Alan Smyth blogs on Mondays and also is the author of the book Prized Possession about his journey of life with his daughter, his love for her, and his desire to help other dads enjoy their daughters and step into their lives in meaningful ways. A while back I had his daughter Brittany step into the conversation as a guest blogger and several people were so touched by her that they wanted to hear more from her perspective. I was moved by her answer to the following question so thought I would share it with you.

“What things do you most appreciate about your dad?”

The top three things that I appreciate about my dad are: his Godly heart, his unwavering commitment to my mom, and his consistent presence in my life. These three things have shaped me, and shown me what I am worth and what I deserve.

I appreciate my dad’s Godly heart, because it has shown me what it looks like to turn to Jesus in every situation. From a very young age, he taught my brother and I the importance of living a life that glorified God. From memorizing weekly Bible verses, to singing fun worship songs in the car on the way to school, he has helped arm me with the spiritual tools needed to navigate this crazy world.

I also appreciate his relationship with my mom. My dad has undoubtedly set the standard for my future husband. I’ve been observing my parents’ relationship for almost 25 years, and even in the moments of turmoil, I’ve never questioned my dad’s love and commitment to my mom, and in turn, have never questioned his love and commitment to our family. Because of the example he has set, I have been in real-life situations with guys where when it came time for the DTR (“define the relationship”), I’ve literally told them, “Sorry this isn’t going to work. I’ve seen the way my dad treats my mom over the last 25 years, and because of that, I know what I deserve and I know it is not unrealistic to expect.” My dad has given me a reason to set the bar high, and to never settle for anything less.

Last, but certainly not least, I appreciate my dad’s consistent presence in my life. He didn’t just come around when it was convenient for him or when it was easy. He was always there. The good, the bad, and the ugly. He was in it for the long haul, and was not afraid to get his hands dirty. Consistency is so hard to come by in this unstable world, and it was my dad’s persistent and intentional actions that showed me what unconditional love looks like.

Brittany Smyth

Amazing! Powerful words from a daughter who was loved well by her father!

Kristy Fox

Click the banner below if you want to buy our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and soon e-book.

On June 15, Alan and I will conduct a two hour, interactive, live seminar at Real Life Church in Valencia. The seminar loosely follows the contents of the book. We would love to see you and your friends there. Click the banner below to get more information and get signed up.

I recently had a great conversation with a good friend regarding the title of our book that we announced last week. Without yet reading the book, he offered that the title “rubbed him the wrong way.” He went on to describe how he sees his daughter as much more than a “thing” ie. A “possession.” To which I said “ABSOLUTLY.” I happened to have a copy of the book handy and I directed him to a few key parts in the book which I will now direct you to.

From an opening page of the book:

“Prized Possession” from the Bible

“And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession”

James 1:18b, NLT

Prized Possession from the Dictionary:

 “The biggest thing in your life, the one thing you couldn’t imagine your life without”

“Something you care for deeply above all else”

“It could be anything you cherish close to your own heart and can be worth millions or worth nothing to someone else”

Excerpt from Chapter 2

When I think of the word “possession,” I do not think of it as an inappropriate, overbearing, “possessive” ownership that isn’t healthy. Rather, I think of possession in a loving, protective way that defines my place and role in Brittany’s life, and hers in mine. “Prized Possession” is one that I hold above all else and cherish with all of my heart. It’s a treasure with deep, intrinsic value. After all, Brittany is “mine,” because God saw fit to entrust her to me as her dad. She is my responsibility and my daughter, and I would defend and protect her to the death.

Excerpt from Chapter 8 (written by my daughter)

“What are you?”

“Prized Possession!”

“And…”

“Don’t you forget it!”

When I consider the woman I am today, I realize that this small conversation played an integral part in shaping me into the person I am right now. These four lines represent a life-long conversation that has taken place between my dad and me. I never realized how powerful these words were or how lucky I was to hear them on a regular basis. My dad began this conversation before I could speak in complete sentences or comprehend what meaning it carried. These words were some of the first words added to my lexicon. To this day, there is only one answer when my dad asks the simple question, “What are you?” Without any hesitation I reply, “Prized possession.” “And…” “Don’t you forget it!” It’s second nature. It’s who I am. It’s who I will always be.

My friend came back to me, gave me a hug and said, “I get it.”

I wanted to relay this experience in case any of you had the same question. Obviously the book goes into much more explanation, but this should get you started.

I’d love to know what you thought about the book after you’ve had a chance to read it. Praying it makes a difference for many. Could be a great “Fathers’s Day” gift.

Bless you

Alan Smyth

Click the banner below if you want to buy our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and soon e-book.

On June 15, Kristy and I will conduct a two hour, interactive, live seminar at Real Life Church in Valencia. The seminar loosely follows the contents of the book. We would love to see you and your friends there. Click the banner below to get more information and get signed up.

I was with a good friend this past weekend that has begun a new season of ministry. He is living and working with a new faith community and is making some great new friends. One of his new friends is an older, wise Parrish Priest who is well known and well loved among this group of folks. In a conversation with my friend he offered three simple reminders for our life and faith journey.

. You are not God

            This is not heaven

            Don’t be an ass

I am not sure why we forget things that are so clearly and painfully obvious, but we do. So let’s try to remember.

You are not God

You do not have all the answers to why, how or what is happening. On some days you will not even have the right questions, much less the right answers. You are not all powerful, you are not all knowing, and you do not possess or express Divine love, Divine wisdom or Divine grace. You my friend are not God.

This is not Heaven

We are not yet in our heavenly home. The world we live in, love in and work in is broken and messy. Paul describes all of creation as “groaning” while it awaits the full restoration and redemption that has not yet arrived. I have done my own share of groaning. We can and should live with great hope, great expectation, and great courage. Yet let us not forget, this is not heaven.

Don’t be an Ass.

Kind is better than harsh. Humility is better than pride. “I am sorry” is better than “I told you.” Mercy is better than judgment. “Loosing” for the right reason, is better than “winning” for the wrong reason. Love is better and stronger than fear. So let God love you, and remember, don’t be an ass.

Grace and Peace

Dr. Don Worcester

Friends

We have reached a milestone in the life of this “little project.” It started nearly 25 years ago when my daughter Brittany was born. As I stumbled around hoping to be a great Dad for my daughter, I learned a few things through “On the job training.” Then, my entire adult life working for Young Life has given me a front row seat into the lives of adolescents and their struggles.

Long story short, I felt compelled to record my thoughts and experiences of being a dad to my daughter. I felt led to record them all into one place and make them available to whoever might be interested. Further, I felt that getting input from dozens of other Dads, daughters and Young Life leaders would provide a unique collection of content.

Never really knowing where this was all going, I am happy to announce that the project which I spearheaded and collaborated with many others has been turned into a book. And that book is available for consumption starting right now! Let this blog post signify the release of a book I have entitled “Prized Possession.” You will have to read chapter two in order to understand where this title came from.

Kristy Fox is a huge part of this project and her female perspective has been an invaluable component to the conversation. My voice is strong as a Dad who raised a daughter. However, her voice is strong from a woman’s perspective and has provided a strong influence. She is someone who has been intimately involved in the lives of adolescent girls for over 20 years. Kristy has contributed an important chapter in this book as she speaks about what girls are battling every day. She has also been a sounding board for the rest of the chapters as I compiled them. My own daughter, Brittany, has also contributed a chapter from her perspective.

Additionally there are dozens of veteran Dads who have shared their insights on what they did and how they approached raising their daughters. Maybe the best part of the book tho, is a chapter written by a compilation of testimonies from post teen age girls who turned out great. I asked them “what did your dad do?” “What impacted you?” You will hear from awesome women what their dad did well. You will want to steal what you hear them say.

We have no real commercial goals for this book. Well, I’d love to break even on it if I can. Beyond that, I have no idea. The point of this project was not to become a “best seller” and make a lot of money. The point was to gather important voices and share important insights on a very important topic. My hope is that this book becomes a resource for Dads who are looking for a little encouragement and practical help for the sake of a healthy daughter who gets what she deserves. It is irrelevant whether 1 or 1 million people read this book. I am just doing what I believe I was asked to do by pulling it all together.

If you care to order this book, hit the banner below. There is also a button on our website to be used in purchasing the book as well. If you believe this topic is as important as I do, then I would ask you to forward this e-mail to everyone you know,  “share” it on your facebook, “tweet” it on twitter and ask people you know to check it out on our website. I want a lot of Dads to participate in this conversation because I believe there is some greats stuff on the pages which will make a difference in the lives of little girls. Thanks for your help in spreading the word!

May God bless you in your parenting and may God use the words recorded in this book to empower Dads and bless the little girls they love.

Bless you

Alan Smyth

Click the banner below if you want to buy our new book. It is available in soft cover, hard cover and soon e-book. You will have to check back to the site in a few days if you desire e-book.

Most guys understand competing. We tend to keep score and keep track of our standing and rank in lots of different places and lots of different ways. We tend to do it openly and directly. As a group, men are much more likely to add up their respective wins and losses and go on their way. Our daughters will have to navigate more than Competition. They will have to face and battle Comparison. Competition is a scorecard on my performance. Comparison is a verdict on my value, and the jury is always out

Alisa Keeton is a good friend and Ministry Leader. She founded Revelation Wellness and writes a great blog on health, fitness and freedom. Her recent Post on “Comparison” reflects a real tension that many of our daughters will be working out in their own lives.

I read a quote the other day that said, “Comparison is a violent act against oneself.”

Dang. Truth. Ouch.

Here’s the deal. If you are a woman, with air in your lungs, you have suffered from this debilitating disease called comparison. It’s gross. It’s heavy and ill fitting. It lurks around nearly every corner for every woman alive. It gives reason for why Jesus would tell us to armor up, for it is one of the enemy’s greatest schemes.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. – Ephesians 6:11

Comparison recently shot a new hook into my heart. So here I am, ready to confess it and keep my freedom. And maybe, just maybe, someone else will get free too.

As a young girl I can remember looking at tall, blonde hair, blue eyed all American kind of girls and thinking to myself “I’m screwed.” My 5 ft. 1 inch (on a good day) athletic bodied and ethnic featured self didn’t stand a chance. I wasted some of my younger years trying to become someone I could never be. Eventually my rebellious nature kicked in and I chose to fight back against the status quo. I began a radical embrace of who I was on the outside; not even realizing there was an inside to deal with. Right about this time I leaned into making my body into the shrine I knew it could be. It got so crazy that I even elected myself to go up against 10-12 other women, who have spent countless hours in the gym, shellacked themselves with brown paint, haven’t eaten real food for days, all wearing bathing suits, posing half naked before a panel of mostly men, just so I could have a chance at “winning” the comparison game. (Read more at revelationwellnesss.org)

Alisa’s story goes on to a good ending. The battle against Comparison is far from over. How is your daughter doing in this battle? Who does she compare herself to? Ask her. What verdict is she hearing and believing about her place in this world. Keep asking questions, keep listening, and keep showing up.

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester