One of my daughters is very interested in music and this year she has
been singing with her 8th grade School Choir. She has also become
interested in playing the guitar. Now, I have owned a guitar for
years. It sits on a stand in my bedroom. I think it looks very good
sitting there. Truth be told, I am probably a little better at Owning
the guitar than playing the guitar. So when my daughter picked up the
guitar recently and strummed it ever so sweetly, we both cringed at
the “sound” it produced. On the continuum between noise and music, it
was definitely not music.
It is true that my daughter was not an experienced guitar player. In
this case however, it would have made little difference. Even a
talented musician could not produce much music from an out- of-tune guitar and this guitar was clearly out of tune.
This guitar needed some serious adjustment. If you just want volume and noise in your life, you don’t need to worry much about being in tune.
But if want to hear music and make music, expect to be adjusted on a regular basis.
Tuning requires tension. Every string is designed to produce a particular sound.
Sounds that relate to one another create music. Sounds that do not
relate to one another create noise. For the sounds to relate on a
guitar, each string must be stretched to the appropriate
tension. No tension makes the notes Flat. Too much tension makes the sounds
sharp or snaps the strings.
The right tension produces the best music.
There is a designed tension built into parenting. Do not believe the
fantasy or the fiction that your family, your marriage or your
friendships would be perfect if you could just void out the tension.
A life with no tension is a Flat Life, first you get bored, and then you get boring.
If your words have edges, and your tone is often sharp and cutting. You may In fact be wound too tight.
Do yourself a favor and avoid blaming
others or your circumstances for your tuning problem.
Good dads and good musicians work hard at staying in tune.
They listen carefully,
they make adjustments,
they practice their craft,
they learn from others with more skill and experience,
they make mistakes
and they keep playing,
they love what they do.
Self-tuning is pretty tricky business. We may over estimate our
abilities to hear ourselves and to adjust ourselves.
Are you letting other trusted friends know your life and speak into it?
Does your wife have access and influence to your heartstrings?
Are you allowing God to adjust the tension in your life?
Let’s keep listening and trusting that we can make great music with our daughters.
Grace and Peace,
Dr. Don Worcester