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Recently some colleagues of mine asked me for my list of the top 10 things I wanted my daughter to know. The context is that I work with all women at an anti-human trafficking non profit called Saving Innocence. Check us out to learn more.

Their context is that they are inundated with poor examples of Dad’s and men in general. (I’m saying this very nicely here) They are walking every day with young girls who are dealing with the deep wounds of absentee Dad’s as well as those men who would buy and sell girls for sex. I think they needed a reminder of how things should be….

Click HERE to view a short video which tells the story of what I’m doing with Saving Innocence.

Me and Britt after a lunch date in DTLA

(She works at the Staples Center)


10 Things I want my Daughter to know

  1. I love you with my whole heart, unconditionally. Nothing you will ever do or say will ever change that.
  2. You are my “Prized Possession” (the most valuable part of my life)
  3. I will always be there to fight for you, defend you, empower you & protect you. I am available for both the fun and the hard conversations. I am on call 24 hours a day as the need arises.
  4. Your worth is not determined by the outside world, boy’s, media, or other people. But rather by your creator who is the only one who gets to establish your value. And He is crazy about you.
  5. You are a daughter of the King of the universe which makes you royalty and an heir to the kingdom. Step into that reality, live like you believe it.
  6. Don’t give any person in your life, especially boys, a voice in your life who don’t believe #5 is true and treat you as such.
  7. Be careful who you follow or listen to. You are being lied to on a daily basis regarding who you are and who you are supposed to be.
  8. Authentic Beauty is on the inside, not the outside. This is counter cultural.
  9. The treadmill of life is exhausting. Rest in who you are and know that you are enough.
  10. When looking for a man, find someone who understands all of the above.

I’m sure I could come up with a few more, but this is what came off the top of my head and which I have tried to live out over the course of her lifetime.

Here is your call to action!

First: what is on your list of things you want to make sure your daughter knows? Make a list!

Second: Show your daughter your list! Once I finished this list I sent it to my daughter and daughter in law to make sure they knew how much I loved them and make sure they knew the things I wanted them to know!

Daughter Brittany on the left and Daughter in Law, Katy on the right. 

I’m a blessed man!


Keep up the great work dads! You can do this!




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If you have been following this blog for a while, you have become familiar with the now, world famous, “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter” T-shirt.  We literally had interest in this shirt from over 70 countries. Apparently the idea of a Dad protecting his daughter and laying down some rules is not just an “American” cultural thing. If you have thus far missed all the hub-bub, click this link to see the blog post that went round the world and stirred an interest.

Rules Group


In light of my publishing the “10 Rules for Dating my Daughter”, a friend forwarded to me the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters.” Tony Dungy, Super Bowl winning football coach and strong Christian man gives much of his time to social & family issues. He has an effort called “All Pro Dad” which I recommend you looking at.

He recently published the “10 Rules for Dads of Daughters”

  1. Love her mom – Treat her mother with respect, honor and PDA.
  2. Always be there – Quality time doesn’t happen without Quantity time.
  3. Pray for her
  4. Dance with her – Don’t wait for her wedding day.
  5. Tell her she’s beautiful – Say it over and over again.
  6. She’s a butterfly – She too will spread her wings and fly someday.
  7. Write her a hand written letter – Every year on her birthday.
  8. Give her the gift of experiences – fishing, fixing things, taking her places etc.
  9. Never miss a birthday – She won’t remember the presents you give her.
  10. Don’t be late – She will eagerly await your return home from work.

That’s a pretty good list. I wonder how you are doing against that list? Why don’t you circle a couple of those right now and make sure to DO them this coming week. Even better would be to show this list to a friend and hold each other accountable for your intentional actions. Seems like if we just “let things happen,” some of the really important things get squeezed out by the really urgent things.

I know you would agree that your daughter is “really important.” Please don’t let the urgent issues at work or life take over. Start working down the list TODAY.

Press on

Alan Smyth

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Merry Christmas!

Alan Smyth —  December 25, 2017 — Leave a comment

Merry Christmas!

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”



I wish you a very Merry Christmas




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Easy Bake Oven !!!

Alan Smyth —  December 21, 2017 — Leave a comment

Merry Christmas Season to all. For us parents, this is a magical holiday. The lights, tree, presents and all the hype makes things fun. Depending on how old your daughter is, the “magical” quotient will vary. For those of you with a daughter in the 3-8 age range, Christmas is on steroids. Have fun with it. My kids are 25 & 29 so we have left the truly magical zone.

When Brittany was in the perfect zone for maximum Christmas fun, she opened a gift which elicited a response we still laugh about today. She wanted an “Easy Bake Oven” more than anything else, so of course we got one. When she opened it up and recognized what it was, she exclaimed in the most excited, 5 year old enthusiastic voice imaginable…. “EASY…. BAKE… OVEN!” with her face lit up with emotion. As she ripped open the paper she could hardly contain herself. It was one of those truly magical Christmas moments that we have all enjoyed.

easy bake oven

My Christmas wish and challenge for you this year is to pause and re calibrate to the real purpose of Christmas. Imagine going to a birthday party and passing presents around to all the guests and not actually giving one to the one whose birthday it is. That would seem weird and inappropriate. Yet, that is basically what we do every year. We get time off of work, decorate the house and buy lots of presents all in honor of someone’s birthday. Then, at the crescendo of the holiday, we often pass presents around to one another and ignore the one whose birthday it is.

Let me challenge you to pause with your family, and in some meaningful way, honor Jesus on Christmas. It might sound a bit rudimentary, but I know it is an exercise that is often overlooked. Find a way to say “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. Through the years, we have done it lots of different ways. Many years, my wife made a birthday cake for Jesus. We sang “Happy Birthday” and blew out candles. Often times, we paused to read the Christmas story out of the bible. When the kids were little, we made sure to pause before we opened presents and reminded them what Christmas was actually all about. We did Santa when they were little and we did Jesus always.

I think the best present you could give Jesus this year on His birthday is to pause and meaningfully recognize him at Christmas with your family. It will be a great gift to your daughter to see her Daddy honoring Jesus. And it will be a great gift to Jesus for Him to see you honor Him as well. I can just imagine Jesus responding with the child like enthusiasm that my Brittany did for her Easy Bake Oven at the sight of you giving Him the gift of your honor, respect and recognition this Christmas.


Today’s Take Away: Make sure you stop and, in some way, say “happy birthday to Jesus” with your kids this Christmas season. It could be a new tradition.

Merry Christmas


There is still time to get some great last minute Christmas gifts for the Dads in your life! See below!

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As the Holidays are upon us, I wanted to suggest a few very practical things to do with your daughter. Typically, both you and your daughter will have a little down time coming up. Thanksgiving is this Thursday and you will likely have a long weekend. Then, Christmas vacay is right around the corner.


Here are a few suggestions to help take advantage of the extra time you will have with your daughter. Obviously depending on your daughter’s age, you will need to make adjustments.

*Take your daughter out to breakfast or lunch over the holidays. (Do it more than once)

*Sit down and watch one of your daughters TV shows WITH her. Take an interest, ask some questions.

*Sneak into your daughter’s bathroom at night and write a note on her mirror. Tell her something you are proud of her for.

*Take your daughter to a movie over vacation.

*Ask her “If you could do anything at all during your vacation, what would it be?” Then DO IT with her!

*Look at the “written resources” section of our website ( Find the section with the “Father Daughter Scriptures” and read her a new bible verse each day. Then discuss it by saying “what do you think that means?” and “What would change if we lived like we believed it was true?”

*In the “Video Resources” section of our website, show her the “Evolution” video and discuss how most of the beauty projected in the media is NOT real.

*Tell her you are going to start a new tradition called the “Father/Daughter Get away.” Discuss where the two of you are going to go on an overnight trip sometime this coming spring or summer.

This is just a start. Take any of these or make some up on your own. The important thing is that you engage with your daughter somehow, some way. The upcoming month can afford you more of an opportunity to do so.

As Nike said…. “Just Do It”

I’d love to hear about anything you did with your daughter. Share your success with us!

Have an awesome Thanksgiving Holiday with your family!

Press on

Alan Smyth


Now that the Holiday season is officially ON, don’t forget to peruse the My Father Daughter Store for some fun items for the Dad’s & Daughters in your life! Hit the banner below to take you to our store!


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Great Video

kristyfox —  November 7, 2017 — Leave a comment

My daughter showed me this video this week – it’s worth watching and sharing. The world tells our girls a message that they are not enough. This video shares a different message. Check it out.

– Krisy Fox