Archives For teens

From Their Perspective

kristyfox —  October 31, 2012 — Leave a comment

My desire as I post these blogs is to be a liaison between girls and the adults who care about them.  Just because I am a girl myself, I don’t claim to understand our entire gender, nor do I want to oversimplify.  However, I have spent a lot of time listening and many of the same themes continue to resurface with girls of all ages.  I would love to pass along things I am learning from girls themselves on my Wednesday posts.

We asked the question “What do you need most from your dad?” to groups of adolescent girls.

One of the most recurrent answers was the word “support”.   As much as we may all know that the girls in our lives need our support, it is not always easy to figure out what that means and how to do it well.  I want to challenge you this week to practice seeing the world through the eyes of the young girl in your life. Understanding is half of the battle as we seek to support someone – if we can seek to understand others’ perspectives – support comes far more naturally!   I think you’ll also get a pretty clear picture of just how much the girl in your life really does need you.

Another direct quote from the same question was: I need him “To love me, to not compare me to others”.  Imagine the relationship you have with them being one where they did not feel like they were compared against anyone else.   If you watched the above video, you will note that very possibly it may be the only relationship which feels like that to her in a world full of comparison.   What a gift!   What a way to support her!


4 simple things you can do today to help see things from her perspective and support her:

1) Pay attention to the “world” your daughter lives in and try to see it from her perspective.   Look at the billboards you pass, the magazines you see, the tv shows with young teenage girls, listen to the song lyrics found on your most popular “top 40” radio station and check out MTV to get an idea of the pressure surrounding her.

2)Watch this 1 minute video

3) Tell her things you love about her – things that make her uniquely her

4) Listen.   Engage your daughter in a conversation and spend time asking questions and just listening (hint to husbands: girls of any age feel supported when they someone listens to them and hears them– this goes for wives too)


Blessings to you as you seek to be a support to the girls in your life!

Kristy Fox