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As the Holidays are upon us, I wanted to suggest a few very practical things to do with your daughter. Typically, both you and your daughter will have a little down time coming up. Thanksgiving is this Thursday and you will likely have a long weekend. Then, Christmas vacay is right around the corner.

Thanksgiving

Here are a few suggestions to help take advantage of the extra time you will have with your daughter. Obviously depending on your daughter’s age, you will need to make adjustments.

*Take your daughter out to breakfast or lunch over the holidays. (Do it more than once)

*Sit down and watch one of your daughters TV shows WITH her. Take an interest, ask some questions.

*Sneak into your daughter’s bathroom at night and write a note on her mirror. Tell her something you are proud of her for.

*Take your daughter to a movie over vacation.

*Ask her “If you could do anything at all during your vacation, what would it be?” Then DO IT with her!

*Look at the “written resources” section of our website (www.myfatherdaughter.com) Find the section with the “Father Daughter Scriptures” and read her a new bible verse each day. Then discuss it by saying “what do you think that means?” and “What would change if we lived like we believed it was true?”

*In the “Video Resources” section of our website, show her the “Evolution” video and discuss how most of the beauty projected in the media is NOT real.

*Tell her you are going to start a new tradition called the “Father/Daughter Get away.” Discuss where the two of you are going to go on an overnight trip sometime this coming spring or summer.

This is just a start. Take any of these or make some up on your own. The important thing is that you engage with your daughter somehow, some way. The upcoming month can afford you more of an opportunity to do so.

As Nike said…. “Just Do It”

I’d love to hear about anything you did with your daughter. Share your success with us!

Have an awesome Thanksgiving Holiday with your family!

Press on

Alan Smyth

 

Now that the Holiday season is officially ON, don’t forget to peruse the My Father Daughter Store for some fun items for the Dad’s & Daughters in your life! Hit the banner below to take you to our store!

 

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Live Your Faith

Alan Smyth —  October 23, 2018 — Leave a comment

If you have been following this blog, you have heard us speak about the three things that young women have said that have impacted them greatly. This week, I want to talk about the next one on the list. One of the key principles that I heard impacted girls growing up was seeing their dad modeling and living out an authentic faith in God.

Faith

Let’s break this down a little

As your daughter begins her lifetime of learning, her biggest class room is in your home. You are her first and most effective teacher. The launch she gets in life will largely be determined by what she learns in her home classroom. Here is an incomplete list of the things that a daughter can get from a dad who lives out an authentic faith.

She sees (and experiences) unconditional love, forgiveness, trust, faith & hope. She learns about giving as her parents give away their time, talent and treasure. As she sees her dad humble himself in prayer, she learns the value of a Big God who is in involved. As her dad takes her to church she learns the value of community. As her dad lives out and incorporates scripture into the family, she learns valuable biblical lessons.

A Godly life, home and family is the best way to go. It isn’t necessarily the easiest, but it is clearly the best.  As you love and serve your God, you will bring people closer, love more freely, feel more deeply, and live more abundantly.

These are all things I want for my daughter. Obtaining these things will help pave the way and set a healthy trajectory for her. It isn’t good enough to outsource this teaching to your church or some other avenue. YOU must live it out on a consistent basis or your words will be cheap and hollow.

Do you want your daughter to live out the characteristics I have described above? It might seem a little odd for me to challenge your spiritual life in a parenting blog. However, it is based on real data I received from high quality young women. They spoke over and over about the huge impact they received by watching and experiencing their dads living out their own authentic faith.

keep calm and have faith

Today’s Take Away: Look into your own life and heart. John 3:30 talks about Jesus becoming an increasingly bigger part of your life and YOU becoming an increasingly smaller part of your life. Give some thought to how much space in your heart you have given Jesus. Look for ways to turn over more and more of your life to what God has for you. Your daughter receives a huge benefit by you stepping up in your spiritual life.

God bless you in this pursuit friends

Alan Smyth

There is an entire chapter in the book “Prized Possession” which is devoted to hearing from high quality young women what impacted them most as they were growing up. The topic today was one of the top three!

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More Real Talk

Alan Smyth —  August 3, 2018 — Leave a comment

In our book Prized Possession, we have inserted some real comments from real girls between chapters which help to shape the importance of this conversation. In a sobering reflection, take a look at what this real life girl said about her Dad.
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Real Talk
“My dad is lazy and absent from my life. Although he is home, he sits around watching TV or doing other things rather than spend time with our family. He only communicates with me when he is mad at me for something I have done. When he knows he has done something that upsets my brother or me, he tries to buy our love back by getting us presents.
He gave me a gift a few months ago that is still sitting in my closet. It’s still wrapped, because
I don’t even care enough to open it. I can’t even look at it because it makes me so angry.”

 

Here is what I hear from this heartbroken young lady:

• Dad is absent, not physically, but emotionally.
• Dad is not engaged with his family.
• Dad does not communicate positively.
• Dad thinks he can buy his kids off to compensate for his own shortcomings.
• Your daughter wants YOU in her life

Learn a lesson from a knucklehead Dad. It’s actually not that hard. Just do the exact opposite of what this Dad is doing and do it consistently!

Be Better!

Alan

You can pick up our book and some other fun stuff from our store. Hit the link below:

 

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Seminar For Dads

Alan Smyth —  July 4, 2018 — Leave a comment

“Prized Possession” Seminar for Dad’s

There are several facets to this “Father/Daughter” conversation which have bubbled up. If you are reading this, then you already know about the blog found at www.myfatherdaughter.com. This has been a fun place for meaningful conversation via this blog and the associated website. If you are not “subscribed” to our blog, please do so at our website.  I’m not sure if you knew that we wrote a book last year called “Prized Possession.” The book has been well received and helpful for lots of Dads and is available on our website.

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Another fun component to this project is that Kristy Fox and I are available to deliver a two hour, interactive seminar which is based on the table of contents of our book. We have done this many times and each time it has been incredibly well received. We have loved processing the important Father/Daughter relationship with hundreds of Dads.

A & K speaking

If you would be interested in booking us for this seminar you may e-mail us at Alan@myfatherdaugher.com to begin the conversation. You can also pull down the drop-down on our website entitled “seminar.” There you will find more information including some feedback from recent attenders.

Crowd at seminar

“I feel equipped to engage”

“Good best practices”

“Very informative, great job”

“Excellent job of encouraging the dads. Thanks for the great ideas. “

“Keep up the great work”

“It really opened my eyes at the importance of being a more prominent part of my daughter’s life”

“Be the man I want my daughter to seek”

“It’s time to forget the past and engage”

“Let her know she is my gift from God”

“This was great motivation to finish well. Thank you for the blessing”

“Kristy, you don’t know how much you have helped”

E-mail me for more information!

Be Better!

Alan

By the way, you can also follow us on Instagram, facebook and twitter!

 

Check out our store below for some fun gear and to pick up our book!

 

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Happy Fathers Day

Alan Smyth —  June 18, 2018 — 8 Comments

Happy Father’s Day to all of you GREAT dad’s. How do I know you are a great dad? If you are reading this, you are engaged and interested in doing the best you can. That is a great dad! It’s not about the finished product, it’s about the trajectory you are on. I am proud of those Dad’s who follow this blog. I often get messages from many of you sharing highlights, pictures and stories from your journey.

This blog post is a simple shout of encouragement and affirmation to the hard work you are putting in regarding your role as Dad! This past Sunday was Father’s Day and so I salute you for taking your job seriously. I also want to challenge you to KEEP GOING! Stay after it! Even if things are tough, keep chasing your daughter.

1 Corinthians 15:58 talks of being “steadfast and immovable, always abounding in the work the Lord.”

2 Timothy 4:7 talks of “Fighting the good fight, finishing the race, keeping the faith.”

Do those things… be steadfast and immovable in your parenting patients and effort. Fight the good fight meaning it takes work and there is opposition. Finish the race meaning DON’T QUIT doing the right things. And keep the faith meaning know that God is working in and through you and your daughter even if you can’t always tell.

As you may or may not know, my kids are pretty grown. Trevor is 25 and Brittany just turned 30. I was really blessed this weekend to get wonderful Father’s Day wishes from them. I thought I would pass them along to you as an example of what your kids might be saying to you after they have grown through adolescence. For many, things are so turbulent (or will become so) that you can’t envision the other side. I don’t share these to say “look at ME” I share them to say “Look at YOU” and see the potential and victory that lies ahead. Be encouraged and press on!

Stay at it and God will bless….

Facebook message from Trevor that I got Saturday night…

Trevor fathers day post

What Brittany wrote on her card to me

Brittany fathers day card

 

Be steadfast!

Alan Smyth

 

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And Great Was it’s Fall

Alan Smyth —  June 12, 2018 — 2 Comments

If a tree falls in your driveway and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Last Sunday I had the most interesting and enlightening thing happen. My wife and I were leaving the house and heading to church. As I approached the driveway, the unexpected sight of my 30 foot tree laid across my driveway and onto my car. The ordinarily steady symbol of strength had fallen.

Tree 3

It took a few seconds for this odd site to register in my brain.  While I have heard of such things happening from time to time, I had never actually seen it up close. MY tree fell on MY car. But why? There was no particular storm the night before. There was no rain (I live in Southern California) There was no obvious reason why that tree should fall.

Tree 2

After closer examination, I think I found the reason. Upon further review…. The inside of the tree appeared to be infested with termites. The root system had been damaged.

Tree 1

The tree was strong looking on the outside, yet weak on the inside.  This tree gave the perception of strength while lived in the reality of weakness. Thriving in the visible, suffering in the invisible. And great was it’s fall.

How many times have we seen public figures, while appearing strong on the outside, experience a great fall? And upon further review, the interior is always in a weakened state. The roots system is always vulnerable.

Let my fallen tree be a reminder or perhaps a wake-up call to us all! We often spend so much time working on outward appearances that we neglect our inward strength, depth and integrity. Sooner or later a storm always comes. And in the case of my tree, it was so weak on the inside; it didn’t even require much of a storm to cause its fall.

Let’s be strong for our families! Let’s focus on our interior rather than our exterior. Let’s sink deep roots in things that matter. Our daughters need a strong role model and a pillar of strength to look up too. No one is above a fall. Guard your interior. Strengthen your roots and remain strong. Let there be no great fall in your life!

Be Strong!

Alan

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