purity ring the more I thought about the idea
the more the burden of fathering her through these next few years (13-18) began to grow on me.   I am convinced the most important earthly relationship she will have and that will shape every part of her is with me.  So instead of making the ring about a purity decision for her (although I did tell her I would like her to make this commitment) I made the ring a promise ring. Promises that I am making to her about the kind of father I intend and promise to be to her.

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Emma,

You are my precious daughter and a gift from God, uniquely and wonderfully made, perfect in every way.  I am honored to be your Dad!

You are incredibly beautiful, smart, funny, soft-hearted, and gifted in so many ways.

I promise to always pray for you, protect you, to be present, in the good and bad, and love you for who you are.

As your father I promise to be an example of who a Godly man is, to lead you and our family by first listening to God.  To lead with integrity, passion, adventure, service, and being generous with all God has provided.

Emma, you are my princess and I will ALWAYS carry you in my heart, for my entire life.

Love,

Daddy

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Dad’s, this is a GREAT example of being intentional about loving your daughter and creating a lifelong memory that will shape her forever. Why not steal this idea and make an important promise to your daughter? Why not give her an important ring with significance? Why not take her some place dramatic and pledge your love and support to her? It will be a game changer for her.

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Doing these things can ONLY BE GREAT and have a GREAT outcome.

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Do this! Make it your own! Change the actual promise, change the location, change the ring. As the great NIKE advertising campaign said…. “just do it”

Thanks for sharing this with us Jamie

Press on

Alan

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