The Big Night Out

Dr. Don Worcester —  November 2, 2013 — 3 Comments

I was pretty excited for the big event; ” Daddy and Daughters Night.” The gala event was being sponsored by Desert Springs Christian Pre-school. My daughter, Emma was four years old. I was certain that the two of us would shine at our first big public outing.

The teacher had interviewed each child with a standard set of questions; how tall is your daddy?, how much do you think your daddy weighs?, what does your daddy do for a job? Their answers were recorded on these interview sheets and posted on the walls around the classroom. It was a cute way to hear from our young daughters and to meet the other dad’s in our class.


I was a Primary Therapist at Remuda Ranch Treatment Center. The Center was an intensive In-patient facility which specialized in treating young women with eating disorders. I looked forward to meeting the other dad’s as I entered the Open House. I did a few, semi-awkward, guy dad greetings and began to read the interviews posted on the wall. Rachel’s dad was a Policeman, she had drawn a picture of a Police car at the bottom of her interview. Katherine’s dad was a teacher at a Christian school. Then I came to Emma’s description of me. She estimated my height to be 10 feet, my weight to be 45lb’s. When asked about my job, Emma stated, ” my dad goes to work and talks to girls all day.”

The night was turning out a little different than I had expected. I wanted to clarify Emma’s statements about my “job” to the other dad’s. I did not want to sound defensive; but, Emma had clearly missed my good intentions and motives.

So here is the take away. Our intentions are important, but they will often be missed by our daughters. We can get distracted defending our intentions. We need to monitor the impact of our choices more than we need to defend our “good intentions.” To really stay connected to our daughters we need to hear from them. This tends to happen more effectively if our mouths are shut and our ears are open.

Guy Dowd, a former “Teacher of the Year” said, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Most adolescent girls will feel more loved and secure when they are listened to, rather than talked to. Learn to ask great questions and Listen as if your whole relationship depends on it; because it does.


Grace & Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester


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Dr. Don Worcester


3 responses to The Big Night Out

  1. Don,
    That is brilliant! Well said…well said…
    Do you think it is possible to learn this/these lessons before our children grow up? Oh, I hope so…I pray so…
    I know it’s too late for me…but thank God (truly) for grace and mercy!

    Your wisdom is a gift to us all.

  2. All of your posts are very good….some are really really good and some are out right great! You have the gift of wisdom and we are all the better because of “it” and you. 🙂


  3. Susan, Thanks for you’re kind words.
    I don’t think it is ever too early or too late
    for any of us to give or receive love, grace
    and mercy with our children. We have a
    “Living hope” to anchor us through the
    past and into the future. Big love from our
    family to yours!
    Grace & Peace

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