Archives For Father Daughter

A while back, Benji Cowart burst onto the Social Media scene with his parody of a popular song titled “RUDE.” He rewrote a pop song origionally done by the group MAGIC! but with a protective Dad’s twist on it. Because of this blog, dozens of people shared his YOU TUBE sensation with me and said “I saw this and thought of you.”

They were correct, I loved his version and immediately began my search for this creative song writer. I found him online and we exchanged a few e-mails. I asked him if he would like to write a guest post for this blog sharing the behind the scenes story of how and why he wrote the song. Below are his words telling his story.

But first, let’s all re live the “magic” of the song that went viral. Or in case you are the one person who didn’t see it the first time, watch below and then read his words.

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In case you can’t veiw the YOUTUBE video above, hit THIS LINK.

From Benji

The first time I heard the song Rude by the band Magic!, it was recommended to me by a friend but not because of the lyric, but because of the guitar tone on the solo. Its’ always about the tone.  And he was right, the lead guitarist for Magic! has an amazing guitar tone.  It was only after listening to the song a couple of times before I started catching the story in the lyric and more specifically, the “I’m gonna marry her anyway” line.

I don’t know if it’s due to the consistent portrayal of dad’s as total boobs in the media or it’s the constant theme in the news headlines of dad’s just having to put up with blatant disrespect and not being able to do anything about it, but something rose up in me when I heard that lyric.  The song is so brilliantly hooky that I couldn’t get it out of my head and I started singing it around the house but started messing with the lyrics to make my kids laugh (which is a common “dad joke” around our house.)

The more I messed with it, the more I realized that what I was singing was kinda funny. So I looked the entire song lyric up online and downloaded Magic!’s version (paid for it…which by the way, if you’re not paying for music that you download, you are stealing it…rant over).  From there, I channeled my inner redneck and re-wrote the entire song to give a comically exaggerated version of a how the dad might respond to a young man saying “I’m gonna marry her anyway”.

The aftermath

So as I write this blog entry, the youtube video that I posted of Rude (A Dad’s Response) has over 11 million views. In the two weeks after posting it, we were phone/facetime interviewed by multiple national news affiliates, the video has been shown on all kinds of major internet websites, and it even got played on Good Morning America.  Maybe the most interesting part of this journey has been the conversation on the Youtube comments section (which I only recommend to a mature audience because it is not for the faint of heart).  I have gotten plenty of negative comments ranging from young men outright challenging me to a fight, to other Christians calling me a hypocrite because I am claiming to be a Christian who is advocating murder. IT’S A PARODY PEOPLE!!!

But there has also been an overwhelming amount of positive comments ranging from dads saying “Yes, I have a baby daughter but you just gave me a theme song for when she’s old enough to date” to comments from adult daughters saying “I am a divorcee and I wish my dad had stepped up like that when I was dating my ex-husband”.

Benji Fam

More importantly, with both negative and positive comments, there has been a conversation. A worthy conversation about dads and daughters and young men and respect.  That conversation alone has made this whole thing worth it.

As a dad, I will always protect my daughter. I hope I’ll never have to be in a situation where I’d have protect my daughter to the point of taking a life but I do know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would give my life for that little girl.  Hopefully, if I love her as I should and treat her like the treasure that she is, then the bar will be high for the kind of man that she will be drawn to some day.

Benji Cowart

 

Benji can be found on facebook and I-tunes where you can enjoy other recordings of his muisc.

 

If you want to look deeper into the convesation of raising a healthy daughter, pick up our book, “Prized Possession” by hitting the link below. We also have a fun store  to pick up some Daddy/Daughter gear.

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Know Your Row

Alan Smyth —  August 29, 2014 — Leave a comment

I have long legs and I tend to fly Southwest Airlines. Now I don’t really mind having long legs and I generally prefer flying Southwest over other carriers. There is however no real First Class Seating on these flights. So I usually go for the Early Bird Check-In to improve my options on seat selection.

Some people like to board early so they can sit in the front of the plane. They get their snacks first, they’re close to the bathroom and they are the first off the plane once it touches down. I get this strategy and the perks that come with front row seats. But, personally I am an Exit Row Guy. The leg room on the Exit Row is awesome.

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Then there is a little extra attention from the Cabin Crew and a little ceremony swearing  you in as an “Emergency Exit Row Passenger.” In the event of an emergency landing, you and your fellow Exit Row Passengers are asked to confirm that you are able and willing to assist in the deployment of the planes safety equipment. Each person is required to say Yes, out loud to the Flight Attendant.

This is all part of the package when you choose this row. If you’re a dad with a daughter, you are always sitting on the Emergency Exit Row. This is your permanent assigned seat. You might have signed up for the extra legroom and missed the Swearing In Ceremony, but it happened or it should have.  A few other reminders to help you enjoy your flight:

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All dads are Frequent Flyers. You will spend lots of time in the air. This is part of the package. In preparation for Take Off please turn off all Cell Phones along with other mobile devices. In case of turbulence the Captain will turn on the Seat Belt sign, please return to your seat. Swearing In is better than swearing. You will need to say “Yes” out loud to your duties and responsibilities. In preparation for landing please turn off your devices, put your Tray Tables up and return your seat to it’s full, upright and locked position.

If you are a dad with a daughter, Know Your Row and take your seat. When things get dicey and fellow passengers get agitated, confused or panicked, you are on duty. You have been Sworn In,  you said Yes out loud to your crew. You are not aloud to check out, freak out or blow out. You are an Emergency Exit Row Dad. So stretch out your legs, feast on your peanuts and sip your complimentary beverage.

You’re sitting in a First Class Seat

Grace & Peace Dr. Don Worcester

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On July 7, I posted THIS BLOG in response to the “Feminist Father” shirt that had recently gone around on the web. In case you missed it, please catch yourself up and read my response.

The “Feminist Father” shirt was posted again on a popular blog and hailed it as a great message. So, because I had nothing else better to do at the moment, I lobbed a few thoughts and bantered with a few people about our “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter” shirt as well as our book “Prized Possession.”

It’s safe to say that I was going against the grain with most of this particular audience. Below are a few of the excerpts.

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In response to the 10 Rules shirt picture, “Brian” said this.

“You get a f***ing lawyer you A**hole”

“She isn’t your f***ing princess either, lizard brain”

“Not a joke shirt. Actually it’s pretty condescending and demanding.”

Then “Ryan” jumped in and said this to “Brian”.

“you seem like a bit of a loser. If someone like you dated my daughter I would put that person in the hospital.”

“Alyssa” jumped in and said this.

“You obviously don’t have a daughter, your shirt screams creepy, tacky and highly disrespectful to me.”

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Then I said this.

“Alyssa – yes I have a 26 year old daughter. She thinks this is funny. She is doing fantastic out in the world. This shirt was created as a JOKE. Lots of Dads find this funny! Of course no one is endorsing actual violence or intimidation. It is HAHAHAHAHA. Thousands of Dads in 58 countries agree with me. Please read through the blog that the shirt came out of before you pass judgment.” www.myfatherdaughter.com

 

“Ron” jumped in and said this.

“Alan, I’ve seen your shirt before and absolutely love it. In a society that is horribly one-sided (as the above comments clearly show) Thank your for your bravery to stand up for what you believe in.”

Casey then joined in with this.

“I’ve got two daughters, I’m a mother and I agree! I like it. Especially #9. Hilarious. Not that I’ve been to jail…. Brian, get over yourself.”

So many responses to one silly shirt. So many takes on a parent’s responsibility. My hope and prayer is that we will have a society of Dad’s moving closer to their daughters and further embracing their God given responsibilities as Dad’s.

Press On

Alan

In honor of this spirited conversation. Hit the link below and enter “20” at check out. I will give you 20% off of your entire order in our store!

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This blog is mostly focused on helping Dad’s engage with their daughters. The three writers (Alan, Don & Kristy) all have a particular experience and passion on the topic. However, I want to take a moment and recognize how important Mom is in the equation.

Yesterday was “Mother’s Day.” Our nation paused to celebrate Mom’s. And why not? As important as Dad is to healthy kids, Mom is every bit as important but for different reasons. My Daughter Brittany who has shown up more than once in these blog posts treated the family to an incredible day to help us celebrate my wife.

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Brittany works at the Staples Center in Los Angeles where the Clippers, Lakers and Kings play their home games. She works in the sales department for their high end luxury suites and seats. She got us great seats and entrance into their exclusive “Lexus club” for an awesome brunch.

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I marveled at watching my “little girl” hard at work while we were enjoying a come-from -behind Clipper game. She was pivoting between two cell phones, a handheld radio and a magnetic badge which opened otherwise locked doors. At the end, we followed her around as she visited high end clients and troubleshot “problems.”

Britt & Sharon

One of the many highlights of the day was our family meal tradition on special days. A long time ago we started a little tradition on someone’s birthday, or in this case, Mother’s Day, where we go around the table and recount the reasons why we appreciate the person of honor. We share encouraging words and thoughts of encouragement. I won’t go into their words here, but know that both of my kids had amazing words of thanks and appreciation towards Sharon. She has had such an impact on them. She has given them so much of the stuff that I never could and they are flourishing out in the real world.

Here is my challenge: In order for your wife to be all that she can be, she needs a healthy YOU in her life. She needs a strong marriage and a man who cherishes her. She will love her children no matter what, but you can empower further greatness by working hard at being the best version of yourself and your relationship. In all humility, my daughter is great. I’d like to think I had something to do with it. But I know for sure that my wife had a ton to do with it!

Maybe the best things you can do for your kids are to love, honor, respect and cherish their mother in a great way. This will be life giving for your kids and will be a great role model for what your daughter looks for in a future mate.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the phenomenal Moms reading this blog. Your role is invaluable and we love you!

Press On
Alan

Application shirt

A dad sent me this picture of his wife wearing our “Application for Dating my Daughter” shirt which is available at our store (click below). She received this for mother’s day and is proudly wearing it here!

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Are you in a difficult season with your daughter? Maybe don’t know where to begin? Want to listen, be engaged, and invest, but you can’t seem to find the words or the space?

We surveyed teenage girls and my conversations with young women recently have echoed some of the exact same sentiments. As much as they may push you away, they want you involved!

From the mouths of girls themselves……

I wish my dad knew:

“How much I love him” and

“I’m not as tough as he might think”

 

Underneath it all – your daughters love you and they know they can push, but they need you to stay the course and keep moving forward. They want you involved even though their actions may not always show it. And, you must want to grow, or you probably wouldn’t be reading this blog.

So, where to start?

3 Phrases to use more often:

“I love you”

“Thank you”

“I’m sorry”

As I talk to girls of all ages these 3 things always tend to come up. The power of these 3 phrases is incredible, especially from fathers!  I have had multiple girls echo the need to hear each of these phrases more than they do. As I see this list I know I too need to use each of these more than I do. I need to let people know with words, not just actions that I love them. I need to say “thank you” more often for everything – people in my life should know that I appreciate them and things they do (even the little things that may seem commonplace or expected). And, I need to say “I’m sorry”. The simple words “I’m sorry” can be healing, restoring, and a salve for the wounds of the heart.

Try using these 3 phrases with your daughters this week more than normal and let us know how it goes!

Kristy Fox

We can help you with Father’s Day! Hit the links below for great gifts!

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Africa or Bust!

Alan Smyth —  January 13, 2014 — Leave a comment

Here we are at week #3 since my 12/30 New Year’s Resolution post. In that post I spoke about the three things that young women have said impacted them greatly. The last two weeks I have written  about loving your wife and living out your faith. This week I would like to further share about the #3 item in the “BIG THREE” of impacting your daughter, taking her on trips. I say “further,” because I have already shared thoughts on this topic in this blog. For some background, you can go to our archives and look for blogs entitled “Father Daughter Getaway” and “New York City.” Something I believe in greatly is taking your daughter on trips of all sizes and types as she grows up. No better way to communicate to her how valuable she is to you than getting away together.

My friend Stu has three daughters. He has done a masterful job at intentionally taking his daughters on meaningful trips. When they each turned 13, they went anywhere in the USA his daughters wanted to go. Then, when they turned 18, he took them to Africa! Here is what Stu says about this trip:

“High school senior year, we took a dad/daughter trip to Africa. I pulled them out of school and traveled to Africa for a month. Not “hotel Africa,” but “dirt floor Africa.” I pulled them out of school because in their senior year, they are really done anyway. I had to fight with the administration a bit, but they couldn’t disagree that the experience was worth more than the school they missed. The time was priceless!  Thirty days alone with my daughter; seeing the needy of the world. We also did a bit of fun stuff on the way, but 80% was visiting the poor, staying with people doing remarkable work, and giving our lives to the ”least of these.”

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These times were amazing because we talked about the things we saw, as well as life in general. My daughters were about to leave for college, and I had this unbelievable time to connect with each of them for a chunk of time. We traveled as friends, not father and daughter, because after all, they were 18!

It’s easy for dads to say, “Oh I couldn’t do that,” “I don’t get that much vacation,” “That’s too much money,” or “My daughter can’t miss school.” To all those things I say, “BS.” You are men, and you do whatever you want most of the time. Take out a loan. Take a leave from your job. I’d take a second mortgage on the house, for the experience these trips have given to us as dad and daughter.”

From Alan-If this thinking is new to you, don’t be intimidated with Africa. Start with a day trip to a water park or sports game. Then progress to an overnight somewhere close. Start small and finish big! Trust me, it’s well worth it!

Alan Smyth

Stu’s story along with many other great dad’s stories appear in chapter 7 in the Father / Daughter book, Prized Possession.

 

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