A Sack Lunch

Dr. Don Worcester —  January 30, 2015 — Leave a comment

A sea of hungry people and one sack lunch, this is not the kind of

situation that ends well for anybody, particularly the guy with the

lunch bag. A more “reasonable” plan could have avoided this dire

scenario. Several of the guys in this story saw the train wreck

coming, “It’s getting late, these people are hungry, and they need to go

buy food, Send Them Away!” This was a reasonable plan. Men tend to

like “reasonable” plans. We are good at evaluating, anticipating and

strategizing. The men in this story were working hard to solve

problems and manage circumstances. It’s hard for most of us guys to be

around or in front of a need that we cannot meet.

Men often carry this internal tension wondering if their resources and

abilities will make any real difference when the time comes.

 

This account is part of the “Good News” recorded by the Gospel writers

in the first century. I am not sure it felt like “Good News” to the

guys in this story. Jesus opted to not send the hungry multitude away.

He ignored this reasonable plan and offered another solution for this

hungry crowd, ” You feed them.” You gotta know that these men thought this was a crazy, impossible bad idea. “We have nothing to meet this massive need!” was their reply; “Nothing”, said Jesus. It turns out that they had next to nothing; their combined efforts had produced one sack lunch.

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What happened next in this story was crazy, it was impossible and it

was very good. Turns out that sometimes God likes to do crazy,

impossible and good things with nothing more than some nervous men and a sack lunch.

 

Dads with daughters are often looking out over a sea of needs, many of

which they feel inadequate to meet. Many of us are paralyzed by the

responsibility to show up with something that will really make a

difference in our daughter’s life. It can be discouraging to work,

scramble and pray and find we have nothing more to offer than a ” sack

lunch.”

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It turns out that Jesus can do some crazy, impossible and good things

with even our smallest contribution.

 

“I don’t really know how to help you right now, can I just sit with

you for a few minutes?”

 

” Seems  like things are kind of hard and crazy. I’m sorry.”

 

” I am really glad that I get to be your dad, you’re beautiful and amazing”

 

“ I am not sure how this is all going to work out, but I love you and I am not going anywhere”

 

” Jesus, thank you for my daughter, please comfort her and bless her, amen.”

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These are Sack Lunch offerings. A dad with next to nothing, has something, bring the something you have.

 Don’t believe the lie that a little thing will make little difference.

We have a big God, write your daughter’s name on that Sack Lunch, then give it to Him and see what He can do with it.

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester

Burned Beautiful

kristyfox —  January 28, 2015 — 1 Comment

jenn-blog-570x300
http://www.thefreedommovement.us/burned-beautiful/

 

Please visit the webpage above.   A beautiful story worth passing along to others and sharing with your daughter.  I have known Jenn since she was in high school and she lived out this story in our community.  She gracefully and amazingly walked out the story she tells about in this blog as she lived alongside of teenage girls she was mentoring who were struggling with their own issues of worth, value, identity and beauty.  She was invaluable to teenage girls as they processed their own quest for beauty and they watched her embody true beauty, scars and all.

Kristy Fox

 

 

Confession time. I love a good Pie Chart. I find them visually appealing and I love how they capture and reflect important information in a concise way. Pie Charts are great for assessing proportions but limited in reflecting priorities. A Pie Chart will tell you how much of something you have, it will not tell you how important that “something” is.

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As parents we need to recognize both the appeal and the limitation of viewing our lives through a Pie Chart mentality. Slicing our lives up into proportions may cause us to fixate on “balance.” Balance has become the Holy Grail of personal health and a major expectation in our role and responsibility as parents. I am not bashing the goal of leading a well-ordered life, but the quest and fixation on “achieving balance” can itself become overwhelming and counterproductive.

Pie Charts promise a better life if we could only get the proportions right.

What if our real life is not a Pie Chart?

What if our real life is a Solar System?

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A Solar System does not work because it is “balanced”; it works because it is Centered.

On any given week or month there may be dozens of good opportunities, experiences or activities available to our daughters. How do we as dads and parents navigate through all the programs and possibilities? Here are a few things to consider:

 

  • More is not always better. Plenty of kids today are suffering from an overload of activities. They are very busy doing very good things. We all need some margin in our life, some relaxation, some recreation, some down time with no screens and no activities.
  • Schedule the most important things first. Decide what you will make time for, and then put it in your schedule. Once the real priorities are in, let everything else fill in around them.
  • A Centered life will find the right balance. Without a clear center, there can be no clear priorities. A dad without real priorities is just managing activities and spinning plates.

 

What is in the Center of your Solar System? Who or what do you organize and prioritize your whole life around? At the end of the day we all have some Center, some #1 Thing that ultimately defines the orbit of everything else in our world. We need to be honest as dads about what occupies that Center position. Our daughters are watching and waiting to discover what really matters, lets show them.

 

Grace and Peace,

Dr. Don Worcester    

 

 

 

As adults we hear about how hard it is to be a teenager in today’s world, but as you bend your ear to listen to the hearts and thoughts of these young girls, you begin to really see what it means. It is not just the external pressures around them that makes it difficult for them, but also the internal pressure and negative self-talk that comes from within.

Pressure to succeed, to excel, to have the right curves in the right places, to be skinny, to be fun, to be pretty, to be sexy, to be athletic, to be feminine, to be “enough”. The teenage world in which they live is exhausting, impossible, and lands countless girls believing they aren’t enough for anyone. The life of a teenage girl is comprised of comparing. They compare themselves to everyone around them, all of the time! How can they measure up to the airbrushed supermodels, the teenage sex icons, the music video and movie “hotties”? Then there are the girls in their classes, the “good” girls, the “bad” girls and all of the other versions of who they “should” be. The examples in many of their lives have said in so many words – if you are not “enough” on your own – fix it, buy it, or have surgery to correct it. Meanwhile, these wounded, bleeding hearts are trying to also answer the main questions in their life that every teenager has to face – who loves me and why am I important?

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Teenage girls crave love, real love, and yet have such a hard time receiving it and believing they are worth it. For many of them – they have no idea what it looks like to be loved well or to believe they are lovable. In recent years, I’ve noticed young women are struggling more with the primary questions of “Who loves me?” and “Why am I important?” than I have seen in past years. Many of them simply do not love themselves and certainly do not see themselves as important. So, in their minds, why would anyone else see value in them, even God?

Please hear how important it is to keep telling your daughter how loved she is by you and by the Lord, just as she is. How important she is to you and to the Lord, just as she is. “I love you” and “you are really important to me” are great phrases to add to our everyday conversations with those we love!

With thanks to all you great dads out there,

Kristy Fox

 

You have probably heard the phrase before, “Happy wife, happy life.” The first time I heard this phrase, it was in a comedy sketch where the comedian proceeded to rattle off 20 minutes of hilarious marriage material. His point was to help us guys understand that if we keep our wife happy, our life will be much better. If she is happy, we are happy!

In the context of this Father/Daughter blog which you can subscribe to at www.myfatherdaughter.com this phrase means even more! We get a “two-fer!” There is an opportunity to get more “bang for the buck.” Who among us doesn’t love a great deal whenever we can get one!

special offer In case you missed my blog entry regarding New Year’s Resolutions, I spoke about the three things that young women have spoken about that impacted them greatly. One of those key principles was when they saw their dad loving and respecting their mom in a great way.

Let’s break down the “two-fer”

twofer hotdogs

If you love, honor and respect your wife, she will generally respond in a likewise manner to you! As we share our emotion, affection, heart, mind and soul with our spouse, she will be freed up to respond in kind, and love us the way we need to be loved in return.

Here is the bang for the buck and the value added. You obviously care about your daughter, your relationship with her and her general well-being. Your daughter arrives in this life with a blank slate. She is learning how everything works. She does this by watching, interacting and exploring life. Her most important classroom for this learning is her home and her biggest teachers are her parents. You as dad, might have the strongest, most powerful voice in your daughter’s life.

Everything your daughter learns about men, dating, how she should be treated, what is acceptable and how worthy she is of respect will first come from you and what she observes at home. So, loving, honoring, and respecting your wife in a great way has a “two-fer” effect.

  1. You get to have a great marriage.
  2. Your daughter learns what to look for and expect in future boyfriends and husband.

My 26 year old daughter Brittany, has contributed a chapter in the book, “Prized Possession.” In her chapter she wrote this:

“After 24 years of watching my dad interact with my mom, I know for sure that he has every quality that I want to find in my future husband. It is because of the amazing example that he has set that I know what I deserve, and I will not settle for anything less. For that, I am extremely grateful.”

I share what she said with great humility. In my mind, I could have done a much better job at being a husband all these years. BUT, what Brittany wrote, unprompted, highlights this concept for me. Your daughter will look for a man using YOU as the lens she looks through. She will know from YOU what is acceptable and attainable. The way YOU love and honor your wife will partly determine the kind of husband (or boyfriend) your daughter looks for. What lessons on love and marriage is your daughter learning YOU?

Today’s Take Away: Take an inventory of how your marriage is doing. Recognize that your daughter, no matter what her age, is watching and absorbing. Ask your wife how you can be a better husband to her.

God bless you in this pursuit friends

Alan Smyth

“Like” us on facebook – “MyFatherDaughter.com”

Follow us on twitter – “MyFatherDaugher.com” @2cor618

 

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Well Built

Dr. Don Worcester —  January 16, 2015 — Leave a comment

When praise and practice disconnect, we set ourselves up for great loss.

Jesus asked his followers a hard and honest question about the depths of their call and their convictions. Let’s listen in.

 

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?

As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.

They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.

But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”

Luke 7:46-49

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When we depend on our good words, good intentions or good theology to weather the storms of life we are building on the sand. Sandy Foundations seem fine on Sunny days, but when the when the clouds roll in and the sky turns black and the rains begin to pour, our Foundations will be tested.

 

Sunny days and good weather make it easy for us to enjoy our above ground accomplishments. The visible parts of our life and family can be counted and captured like a Family Christmas Card. What we do not see from the curb is the Foundation our lives are built on.

 

Our lives may have lots of Curb Appeal, but when a Storm rolls in, the things above ground make little difference in what stands or falls. We should not expect our good choices to stop the bad weather. Both the wise and the foolish are subject to the strong winds and punishing rains. In a big storm, one kind of Foundation is validated and another kind is devastated.

 

So what makes the difference?

 

Listen closely.

Everyone who;

 

“Comes to me”

 

“Hear my words”

 

“And puts them into practice”

 

Is building on a Rock.

A large unmovable, unshakable, unbreakable, Rock.

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The blueprint is pretty clear.  Strong Foundations are developed in our life by saying Yes to Christ.

 

Is your practice, to Go to Christ? Yes……No?

 

Is your practice, to hear his words? Yes……No?

 

Is your practice, to put those words into practice?

Yes….No?

 

Let’s keeping saying YES.

Let’s keep smiling.

A Big Rock never has to be afraid of a little rain!

 

Grace and Peace

Dr. Don Worcester

 

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