Venting

Dr. Don Worcester —  July 3, 2015 — Leave a comment

Things that get hot, need to vent. When little things get hot ( think Microprocessors in your Laptop) they need to vent.

When big things get hot ( think Planet Earth ) they also need to vent.

venting earth

Some venting is barely noticeable,
while other venting makes for great Disaster movies.
There is probably lots of venting going on in your home, Clothes dryers, fireplaces, microwaves and automobiles all come designed with venting systems to safely remove the heat, the smoke and the fumes that are part of daily living.

Dads also heat up. Being a parent, a provider and a leader puts lots of stress and strain on mortal men who are leaning in to find the insight and the energy to stay loving and faithful as husbands and fathers.
Heat is a natural by product of movement and energy. The goal is not to stop the heat but to vent it appropriately. So let me ask you a question, what does your Dad Venting System look like?

Do you build up and then blow up?
Do you withhold and withdraw?
Do you get silent and pouty?
Do you get critical and sarcastic?
Do you have a Combination System that does different things on different days?

We need to keep track of our Venting. I have recently become aware of my own bad Venting Habit. I grumble. It’s embarrassing, but it’s true. It’s a sideways form of complaining and moaning. The general public would barely notice it, but my daughters do. Grumbling is a lousy way to vent, it is a habit I want to lose!
How about you?
Paul encouraged the believers in Philippi to guard their hearts and their minds by thinking about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Paul did lots more rejoicing and lots less grumbling than I seem to do. Just maybe, he was onto something!
The people around you probably see your Venting Habits more clearly than you do. Have you asked them lately what they see? Lets keep learning, growing and loving. Let’s work to keep the Disasters in the movie theaters and the good stuff in our homes.

Grace & Peace,
Dr. Don Worcester

We have had some great feedback on our book aimed at Dad’s with Daughters. Available in hard, soft and e-book. click below to get your copy.

Book Banner

Store 2 button

Thirsty

Dr. Don Worcester —  June 26, 2015 — 5 Comments

” I am thirsty daddy”, this request was a predictable part of the bed

time routine with my oldest daughter. On some nights it was probably a

bit of a “stall tactic” but not one that I really minded.

What Father does not want his thirsty daughter to drink and be

satisfied? Little thirsty girls become older girls and then young

women. Their thirst will grow with them. They are designed and

intended to navigate these developing thirsts over the course of their

lives. Thirst is not the enemy; it’s the mechanism that draws them

into deeper truth and genuine satisfaction.

Young girls are designed to thirst for a real identity, a real source

of comfort, a real source of contribution that reflects their unique

hearts, gifts and calling. They are designed to thirst for a True Love

and for a relationship that is animated and defined by that love.

These are good thirst. They will pulled, prodded and drawn by these

thirst toward that which truly satisfies.

This will be uncomfortable for them and for us as their fathers. It is

also necessary, important and good that they make this journey.

In his classic work, the Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis describes

this tension in a scene from The Silver Chair. Jill has been

unexpectedly  swept into this  new Landscape and is left to navigate

her deep thirst, the cool clear stream and the Mighty Lion, Aslan.

Lion

 

“Are you not thirsty?” said the lion.

“I’m dying of thirst,” said Jill.

“Then drink,” said the Lion.

“May I, could I, would you mind going away while I do?” said Jill.

The lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And as Jill gazed at it’s motionless bulk,

she realized that she might as well have asked the whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.

The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

“ Will you promise not to—do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill.

“I make no promises” said the Lion.

Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.

“Do you eat little girls?” she said.

“ I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,” said the lion.

It didn’t say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.

“I dare not come and drink,” said Jill.

“Then you will die of thirst,” said the Lion.

“Oh dear!” said Jill, coming a step nearer. “ I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.”

“There is no other stream,” said the Lion.

images-9

 

Our daughters will outgrow their Sippy Cups and Night Lights. They

will come to a place in their journey where they must get to the Real

Source of Life. They will need Living Water to satisfy their deep

thirst. They will need to find their courage, they will need to risk

and trust the one who invites them to “Come and to drink”. There is no

other stream for them or for us.

Grace & Peace

Dr. Don Worcester

 

Our book, Prized Possession can help

Book Banner

Store 2 button

“The List”

kristyfox —  June 24, 2015 — Leave a comment

ballet-dancers-2

The name Mohamed El-Erian has been in the news, online and on the radio this past year -it seems that Mohamed El-Erian resigned from his powerful, prestigious, very high paying position as CEO  due primarily to his daughter reminding him what is important.

It sounds as if the story went something like this….he asked his 10 year old daughter to something and she wouldn’t listen. When he pressed her and asked why she wasn’t listening to him she marched off to get “the list”….She came back and confronted him with a long list of things he a missed out on.

“The list contained 22 items, from her first day at school and first soccer match of the season to a parent-teacher meeting at a Halloween parade. And the school year wasn’t over.”

He added: “I felt awful and got defensive: I had a good excuse for each missed event! Travel, important meetings, an urgent phone call, sudden to-dos… But it dawned on me that I was missing an infinitely more important point.
As much as I could rationalize it – as I had rationalized it – my work-life balance had gotten way out of whack, and the imbalance was hurting my very special relationship with my daughter. I was not making nearly enough time for her.”

Providing for our families is an important task and most of us cannot afford to quit our jobs or work part time to spend more time with our families. However, lets not miss the point of checking our work-life balance. We all can easily get out of whack and miss the most important things that are happening right around us. You can’t always make every event – but let’s not let our pursuit of things and status take precedence over our pursuit of relationships.

Relationships are our most valuable commodity, let’s not trade them.

Thanks for leaning in,

Kristy Fox

Book Banner

Store 2 button

Today we celebrate the anniversary of the following blog. Surprisingly it went viral after Father’s Day.  We were then flooded with interest for T-shirts. Dads have been sending in pictures of themselves, in their shirts along with their daughters. We have been posting some of them on our facebook page entitled “Myfatherdaughter.com” Many more people are now following this blog. This light hearted shirt is bringing thousands of Dads further into the important conversation of their role with their daughter. Take a look and join us!

 

On February 18th, I wrote a funny little blog about the “rules for dating my daughter.” I chuckled as I wrote it and never dreamed how much buzz it would receive. Through the magic of Social Media, it was by far the most read, passed around and commented on blog in the life of this little project. The concept of a Dad issuing his ground rules for dating his daughter seemed to unite the entire tribe of Fathers! I’m guessing those rules are what all of us have been thinking but didn’t think we could actually ever say it. In case you missed the February 18th blog or would just like to refresh yourself, go ahead and click HERE to see it again.

Some of the feedback I received was around the actual rules. I heard things like “Who is making the T-shirt?” “I need that shirt” and “Dear God, get me that shirt.” Now, I am not in the apparel business. I’m not even in the blogging business. I am a Young Life Regional Director trying to reach lost kids in LA. It just so happens that due to my experience as a Young Life leader and as a parent, I might have a thing or two to say about being a Dad.

In an effort to give the people what they are clamoring for, I have made these shirts depicting the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter.” There are also a few other fun shirts in the same theme on our store.

shirt
(Contents of “Rules” T-shirt protected under applicable copyright laws)

I’m pretty sure this is how Nike got started, but my goals are not quite as lofty. At first I made a few dozen shirts and gave a few away. Now I am selling them to whoever wants one. The cost is $19.95 per shirt (more for bigger sizes) Then add shipping & handling of course. It’s a heavy cotton shirt. No sheer, light gauge material for me. Real men wear heavy T-shirts!

 

If you want a shirt or two, visit our online store. Click the button below:

Store 2 button

This whole thing is funny to me!

Have Fun!

Alan Smyth

Check out our book desinged to help Dads

Book Banner

PS: Below Stu Graff has already found a great use for his shirt. He pinned it to his front door while his daughter was out on a date.

20130329-101007.jpg

This Sunday is Father’s Day. I think it’s great that dads get an

official shout out one day a year. I am looking forward to the

pancakes and coffee that my two sweet daughters traditionally “surprise”

me with each year on this special day. There will probably be

a little gift bag with a few cool but total unnecessary gadgets that I

have been wanting; one more flashlight, a new fishing lure, a quality

cigar, a new work out shirt and a sweet card with wonderful words from

my amazing wife. I am a blessed man.

images-1

By about 11:00 AM the Dad Party will be over and I will head out to

mow the yard, run by Home Depot for something and pick up some chicken or steaks on the way home to grill out that night. I plan to enjoy the

whole day. There is lots and lots of good in being a dad, but not usually

much glitz or glamor.

Part of the blessing and the burden of being a dad is deciding what matters most to us on a day-to-day basis.

We can decide to focus on our calling or on our comfort. It is a daily decision and a pretty important one.

On our best days we may have a clear sense of the joy and commitment to our calling as fathers.

On other days we may drift into a greater concern or commitment to our own comfort. Our spirit is often willing and our flesh is

generally weak. So it’s pretty important for us to keep grace and truth circulating through our lives.

A few questions you might consider heading into Father’s Day.

Do you think and pray more about your calling or your comfort as a dad?

What are your Comfort Expectations as a dad?

I want to be comfortable

I expect to be comfortable

I need to be comfortable

I deserve to be comfortable

I am committed to being comfortable

 

It is easy to remain “hazy” on our calling while being crystal clear with our comforts.

This turns out to be pretty convenient when it comes to avoiding the uncomfortable and the inconvenient in our roles as husbands and fathers.

Let’s not surrender our convictions and commitments at the Altar of Convenience.

Comfort is not a requirement when it comes to doing the right thing.

Enjoy your pancakes, your flashlights, your slippers, ties, cigars and fishing lures this Sunday.

Let’s have some big fun on our big day. We are Fathers and there is much to celebrate.

Let’s also embrace the big call and deep joy of loving and serving our wives and daughters.

images

Happy Father’s Day

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

 

     

 

Keep Going!

kristyfox —  June 17, 2015 — Leave a comment

Not long ago I said something to a friend about the importance of a dad’s voice in the life of their daughter and a girl’s desire to hear from her dad. The man I was talking to said “even my teenager?” It can get difficult in the teenage years. But yes, your daughter still needs to hear from you (and perhaps maybe even more so now).

I read the below story from a book called Sticky Faith which demonstrates this.

“Plus, we can’t assume that just because our kids say they don’t want to talk to us, they really mean it. I’ll never forget hearing the story of Jin, a pretty rough seventeen-year-old whose single dad sent her to a Christian school in hopes that it would “straighten her out.” Whether it was because her friends were going or because she warmed up to “the whole God thing,” Jin signed up for the school’s spring break mission trip to Guatemala.

Jin ended up sitting on the flight next to Joe, the school’s campus pastor. For the first few hours, Jin was her normal tough self. She put on her earphones and mostly ignored Joe. He tried to ask her questions about her family, but Jin summarized her relationship with her dad by saying, “I asked him to leave me alone. And he has.”

Throughout the mission trip, the Lord worked in Jin and she softened. By the end of the trip, she confessed to Joe through her tears, “I wish my dad had not done what I asked. I wish he hadn’t left me alone.” (p 83)

I too wish he hadn’t done what she asked. I bet in retrospect, her dad wished he hadn’t either. I can imagine that he thought he was doing the right thing by leaving her alone.

It’s tough to keep at a relationship when it feels like you are swimming upstream.

fish

However, it’s usually the things that don’t come easy that end up to be really amazing. This situation is not all that unique – I have heard this from girls before.

They often are seeing if you will fight for them, pursue them, and not give up on them.

Keep at it dads. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s well worth it.

Yes, even your teenagers want to hear from you!

 

~ Kristy Fox

 

 

 

Book Banner

Store 2 button