Venting

Dr. Don Worcester —  July 25, 2014 — Leave a comment

Things that get hot, need to vent. When little things get hot ( think Microprocessors in your Laptop) they need to vent.

When big things get hot ( think Planet Earth ) they also need to vent.

venting earth

Some venting is barely noticeable,
while other venting makes for great Disaster movies.
There is probably lots of venting going on in your home, Clothes dryers, fireplaces, microwaves and automobiles all come designed with venting systems to safely remove the heat, the smoke and the fumes that are part of daily living.

Dads also heat up. Being a parent, a provider and a leader puts lots of stress and strain on mortal men who are leaning in to find the insight and the energy to stay loving and faithful as husbands and fathers.
Heat is a natural by product of movement and energy. The goal is not to stop the heat but to vent it appropriately. So let me ask you a question, what does your Dad Venting System look like?

Do you build up and then blow up?
Do you withhold and withdraw?
Do you get silent and pouty?
Do you get critical and sarcastic?
Do you have a Combination System that does different things on different days?

We need to keep track of our Venting. I have recently become aware of my own bad Venting Habit. I grumble. It’s embarrassing, but it’s true. It’s a sideways form of complaining and moaning. The general public would barely notice it, but my daughters do. Grumbling is a lousy way to vent, it is a habit I want to lose!
How about you?
Paul encouraged the believers in Philippi to guard their hearts and their minds by thinking about things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Paul did lots more rejoicing and lots less grumbling than I seem to do. Just maybe, he was onto something!
The people around you probably see your Venting Habits more clearly than you do. Have you asked them lately what they see? Lets keep learning, growing and loving. Let’s work to keep the Disasters in the movie theaters and the good stuff in our homes.

Grace & Peace,
Dr. Don Worcester

We have had some great feedback on our book aimed at Dad’s with Daughters. Available in hard, soft and e-book. click below to get your copy.

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Famous Dads Write letters to their Daughters….

Time magazine asked dads to write letters to their daughters this Father’s Day.    They published some samples (like the one below) in the recent magazine (Vol 183, No 24 / 2014 p. 20) and you can find a complete posting online at http://time.com/letters-from-dad/

They are worth reading!   What a great and very simple idea and perhaps could be a fun tradition for Father’s Day, Birthdays, Holidays or an occasion to give you an excuse to put your thoughts into words.

I will guarantee you this …… those girls are saving these letters in a special place.

Dads- your kids value your words….. A LOT!   Don’t assume your kids know how you feel about them.

Excerpt from Carson Day below to his daughter Etta:

daly

Dear Etta Spaghetta,

After raising a son for three years, I was terrified of having a daughter. Then you were born, and I’ve watched you grow into a nearly two-year-old toddler… and I’m still terrified! At such a young age, I can already tell that you will have no problem figuring out what it is you want from this life and making sure you get it. While for now that means I say “NO Etta” multiple times a day, I know as you get older those words will translate into cheers of praise from your proud Pops. And even though your strong, ferocious spirit will send you soaring, I will always be here to catch you if you fall. So here is some advice from your old man: be honest, be kind, strive for a life of balance and it’s okay if you get a tattoo WHERE I CAN SEE IT.

With love,
Your terrified (but not-too-terrified so stay away boys) dad.

Daly is host and producer of NBC’s hit series ‘The Voice,’ returning this fall for a seventh season, and co-host of NBC’s TODAY show. He also hosts a morning radio program on 97.1 AMP FM.

 

Thanks for leaning in,

Kristy

 

10 Rules for DAD’S

Alan Smyth —  July 21, 2014 — 1 Comment

If you have been following this blog for a while, you have become familiar with the now, world famous, “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter” T-shirt.  We literally had interest in this shirt from over 48 countries. Apparently the idea of a Dad protecting his daughter and laying down some rules is not just an “American” cultural thing. If you have thus far missed all the hub-bub, click this link to see the blog post that went round the world and stirred an interest.

Rules Group

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In light of my publishing the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter”, a friend forwarded to me the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters.” Tony Dungy, Super Bowl winning football coach and strong Christian man gives much of his time to social & family issues. He has an effort called “All Pro Dad” which I recommend you looking at.

He recently published the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters”

  1. Love her mom – Treat her mother with respect, honor and PDA.
  2. Always be there – Quality time doesn’t happen without Quantity time.
  3. Pray for her
  4. Dance with her – Don’t wait for her wedding day.
  5. Tell her she’s beautiful – Say it over and over again.
  6. She’s a butterfly – She too will spread her wings and fly someday.
  7. Write her a hand written letter – Every year on her birthday.
  8. Give her the gift of experiences – fishing, fixing things, taking her places etc.
  9. Never miss a birthday – She won’t remember the presents you give her.
  10. Don’t be late – She will eagerly await your return home from work.

That’s a pretty good list. I wonder how you are doing against that list? Why don’t you circle a couple of those right now and make sure to DO them this coming week. Even better would be to show this list to a friend and hold each other accountable for your intentional actions. Seems like if we just “let things happen,” some of the really important things get squeezed out by the really urgent things.

I know you would agree that your daughter is “really important.” Please don’t let the urgent issues at work or life take over. Start working down the list TODAY.

Press on

Alan Smyth

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I just don’t understand! This is often a thought that leads to Passive behavior.

“Not understanding” is an almost airtight excuse for “Not acting.”

Who can blame someone for doing nothing, when they ” don’t understand?”

Ignorance after all does have some perks, it often functions as a

“get out of jail free card” in the game of Life. All of this is tied

to our belief that we cannot act on that which we do not fully

understand. It seems reasonable and rational to order things this

way. But, what if we don’t have to fully understand to take action?

What if there are some things we will only understand after we take action?

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Jana Reiss, in her book Flunking Sainthood discusses a passage of Old Testament scripture taken from Exodus chapter 24.

Moses is getting ready to read the Ten Commandments to the children of Israel.

There is a curious line in verse 7 where the people respond by saying

“ All that God has spoken we will do and we will hear.”

It seems a little backwards. The doing (to act on something) comes before

the hearing  (to understand something). This backward sounding statement suggest an important truth,

sometimes, Action precedes Understanding.

 

Only by Acting on the words God has spoken,

can we come to truly hear and understand the truth of those words in our lives.

We must Practice the truth before we fully Understand it.

We will never understand forgiveness by reading books on forgiveness,

but if you ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness you will come to understand

the cost, the depth, the power, and the beauty that is all part of forgiving.

The most important and foundational things in our lives (grace, love, marriage, faith and parenting)

all require a Leap of Action to fully understand and appreciate.

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So are you lounging or are you leaping as a dad?

If your teenage daughter tells you that, ”you just don’t understand!”

You should probably agree with her, most likely she is right.

But please know that your presence is more important than your understanding.

Do your very best to understand, but do not go away, shutdown, or go passive

because you cannot figure out or sort out all that is going on in her

head and her heart. Tell you that you don’t understand,

tell her that you are not sure how to help,

and then tell her that nothing she ever says or does will drive you out of her life.

Tell her that she is stuck with your awkward, fumbling and stumbling,

not really understanding efforts to know her and love you.

Good dads do not always understand, good dads just refuse to quit when they don’t.

Real love is stubborn it never gives up. Let’s bring the real stuff to our families and to our daughters this week.

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

 

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Colbie Caillat is a name almost every adolescent girl would know.   She is a popular singer and well liked.  She recently came out with a video that is a great video to show any woman!  Watch the below video……

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try this link if the video does not play :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

“When I shot the first scene with no hair and makeup on in front of an HD camera in my face, flashed with bright lights, everyone was watching,” she told Elle. “I thought, ‘Oh my god, I bet they’re all looking at my blemishes, thinking that I should cover them up, or that I should put some volume in my hair.’ But it also felt really cool to be on camera with zero on, like literally nothing on. And then when it got to the full hair and makeup, I actually felt gross. I was just so caked on.”  (Huffington Post)

In a world full of photoshop pictures, surgeries and make-up this is a great reminder and encouragement for the girls and women in our lives to be comfortable with who they are, as they are.

Pass this along,

Kristy Fox

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A Huge Announcement

Alan Smyth —  July 14, 2014 — 4 Comments

This is a Re-Post from an ealier BLOG. There are lots of new followers to our blog since our book was first relased. We want to make sure everyone get the back story and an opportunity to get one.

 

Friends

We have reached a milestone in the life of this “little project.” It started nearly 26 years ago when my daughter Brittany was born. As I stumbled around hoping to be a great Dad for my daughter, I learned a few things through “On the job training.” Then, my entire adult life working for Young Life has given me a front row seat into the lives of adolescents and their struggles.

Long story short, I felt compelled to record my thoughts and experiences of being a dad to my daughter. I felt led to record them all into one place and make them available to whoever might be interested. Further, I felt that getting input from dozens of other Dads, daughters and Young Life leaders would provide a unique collection of content.

Never really knowing where this was all going, I am happy to announce that the project which I spearheaded and collaborated with many others has been turned into a book. And that book is available for consumption starting right now! Let this blog post signify the release of a book I have entitled “Prized Possession.” You will have to read chapter two in order to understand where this title came from.

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Kristy Fox is a huge part of this project and her female perspective has been an invaluable component to the conversation. My voice is strong as a Dad who raised a daughter. However, her voice is strong from a woman’s perspective and has provided a strong influence. She is someone who has been intimately involved in the lives of adolescent girls for over 20 years. Kristy has contributed an important chapter in this book as she speaks about what girls are battling every day. She has also been a sounding board for the rest of the chapters as I compiled them. My own daughter, Brittany, has also contributed a chapter from her perspective.

Additionally there are dozens of veteran Dads who have shared their insights on what they did and how they approached raising their daughters. Maybe the best part of the book tho, is a chapter written by a compilation of testimonies from post teen age girls who turned out great. I asked them “what did your dad do?” “What impacted you?” You will hear from awesome women what their dad did well. You will want to steal what you hear them say.

We have no real commercial goals for this book. Well, I’d love to break even on it if I can. Beyond that, I have no idea. The point of this project was not to become a “best seller” and make a lot of money. The point was to gather important voices and share important insights on a very important topic. My hope is that this book becomes a resource for Dads who are looking for a little encouragement and practical help for the sake of a healthy daughter who gets what she deserves. It is irrelevant whether 1 or 1 million people read this book. I am just doing what I believe I was asked to do by pulling it all together.

If you care to order this book, hit the banner below. There is also a button on our website to be used in purchasing the book as well. If you believe this topic is as important as I do, then I would ask you to forward this e-mail to everyone you know,  “share” it on your facebook, “tweet” it on twitter and ask people you know to check it out on our website. I want a lot of Dads to participate in this conversation because I believe there is some greats stuff on the pages which will make a difference in the lives of little girls. Thanks for your help in spreading the word!

May God bless you in your parenting and may God use the words recorded in this book to empower Dads and bless the little girls they love.

Bless you

Alan Smyth

Click the banner below if you want to buy our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and  e-book.

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