It takes a particular kind of energy to walk,

it takes a different kind of energy to wait,

and God invites us to do both.

We cannot really follow God by just walking or by just waiting.

We have to be able and willing to do both if we are to stay in step with his leading.


This is not the first time God asked his people to walk and to wait as he leads and directs.

The Israelites followed the Glory of God through the wilderness for an entire generation. The process was very clear and very simple. When the Cloud moves the people follow, when the cloud stops the people stop.

We are always invited to travel with God. He is the one leading our journey.



He initiates a direction, purpose and a plan for our lives. We are invited to cooperate and participate in the life he reveals.

The Israelites were not wandering in the desert,

they were walking and they were waiting as God led them through the wilderness. The desert was never intended to be their final destination. It was their training ground for a bigger and better life that God was preparing for them.


Jesus also asks his disciples to get ready for a bigger life. This bigger life requires a dual capacity for walking and for waiting.

The invitation is always the same; it is shockingly clear and simple, “Follow me.” However big the wilderness and however long the journey these are the two words that compel us and constrain us as we walk and as we wait towards the bigger life ahead. The desert is a temporary preparation and not our final destination.


Some people have a strong preference for Walking. They just feel better when they are moving and the scenery is changing. The further they go the better they feel. They enjoy and expect a fast pace and a clear direction. Walking is a God given ability and every ability has a potential liability. Walkers don’t like to wait, and that is their liability. The ability to lead is always dependent on the willingness to follow and sometimes on the willingness to wait.


Some people are exceptional at Waiting. They feel most peaceful, most comfortable and most content in a waiting and reflective mode. They are Leary of excessive walking and moving about.

They are quick to recall past mistakes associated with action steps. Waiting feels more prudent and reduces the possibility of false starts and dead ends. How much better it would be if Jesus had only said, “sit with me” instead of “follow me.” Followers are invited to follow, not to lead and not to sit, but to follow the one who called them.


Good dads know that sometimes they are called to Walk.

To walk into a hard situation.


To walk after a disinterested daughter,


To walk with your wife through conflict and tension.


Good Dads also know how to Wait.



To wait for the right moment to approach and engage,

To wait for the Lord to open a door or soften a heart,

To wait for a daughter who is stuck, mad or hurt by things you did not cause and cannot fix.


So let’s get ready to walk and let’s get ready to wait.

This is a bigger life somewhere out in front of our daughters and us.

Let’s not miss it!


Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester


Keep at It!

kristyfox —  October 7, 2015 — Leave a comment

Not long ago I said something to a friend about the importance of a dad’s voice in the life of their daughter and a girl’s desire to hear from her dad. The man I was talking to said “even my teenager?” It can get difficult in the teenage years. But yes, your daughter still needs to hear from you (and perhaps maybe even more so now).

I read the below story from a book called Sticky Faith which demonstrates this.

“Plus, we can’t assume that just because our kids say they don’t want to talk to us, they really mean it. I’ll never forget hearing the story of Jin, a pretty rough seventeen-year-old whose single dad sent her to a Christian school in hopes that it would “straighten her out.” Whether it was because her friends were going or because she warmed up to “the whole God thing,” Jin signed up for the school’s spring break mission trip to Guatemala.

Jin ended up sitting on the flight next to Joe, the school’s campus pastor. For the first few hours, Jin was her normal tough self. She put on her earphones and mostly ignored Joe. He tried to ask her questions about her family, but Jin summarized her relationship with her dad by saying, “I asked him to leave me alone. And he has.”

Throughout the mission trip, the Lord worked in Jin and she softened. By the end of the trip, she confessed to Joe through her tears, “I wish my dad had not done what I asked. I wish he hadn’t left me alone.” (p 83)

I too wish he hadn’t done what she asked. I bet in retrospect, her dad wished he hadn’t either. I can imagine that he thought he was doing the right thing by leaving her alone.

It’s tough to keep at a relationship when it feels like you are swimming upstream.


However, it’s usually the things that don’t come easy that end up to be really amazing.

This situation is not all that unique – I have heard this from girls before.

They often are seeing if you will fight for them, pursue them, and not give up on them.

Keep at it dads. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s well worth it.

Yes, even your teenagers want to hear from you!


~ Kristy Fox




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Perfectionism |pərˈfek sh əˌnizəm|


Refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.


Perfectionism is a beautiful and dangerous trap for many young girls. It often comes camouflaged as high standards, excellence or healthy ambition. It is critical to discern the difference between what is productive and what is destructive in areas of appearance, performance and goal setting in the lives of our children.

There are a few things we can and should do with our daughters to support the productive expression of their beauty and worth.


Check Your Own Heart and Thinking

What you model will be more important than what you say. Are you willing to acknowledge your own limitations and mistakes? A good role model is honest and open about their abilities and their limitations. If we are trying too hard to be perfect as fathers, we may become defensive when our flaws spill out. A great dad is not a perfect dad. A great dad knows that he is loved and called by a Father who is Perfect. Saint Ignatius celebrated the ability of God to, “ draw a straight line with a crooked stick.” Crooked sticks and crooked dads are always welcome in God’s family.


Differences Are Not Defects

Your daughter is an original. She is not a copy of anyone else. Elvis Presley began his singing career by delivering his demo records to local radio stations. A receptionist at one station asks him whom he sounded like, after a slight pause Elvis said, “me”.

Elvis was a true original, no comparison necessary. Help your daughter discover and enjoy the original beauty of her design.


Keep Up With the Inside

What we do matters. The why behind what we do, really matters. Exercise can be a healthy activity or a destructive obsession. Good grades can be an affirmation of ability and hard work or a stressful self-imposed marker for value and self-worth.

Attention to personal appearance can be an appropriate expression of self-care or an agonizing competition for love and acceptance. We need to keep up with our daughter’s hearts and not just their habits. Pay attention to the inside and you can enjoy and celebrate whatever is happening on the outside.



Keep Looking Up

Perfection belongs to God alone. Our confidence, our identity and our peace are not tied to a Perfect Performance but to a Perfect Love. Lets help our daughters’ accept that they are accepted, no performance required. Let’s help them feel beautiful before they look “pretty.” Let’s help them live boldly, to take their best shot, to swing away, to dance in the kitchen, and to be gripped by joy rather than strangled by fear.  Enjoy your daughter today.


Grace & Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester


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Actions Speak!

Alan Smyth —  September 28, 2015 — Leave a comment

Yes, we should be giving lots of verbal instruction all the time. However let’s not forget the pecking order of impact. The picture below spells it out perfectly.

father lived

Today’s message is a very quick and simple one. Our actions speak much louder than our words. Of course we should relay lots of verbal instruction. Words are important. They are powerful. We should use them intentionally and wisely. However, people will watch our actions to see if our words are trustworthy. You can turn your words into nothing more than a joke with contradictory actions.

This is never truer in the lives of your kids. Live a life of integrity, presence and honor and your kids will listen to what you have to say. Be absent, angry and dis honorable and you will lose your kids. (And wife, friends, family & coworkers)

YOU are the first and best class room your daughter will ever attend. Make sure the lessons you are living out are consistent, life giving and productive.

Another way to say it is:

“Lead always and when necessary use words”

Talk is cheap friends. Your kids are watching even when you don’t think they are! They will follow your example in spite of what you say.

Press On

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A Voice That Carries

Alan Smyth —  September 22, 2015 — Leave a comment

I was recently contacted by a phenominal group of women who are working on what looks to be an amazing project. The content matter immediately resonates with us at MyFatherDaughter and our audience. For that reason, they asked if I would mind helping them promote their project and the documentary they are working on. I have seen the trailer and this looks to be a very worthy project. Please read on and go to their website to learn even more. Thank you – Alan



As a group of women who treat individuals who struggle with body image and disordered eating, we wanted to make a difference. As mothers, we wanted to make an impact on the world for our daughters and for all girls, helping them to grow up in a world where they could feel good about themselves and how they looked.


Much of the research on healthy body image development focuses on the importance of the mother and daughter relationship. Most of us have heard how important it is for moms to be a good role model about appearance by trying to not make negative comments about their own appearance and being a healthy role model. As professionals, we had frequently shared the importance of this relationship in our own outreach programs ad presentations.

        But, what about dads?

As treatment professionals, we realized that the value of the father and daughter relationship is often overlooked. As we researched, we found countless studies showing the great importance and impact the father daughter relationship can have. We recognized that fathers’ truly can make an amazing positive impact in their daughter’s life that can protect them from the countless media messages they will receive that will tell them they need to look a certain way or that they don’t look good enough. Father’s play a great role in their daughter’s sense of self and body image.

But, many dads may not have this awareness and those that do may not know how best to act.

We also knew there were many amazing stories out there about father’s making a positive impact on their daughter’s life and body image. Kelly Flanagan, who is featured on our teasers, wrote a letter to his daughter about the multiple messages she will receive about beauty and appearance. In his letter, he wrote about challenging these messages and being true to her self. The letter went viral.

We knew these stories had to be shared. We knew that fathers needed to be made aware of the amazing impact they can have on their daughters

This was the impetus for our desire to create the documentary “A Voice That Carries.” Through stories from fathers and daughters, our documentary hopes to show every father and father figure, the important role they play in their daughter’s life and how they can help foster a positive body image. Our goal is to provide education and inspire others to take positive action. We hope that this film sparks a movement to provide greater awareness of the important role a father plays.

We are beyond excited and honored to have Brett Culp, an award-winning filmmaker of Legends of the Knight, as our filmmaker for this project. His vision and story telling ability will help share these stories in a powerful manner.

Now, all we need is your support and your stories. If you have a story you would like to share, we would love to hear from you. Please visit our website at or follow us on twitter:

For more information on our campaign, please go to


Thank you very much!

Heidi Limbrunner




A friend tagged me in this article saying that “Alan Smyth will love this.” She was correct. I did love this. I loved it so much that I wanted to re post it here so you could see it as well.

The below post originally appeared on


Dear Little One,

As I write this, I’m sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. And now that I’m sitting here, I’m beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like:

Affordably gorgeous,


Flawless finish,

Brilliant strength,

Liquid power,

Go nude,


Instant age rewind,

Choose your dream,

Nearly naked, and

Natural beauty.

When you have a daughter, you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house — a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won’t see her that way. They’ll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they’ll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence.

make up isle

But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father’s words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty.

A father’s words aren’t different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning:

Brilliant strength. May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heart. May you discern in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.

Choose your dream. But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.

Naked. The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon.

Infallible. May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn’t exist. It’s an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace — for yourself, and for everyone around you.

Age-defying. Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit.

Flawless finish. Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawless finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you.

Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I will surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you — the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: “Where are you the most beautiful?” Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.

Where are you the most beautiful?

On the inside.

From my heart to yours,



Alan Smyth and Kristy Fox have appeared on the Hugh Hewitt radio show

Hugh Hewitt

Our Interview can be heard on the home page of our website:


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