Famous Dads Write letters to their Daughters….

Time magazine asked dads to write letters to their daughters this Father’s Day.    They published some samples (like the one below) in the recent magazine (Vol 183, No 24 / 2014 p. 20) and you can find a complete posting online at http://time.com/letters-from-dad/

They are worth reading!   What a great and very simple idea and perhaps could be a fun tradition for Father’s Day, Birthdays, Holidays or an occasion to give you an excuse to put your thoughts into words.

I will guarantee you this …… those girls are saving these letters in a special place.

Dads- your kids value your words….. A LOT!   Don’t assume your kids know how you feel about them.

Excerpt from Carson Day below to his daughter Etta:

daly

Dear Etta Spaghetta,

After raising a son for three years, I was terrified of having a daughter. Then you were born, and I’ve watched you grow into a nearly two-year-old toddler… and I’m still terrified! At such a young age, I can already tell that you will have no problem figuring out what it is you want from this life and making sure you get it. While for now that means I say “NO Etta” multiple times a day, I know as you get older those words will translate into cheers of praise from your proud Pops. And even though your strong, ferocious spirit will send you soaring, I will always be here to catch you if you fall. So here is some advice from your old man: be honest, be kind, strive for a life of balance and it’s okay if you get a tattoo WHERE I CAN SEE IT.

With love,
Your terrified (but not-too-terrified so stay away boys) dad.

Daly is host and producer of NBC’s hit series ‘The Voice,’ returning this fall for a seventh season, and co-host of NBC’s TODAY show. He also hosts a morning radio program on 97.1 AMP FM.

 

Thanks for leaning in,

Kristy

 

10 Rules for DAD’S

Alan Smyth —  July 21, 2014 — 1 Comment

If you have been following this blog for a while, you have become familiar with the now, world famous, “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter” T-shirt.  We literally had interest in this shirt from over 48 countries. Apparently the idea of a Dad protecting his daughter and laying down some rules is not just an “American” cultural thing. If you have thus far missed all the hub-bub, click this link to see the blog post that went round the world and stirred an interest.

Rules Group

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In light of my publishing the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter”, a friend forwarded to me the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters.” Tony Dungy, Super Bowl winning football coach and strong Christian man gives much of his time to social & family issues. He has an effort called “All Pro Dad” which I recommend you looking at.

He recently published the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters”

  1. Love her mom – Treat her mother with respect, honor and PDA.
  2. Always be there – Quality time doesn’t happen without Quantity time.
  3. Pray for her
  4. Dance with her – Don’t wait for her wedding day.
  5. Tell her she’s beautiful – Say it over and over again.
  6. She’s a butterfly – She too will spread her wings and fly someday.
  7. Write her a hand written letter – Every year on her birthday.
  8. Give her the gift of experiences – fishing, fixing things, taking her places etc.
  9. Never miss a birthday – She won’t remember the presents you give her.
  10. Don’t be late – She will eagerly await your return home from work.

That’s a pretty good list. I wonder how you are doing against that list? Why don’t you circle a couple of those right now and make sure to DO them this coming week. Even better would be to show this list to a friend and hold each other accountable for your intentional actions. Seems like if we just “let things happen,” some of the really important things get squeezed out by the really urgent things.

I know you would agree that your daughter is “really important.” Please don’t let the urgent issues at work or life take over. Start working down the list TODAY.

Press on

Alan Smyth

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I just don’t understand! This is often a thought that leads to Passive behavior.

“Not understanding” is an almost airtight excuse for “Not acting.”

Who can blame someone for doing nothing, when they ” don’t understand?”

Ignorance after all does have some perks, it often functions as a

“get out of jail free card” in the game of Life. All of this is tied

to our belief that we cannot act on that which we do not fully

understand. It seems reasonable and rational to order things this

way. But, what if we don’t have to fully understand to take action?

What if there are some things we will only understand after we take action?

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Jana Reiss, in her book Flunking Sainthood discusses a passage of Old Testament scripture taken from Exodus chapter 24.

Moses is getting ready to read the Ten Commandments to the children of Israel.

There is a curious line in verse 7 where the people respond by saying

“ All that God has spoken we will do and we will hear.”

It seems a little backwards. The doing (to act on something) comes before

the hearing  (to understand something). This backward sounding statement suggest an important truth,

sometimes, Action precedes Understanding.

 

Only by Acting on the words God has spoken,

can we come to truly hear and understand the truth of those words in our lives.

We must Practice the truth before we fully Understand it.

We will never understand forgiveness by reading books on forgiveness,

but if you ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness you will come to understand

the cost, the depth, the power, and the beauty that is all part of forgiving.

The most important and foundational things in our lives (grace, love, marriage, faith and parenting)

all require a Leap of Action to fully understand and appreciate.

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So are you lounging or are you leaping as a dad?

If your teenage daughter tells you that, ”you just don’t understand!”

You should probably agree with her, most likely she is right.

But please know that your presence is more important than your understanding.

Do your very best to understand, but do not go away, shutdown, or go passive

because you cannot figure out or sort out all that is going on in her

head and her heart. Tell you that you don’t understand,

tell her that you are not sure how to help,

and then tell her that nothing she ever says or does will drive you out of her life.

Tell her that she is stuck with your awkward, fumbling and stumbling,

not really understanding efforts to know her and love you.

Good dads do not always understand, good dads just refuse to quit when they don’t.

Real love is stubborn it never gives up. Let’s bring the real stuff to our families and to our daughters this week.

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

 

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Colbie Caillat is a name almost every adolescent girl would know.   She is a popular singer and well liked.  She recently came out with a video that is a great video to show any woman!  Watch the below video……

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try this link if the video does not play :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

“When I shot the first scene with no hair and makeup on in front of an HD camera in my face, flashed with bright lights, everyone was watching,” she told Elle. “I thought, ‘Oh my god, I bet they’re all looking at my blemishes, thinking that I should cover them up, or that I should put some volume in my hair.’ But it also felt really cool to be on camera with zero on, like literally nothing on. And then when it got to the full hair and makeup, I actually felt gross. I was just so caked on.”  (Huffington Post)

In a world full of photoshop pictures, surgeries and make-up this is a great reminder and encouragement for the girls and women in our lives to be comfortable with who they are, as they are.

Pass this along,

Kristy Fox

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A Huge Announcement

Alan Smyth —  July 14, 2014 — 4 Comments

This is a Re-Post from an ealier BLOG. There are lots of new followers to our blog since our book was first relased. We want to make sure everyone get the back story and an opportunity to get one.

 

Friends

We have reached a milestone in the life of this “little project.” It started nearly 26 years ago when my daughter Brittany was born. As I stumbled around hoping to be a great Dad for my daughter, I learned a few things through “On the job training.” Then, my entire adult life working for Young Life has given me a front row seat into the lives of adolescents and their struggles.

Long story short, I felt compelled to record my thoughts and experiences of being a dad to my daughter. I felt led to record them all into one place and make them available to whoever might be interested. Further, I felt that getting input from dozens of other Dads, daughters and Young Life leaders would provide a unique collection of content.

Never really knowing where this was all going, I am happy to announce that the project which I spearheaded and collaborated with many others has been turned into a book. And that book is available for consumption starting right now! Let this blog post signify the release of a book I have entitled “Prized Possession.” You will have to read chapter two in order to understand where this title came from.

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Kristy Fox is a huge part of this project and her female perspective has been an invaluable component to the conversation. My voice is strong as a Dad who raised a daughter. However, her voice is strong from a woman’s perspective and has provided a strong influence. She is someone who has been intimately involved in the lives of adolescent girls for over 20 years. Kristy has contributed an important chapter in this book as she speaks about what girls are battling every day. She has also been a sounding board for the rest of the chapters as I compiled them. My own daughter, Brittany, has also contributed a chapter from her perspective.

Additionally there are dozens of veteran Dads who have shared their insights on what they did and how they approached raising their daughters. Maybe the best part of the book tho, is a chapter written by a compilation of testimonies from post teen age girls who turned out great. I asked them “what did your dad do?” “What impacted you?” You will hear from awesome women what their dad did well. You will want to steal what you hear them say.

We have no real commercial goals for this book. Well, I’d love to break even on it if I can. Beyond that, I have no idea. The point of this project was not to become a “best seller” and make a lot of money. The point was to gather important voices and share important insights on a very important topic. My hope is that this book becomes a resource for Dads who are looking for a little encouragement and practical help for the sake of a healthy daughter who gets what she deserves. It is irrelevant whether 1 or 1 million people read this book. I am just doing what I believe I was asked to do by pulling it all together.

If you care to order this book, hit the banner below. There is also a button on our website to be used in purchasing the book as well. If you believe this topic is as important as I do, then I would ask you to forward this e-mail to everyone you know,  “share” it on your facebook, “tweet” it on twitter and ask people you know to check it out on our website. I want a lot of Dads to participate in this conversation because I believe there is some greats stuff on the pages which will make a difference in the lives of little girls. Thanks for your help in spreading the word!

May God bless you in your parenting and may God use the words recorded in this book to empower Dads and bless the little girls they love.

Bless you

Alan Smyth

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Thirsty

Dr. Don Worcester —  July 11, 2014 — 3 Comments

” I am thirsty daddy”, this request was a predictable part of the bed

time routine with my oldest daughter. On some nights it was probably a

bit of a “stall tactic” but not one that I really minded.

What Father does not want his thirsty daughter to drink and be

satisfied? Little thirsty girls become older girls and then young

women. Their thirst will grow with them. They are designed and

intended to navigate these developing thirsts over the course of their

lives. Thirst is not the enemy; it’s the mechanism that draws them

into deeper truth and genuine satisfaction.

Young girls are designed to thirst for a real identity, a real source

of comfort, a real source of contribution that reflects their unique

hearts, gifts and calling. They are designed to thirst for a True Love

and for a relationship that is animated and defined by that love.

These are good thirst. They will pulled, prodded and drawn by these

thirst toward that which truly satisfies.

This will be uncomfortable for them and for us as their fathers. It is

also necessary, important and good that they make this journey.

In his classic work, the Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis describes

this tension in a scene from The Silver Chair. Jill has been

unexpectedly  swept into this  new Landscape and is left to navigate

her deep thirst, the cool clear stream and the Mighty Lion, Aslan.

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“Are you not thirsty?” said the lion.

“I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill.

“Then drink,” said the Lion.

“May I, could I, would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill.

The lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at it’s motionless bulk,

she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.

The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

“ Will you promise not to—do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill.

“I make no promises” said the Lion.

Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.

“Do you eat little girls?” she said.

“ I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,” said the lion.

It didn’t say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.

“I dare not come and drink,” said Jill.

“Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.

“Oh dear!” said Jill, coming a step nearer. “ I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”

“There is no other stream,” said the Lion.

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Our daughters will outgrow their Sippy Cups and Night Lights. They

will come to a place in their journey where they must get to the Real

Source of Life. They will need Living Water to satisfy their deep

thirst. They will need to find their courage, they will need to risk

and trust the one who invites them to “Come and to drink”. There is no

other stream for them or for us.

Grace & Peace

Dr. Don Worcester

 

Our book, Prized Possession can help

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